Leona na Wendz wameongea kama mtu kumi
Back to your predicament, make the hubby see why whatever he is doing is wrong and dragging his family to the wrong direction. If he realizes this, he might just change his ways...I will disagree with the person who advised you that marriage counselors will not help, they might just make your husband look at the situation from a different perspective
With his behavior, you are exposed to ile ugonjwa kubwa (I pray that it doesn't get to you) and that may subsequently affect the two kids in future...I dont even want to think how that will play out..

I had posted somewhere sometime back vile some mama patad the hubby cheating with a chic living next to the mama's friend's place....one day, she picked up the second pair of car keys and went to visit her friend, and while the husband was at the chics house(kwa apartments), she drove away with the moto-gari back home. Shock!! when the husband came down from his chips-funga (a.k.a outside catering) to pata hakuna gari...called the wife and indicated that the moto-gari had been stolen . Mama tells him, achukuwe taxi, she will pay once he gets home...and at home, he finds his car, wife pays for taxi and prepares food and goes on like all is kawaida for kitu like 2 weeks...The guy cracked!!! and said something in the lines of "tafadhali, piga kelele, vunja vitu, but don't nyamaza, let's talk about it etc etc" Sijui if he had suspected something was put in the food

PS: hizo 2 weeks, alikuwa anashika pillow tu, no warmth from wife.

Moral of the story, sometimes silence is golden..i doubt the dude has cheated again, ever .

@Gift, pole sana

The guy maybe has some disorder.Does he show remorse?Does he batter you?You have genuine grounds for separation or divorce(Jesus approved divorce in cases of infidelity) but before you hit the road, consider your kids.They need a dad.

If you stay,mnyime kabisa he can transmit STDs or mdudu to you.N dont let the kids know you're hurting.

@gift I feel your pain..but to tell you the truth..You are a fool.So when he says he's sorry it makes everything ok?? Or you can do what a friend of mine is doing...get your own chips funga..

@ gift. You don't need a counselor you need prayers. Yaani you are complaining that your hubby is at home @ 9 reading newspaper and that he shouldn't?.

You should count yourself lucky. Just trust your instincts and do what you think its right. Every marriage is unique and no one will solve your problems but yourself.

If your hubby is here in wazua, he should know that you need attention. thats all you need, attention.

I wonder what complains you'd be having if he comes home at 2am daily drunk.

@gift
im sympathetic to your situation but you come across as uncertain of yourself
"shortcomings"-your not perfect, no one is
"appraisal" -lack of self confidence
"reading newspaper after after 9"-what time does he buy it? 4PM? Past 9 is booty calls
"email" - show of desparation. they must have had a good laugh at this.
"kids"- are a blessing not an excuse for your unhappiness.

All the sound advise here wont prevent you from getting HIV. A zebra never changes its stripes.
Wisen up.