A couple was invited to a masked costume Halloween party.
> The wife got a
> terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party
> alone. He,
> being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said
> she was
> going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no
> need for his
> good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his Batman
> costume
> (mask) and away he went.
>
> The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour,
> awakened without
> pain, and, as it was still early,
> decided to go to the party. In as much
> as her husband did not know what her costume was, she
> thought he would
> have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted
> when he was
> not with him. She put on a Goldilocks costume (mask). So
> she joined the
> party
> and soon spotted her husband enjoying himself on the dance
> floor,
> dancing with every nice woman he cuddled and occasionally
> giving a
> little kiss here and there. His wife went up to him and
> being a rather
> seductive woman herself, her husband left his new partner
> devoted his
> time to her.
>
> She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was
> her 'husband'. After some more to drink, he finally
> whispered a
> little
> proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to
> one of the
> cars and had quick sex in the back seat. She slipped away
> before
> unmasking herself or her husband and went home and put her
> costume
> (mask) away and got into bed, wondering what kind of
> explanation he
> would make up for his outrageous behaviour.
> She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked
> what kind of
> time he had. 'Oh, the same old thing. You know I never
> have a
> good time
> when you're not there.
>
> 'Then she asked, 'Did you dance much?'
> He replied, 'I tell you, I never even danced one dance.
> When I got
> there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we
> went into the
> spare room and played darts all evening.' 'You
> must have looked really
> silly wearing that Batman costume playing darts all
> night!' she said
> with unashamed sarcasm.
>
> To which the husband replied, 'Actually, I gave my
> Batman costume to
> your Dad who
> seemed to have had a jolly good time on the dance floor. I
> am told that he was seen by Frank taking a prostitute in a
> Goldilocks
> outfit out for a few minutes. Don't ask me what they
> did. You know your
> dad still wants to behave like a kid.'

my father was a good man until he stopped drinking beer, and started taking alcoho

Q: What do you call a deer without one eye?

A: No eye deer

A young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice.

The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, "But why?" he asked.

"Nothin, I just wanna quit that's all," she said sullenly.

"Look, I'll give you a raise."

"No," she said

"You can't just quit like that. There must be a reason. Tell me."

"Okay if you must know..." said the girl, and she took off her underwear and pointed to her pubic hair, "Look I haven't had this before, it's the broom's bristles, I tell you..."

Tickled by her innocence, he too took off his underwear and showed his, and said, "Ha ha...my dear it's nature. Look I have it too...."

"Oh no!" the girl cried, "I can't wait two weeks, I quit now! Not only do you have the bristles, but you've grown the handle as well."

@callaspade apparently am not,but i am a bishop

KENYAN PROVERBS
1. A baboon (monkey) laughs at the buttocks of another baboon.
2. A donkey always says thank you with a kick.
3. A fully grown up tree cannot be bent into a walking stick.
4. A rat-trap catches both the guilty and the innocent.
5. A woman’s stomach does not grow if she is not pregnant.
6. A word in the heart does not win.
7. An empty pot makes the loudest noise
8. Dip after dip depletes a jar of honey.
9. Even a friend can not rescue one from old age.

Johana Ndathe is dismayed when a new shop opens next to his selling similar products.The new shop has a sign that reads 'BEST BARGAINS'. To his shock, 2 wks later another store also selling similar products opens on the other side of his shop.Its sign reads 'BEST QUALITY'. Losing business at a tremendous rate, Johana puts up an even bigger sign.It reads 'MAIN ENTRANCE'

If money is the root of all evil....I want the whole tree

The Human Body

- It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

- One human hair can support 3kg (6.6 lb).

- The average man's private area is three times the length of his thumb.


- Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

- A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.


- There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

- Women blink twice as often as men.

- The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.



- Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

- If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

- Women reading this will be finished now.
- Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

Ha Ha Ha