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I've found that selfishness lies at the heart of all loneliness. I move away from people who are selfish, people move away from me because of my selfishness.

Selfishness cripples relationships. Loneliness is about dysfunctional relationships. From a sociological perspective, the society is meant to help the individual optimize his/herself; and the individual is supposed to help the society flourish. These two roles are the feminine in the former, and masculine in the latter. Selfishness distorts all this.

From a psychological perspective, selfishness is an outcome of ignorance and a deep sense of impotence and limitation.

One has to train the mind out of selfishness and loneliness. It goes beyond injunctions or maxims. The basis for human relationships as @swenani hinted must be universal and unconditional love born of enlightenment.

Loneliness goes deep into how cultural values are selected and pursued, and how members of a particular culture respond to these values. A capitalist system is very likely to create loneliness in the cities for example.

So far, the mind training system that has helped me even in this meditation is called 'lojong'- a part of yoga. It's called 'the great medicine', and I concur.

There is a big difference between being lonely and being alone, I am an introvert I like being alone most of the time, being lonely is not having anyone around when you need one

As a young man, my advice to the lady is this:

1. Accept yourself for who your are. Feel so good about yourself, even if you know you are ugly, you have cancer or HIV or if you are crippled. Just accept yourself and be happy about yourself. Always be optimistic, dont be judgemental and always complain thatlife is not fair to you.

2. Work on your health, and dress well. maintain good hygiene at all times, always look presentable, brush your teeth, and ensure that you always smell good. Enroll into a gym if you are too fat or join a fitness group.

I have met so many friends playing basketball, in the gym and by just following sports.

3. Occasionally ditch your personal car and ride in mathrees. your car secludes you from intercation with so many people. in times of traffic, hop into a comfortable mat and be free to interact.

I have met awesome people in mathrees......and the landing permission granted was almost 85% success rate.

4. Dont always grin, just smile at people, friends. grinning scares men away, smiling attracts good vibes and encourages people to talk to you. Dont look so frowned that you look scary!!

5. Start intelligent conversations with anybody that is next to you, either in the bank queue, restaurant, workmates, or wherever. An intelligent conversation will rate you highly. I am an aviation enthusiast....the type that can fly a plane, Embraer 190 theoretically, though i have never come close to one, but i am so passionate about piloting that am so knowledgeable.

Whenever i meet ladies who appear smart, i twist the stories until we get to my stronghold - aviation and piloting - then i mix them with aviation jargon. at the end of the day, the are fully praising me telling me how intelligent i am!!!! after that ukiomba namba huwezi kunyimwa!

in life there are so many avenues of making good friends, both "goodies" friends and real lovers, go to bars and night clubs, its not amust that you drink alcohol. drink soda and interact with people.

Enroll for salsa dances......hapo ndio unakutana na akina sisi......join a gym club.........play games....go swimming......go hiking.....go touring......go traveling

@Tycho does money come in?