Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years with only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for a while.

Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him. As she reclined on the wild grass Tarzan ran up to her and gave her a big kick in the crotch. In pain she screamed 'What the hell did you do that for?' Tarzan replied, 'Always check for squirrels.'

You two are nuts.....kabisa!!! ....Na hii Tarzan ni bure kabisa.Anapiga mboga?

How to Treat a Rude Customer

An award should go to the gate attendant at Luqa airport. A crowded Malta-London flight was cancelled.
She was the lone attendant in charge of Re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.
Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk.
He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS".
The attendant replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you,
But I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed.
He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"
Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone:
May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please?" she began.
With her voice being heard clearly throughout the terminal, she said,
"We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS.
If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14."
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the attendant, gritted his teeth and said, "F*** You!"
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too."

..A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. She says, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?"
One of the Japanese men says, "Can't you see? We are all berry hungry." The waitress says, "So how is whacking-off in the middle of the restaurant going to help that situation??"
One of the other businessmen replies: "The menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"

A wife wanted to surprise her husband on a valentine's day. She thought really hard what special gift would impress him. Finally she decided to buy him a dozen underpants.
She took the gift to him. He was quite impressed but upon opening it he asked his wife "My Dear thank you for the gift, but why are they of the same color?"
The wife asked in a suprised manner "Is it bad to have them be of the same color?"The husband replied "People will think that i never change my underpants"
The wife retorted "which people?"