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Just for laughs...corner
washiku
#2901 Posted : Thursday, July 14, 2016 10:49:11 AM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Hii Ujinga Lazima Ikome........
- Kumwagia plants Tusker eti una
refresh their roots.
-Kukatia dem kwa church hadi una
offer kumlipia sadaka.
-Kuenda media house kuomba kazi
yakuosha vyombo vya habari.
-Kupeleka slimpossible turkana.
- Kuingia church after watu washatoa
sadaka....shindwe
- Kutaka kuenda Sunday school ya
boarding.
- Kuapply lipstick kwa forehead ati una
make up mind yako!
- Kudhani first born wa mama mboga
anaitwa "mboga"
- Kureduce volume ya radio ndo usome
sms.
- Kukataa kuosha kifua juu watu
wanakuambia una roho safi
- Kutaka kupiga passport photo na
mabeste juu we ni mtu wa watu.
- Kuingia ward ya wanawake waja wazito
alafu unawagotea 'niaje wazito'
- Kuskiza empty cd juu hupendi kelele
- Kungojea jibu ukiambia mtu 'i love
u'....kwani ni swali
- Kushow Uhuru aende hague na national
anthem inaxema natukae na uhuru
aljazeera
#2902 Posted : Thursday, July 14, 2016 3:48:46 PM
Rank: New-farer

Joined: 6/22/2015
Posts: 51
Location: Nairobi
washiku wrote:
A man is driving down the road 🚗and breaks down near a monastery⛪. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down.
Do you think I could stay the night? The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner🍚🍲, even fix his car🔧🚗. As the man tries to fall asleep💤, he hears a strange sound💬.
The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you. You're not a monk. The man is disappointed😞 but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way🚗.

Some years later, The same man breaks down in front of the same monastery⛪. The monks again accept him, feed him🍚🍲, even fix his car🔧🚗. That night, he hears the same strange noise 💬that he had heard years earlier. The next morning🌞, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, We can't tell you😶. You're not a monk. The man says, All right, all right. I'm dying to know.😖

If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk? The monks reply, You must travel the earth 🌍and tell us how many blades of grass 🌾there are and the exact number of sand pebbles🔎 When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.

The man sets about his task. Some 4⃣5⃣ years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery⛪. He says, I have traveled the earth🌍 and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass🌾 and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth🌏.


The monks reply, Congratulations. You are now a monk😇. We shall now show you the way to the sound📡. The monks lead the man to a wooden door🚪 where the head monk says, The sound is right behind that door. The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked.

He says, Real funny. May I have the key🔑?




The monks give him the key🔑, and he opens the door.




Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone🚪.



The man demands the key to the stone door.



The monks give him the key🔑, and he opens it, only to find a door 🚪made of ruby.




He demands another key 🔑from the monks, who provide it.



Behind that door is another door🚪, this one made of sapphire,




So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald,




silver,




topaz,




and amethyst.




Finally, the monks say, This is the last key🔑 to the last door.




The man is relieved to know end🏁.




He unlocks the door🔓,




turns the knob,





and behind that door he is amazed 😳to find the source of that strange sound📡




. . . .








. . . .








. . . .








. . . .











. . . .









. . . .








. . . .














☝😐😶But he can't tell you what it is because you're not

a monk
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂



Applause Applause Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
A Theory of Everything.
Wamunyota
#2903 Posted : Tuesday, July 26, 2016 1:06:10 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 6/23/2014
Posts: 1,652
Teacher : Which type of coffee do we export??
Student :koffi olomide

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Hutia Mundu!!
Wamunyota
#2904 Posted : Tuesday, July 26, 2016 1:12:37 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 6/23/2014
Posts: 1,652


Hutia Mundu!!
Swenani
#2905 Posted : Friday, January 27, 2017 3:10:00 PM
Rank: User

Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,237
Location: Vacuum
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
washiku
#2906 Posted : Friday, January 27, 2017 4:59:44 PM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Aki bangi ni mbaya nimepatana mlevi akilia nikamuuliza mbona analia akaniambia ametumwa nyanya ya 10 na sukuma ya 10 na amepewa 10mbili. Hakumbuki ni gani ya nyanya na ni gani ya sukumaAki bangi ni mbaya nimepatana mlevi akilia nikamuuliza mbona analia akaniambia ametumwa nyanya ya 10 na sukuma ya 10 na amepewa 10mbili. Hakumbuki ni gani ya nyanya na ni gani ya sukuma
Intelligentsia
#2907 Posted : Friday, February 17, 2017 12:54:42 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/1/2009
Posts: 2,436
Nimeenda kwa yule jamaa mwenye hua anauza vichwa vya mbuzi.
Nikamuuliza kama ako na kichwa mzuri?
Yani ile kofi ameniekelea ta ndio natoka kwa chief kureport
washiku
#2908 Posted : Tuesday, March 14, 2017 10:56:44 AM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
1. Saturday = sports
2.Shopping is NOT a sport
3.Crying is blackmail.
4.Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!
5.Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument In fact all comments become null and void after 7 days
6.If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us
7.Whenever possible please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
8.Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we
9.ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit,We have no idea what mauve is.
10.If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
11.Don t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars
Rankaz13
#2909 Posted : Tuesday, March 14, 2017 12:19:56 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
washiku wrote:
We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
1. Saturday = sports
2.Shopping is NOT a sport
3.Crying is blackmail.
4.Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!
5.Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument In fact all comments become null and void after 7 days
6.If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us
7.Whenever possible please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
8.Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we
9.ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit,We have no idea what mauve is.

10.If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
11.Don t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars



Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
washiku
#2910 Posted : Tuesday, March 14, 2017 2:16:21 PM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
John came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled at him:

"How would u feel if u don't see me for two days?"
John couldn't believe his luck & said 'That would be great'!
Monday passed & he didn't see her......
Tuesday & Wednesday passed too.....
......
....
...
..
.
On Thursday John's swelling became better & now he could see her from the corner of one eye...!!
294 Pages«<289290291292293>»
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