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Pastor Rebecca falls for Swenani
Impunity
#1 Posted : Tuesday, February 23, 2016 2:06:17 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,331
Location: Masada
LPA = Long Post Alert

Last Sunday, I attended the best church service of my life. I felt like the people of Corinth after the apostle Paul had delivered the Lord’s message to them. All thanks to the new pastor – a woman. By the end of the sermon, a part of me wanted to get saved. A part of me wanted to be calmed down. That part was my erection. And who better to save it than the strikingly gorgeous pastor? Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t get a boner in church. It happened later on, when I was recollecting her words of wisdom while on my way home

Ooh…. Pastor Rebecca, I had never seen anything like her. She was beautiful, like a night of cloudless climes and starry skies. She was built with curves like the hull of a billionaire’s yatch. They way she connected with the congregation was magical. For the first time in a church, my mind had not drifted away.

While at home, I re-read the service sheet and noticed something interesting. The church was holding a free counseling service on Wednesday (yesterday) and the counselor would be none other than Pastor Rebecca. Whatever problem any church member was having, Pastor Rebecca would be there to advise and sooth.

...part 2 loading...
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You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

Impunity
#2 Posted : Tuesday, February 23, 2016 4:00:35 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,331
Location: Masada
..SOUND @MAGIGI'ISH...

Crazy as it was, I made a plan to create a non-existent personal problem then go get counseled by her, just for the fun of it. It’s said that as a seducer, you should always be innovative. There are always opportunities to hit on women everywhere. All you have to open your eyes and see what other guys don’t

When the day of reckoning arrived, I did all my work ‘shughulis’ early then I left town for church. Upon arriving at the compound, I asked the watchman where the counseling services were being conducted and he pointed to big certain office door a few miles away.

On the bench outside, there were two girls waiting in line. They both took their time inside. It was only after 45 minutes that I finally got in. Behind me, around 20 other people had already showed up and formed a line. The bench was too small to accommodate all of them.

People have problems in this world. It’s no joke. Yet I there was on a silly mission to seduce a pastor. A little guilt munched away on me.. But hey? The bible tells us to love ourselves first right?

Pastor Rebecca stood up, shook my hand and smiled before asking me to sit. What a woman of God. She was about five foot seven, with short, frizzy hair and a marshmallow body. I loved the site of her.

“So tell me your problem young man” she hissed out like a speaker playing humba music

Young man? Did she just call me young man? She was only 28. That’s what she told the congregation on Sunday.

It’s always a bad thing when a lady you are trying to hit on perceives you as young. Most women pretend to value maturity so when you don’t appear mature physically, you have to portray it intellectually.

I told Pastor Rebecca how I was the first born in our family (I am actually the fourth) and how I wanted to change my younger siblings who were not being responsible with their lives

“I want my younger sister to be just like you when she grows up” I said.

I didn’t stop there.
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You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

Impunity
#3 Posted : Tuesday, February 23, 2016 4:06:41 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,331
Location: Masada
I kept mixing compliments to her with emotional challenges of my own in order to soften her up. She was impressed but she stayed professional, or rather spiritual. It looked like she wasn’t going to buy into my vibe.

I was aware of everything I said as my mouth moved, conjuring up all the pickup lines I could come up with. What was different about pastor Rebecca was that none seemed to be working. I just couldn’t reach what I call the ‘hook point’, which is when a woman you’ve approached decides she enjoys your company and doesn’t want you to leave. Though I sat just a few feet away from the gorgeous preacher, a mile-wide chasm separated us.

But I am a persistent little brat. I pride myself in being a provocateur. I was not going to give up. I had to come up with something new

“I have another problem,” I said

“What’s it?” she asked

“Do you think masturbation is a sin?”

I was going all in now

“Yes….are you addicted to masturbation?”
“Not really…I had stayed for years without masturbation. The last time I did it, I was while I was in high school. But this past Sunday, as I was driving home in my BMW, I kept having impure thoughts about you. Then when I got to home, I grabbed some Vaseline and I found myself it. “

Pastor Rebecca was stunned.
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You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

tycho
#4 Posted : Tuesday, February 23, 2016 4:16:27 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
I was waiting to see the first use of 'spiritual' here...
Impunity
#5 Posted : Tuesday, February 23, 2016 4:22:49 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,331
Location: Masada
tycho wrote:
I was waiting to see the first use of 'spiritual' here...


Coming up shortly!

Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

Impunity
#6 Posted : Tuesday, February 23, 2016 4:26:59 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,331
Location: Masada
....The shock in her face was shocking in itself. This was a ‘high risk, high reward or deep failure kind of scenario. Things were either going to go very well or very bad....
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

masukuma
#7 Posted : Tuesday, February 23, 2016 4:51:12 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/4/2006
Posts: 13,823
Location: Nairobi
bwana welder - si u just link us to the Ghafla post that you are copying from? Ama unadhani we cannot copy from here and paste on Google to find out kule unaCopy paste from? Some of us have already finished reading the story!
All Mushrooms are edible! Some Mushroom are only edible ONCE!
Julie
#8 Posted : Tuesday, February 23, 2016 4:52:40 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 12/2/2006
Posts: 658
Keep going.......
Impunity
#9 Posted : Tuesday, February 23, 2016 4:58:23 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,331
Location: Masada
masukuma wrote:
bwana welder - si u just link us to the Ghafla post that you are copying from? Ama unadhani we cannot copy from here and paste on Google to find out kule unaCopy paste from? Some of us have already finished reading the story!


Utamu wa njugu ni kurusha moja moja ndani ya mdomo.
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

washiku
#10 Posted : Tuesday, February 23, 2016 5:08:59 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
masukuma wrote:
bwana welder - si u just link us to the Ghafla post that you are copying from? Ama unadhani we cannot copy from here and paste on Google to find out kule unaCopy paste from? Some of us have already finished reading the story!



Damn...and I was here wondering how well Impunity can write. His writing was painted all over with someone with a proffesional SEO touch. Kumbe...
Impunity
#11 Posted : Tuesday, February 23, 2016 5:14:46 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,331
Location: Masada
washiku wrote:
masukuma wrote:
bwana welder - si u just link us to the Ghafla post that you are copying from? Ama unadhani we cannot copy from here and paste on Google to find out kule unaCopy paste from? Some of us have already finished reading the story!



Damn...and I was here wondering how well Impunity can write. His writing was painted all over with someone with a proffesional SEO touch. Kumbe...



Somebody say Amen?
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

Baratang
#12 Posted : Tuesday, February 23, 2016 5:19:57 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 10/6/2009
Posts: 587
Impunity wrote:
washiku wrote:
masukuma wrote:
bwana welder - si u just link us to the Ghafla post that you are copying from? Ama unadhani we cannot copy from here and paste on Google to find out kule unaCopy paste from? Some of us have already finished reading the story!



Damn...and I was here wondering how well Impunity can write. His writing was painted all over with someone with a proffesional SEO touch. Kumbe...



Somebody say Amen?

@Welder, si hata afadhari ungetafuta huyu jamaa anayeitwa Kaiganjo akuandikie story yako original. Ingeuza.
washiku
#13 Posted : Tuesday, February 23, 2016 5:28:49 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Baratang wrote:
Impunity wrote:
washiku wrote:
masukuma wrote:
bwana welder - si u just link us to the Ghafla post that you are copying from? Ama unadhani we cannot copy from here and paste on Google to find out kule unaCopy paste from? Some of us have already finished reading the story!



Damn...and I was here wondering how well Impunity can write. His writing was painted all over with someone with a proffesional SEO touch. Kumbe...



Somebody say Amen?

@Welder, si hata afadhari ungetafuta huyu jamaa anayeitwa Kaiganjo akuandikie story yako original. Ingeuza.


The writing style was too perfect to be from Impunity. Not more than four sentences per paragraph. Use of imagery here and there...
masukuma
#14 Posted : Tuesday, February 23, 2016 5:52:57 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/4/2006
Posts: 13,823
Location: Nairobi
washiku wrote:
Baratang wrote:
Impunity wrote:
washiku wrote:
masukuma wrote:
bwana welder - si u just link us to the Ghafla post that you are copying from? Ama unadhani we cannot copy from here and paste on Google to find out kule unaCopy paste from? Some of us have already finished reading the story!



Damn...and I was here wondering how well Impunity can write. His writing was painted all over with someone with a proffesional SEO touch. Kumbe...



Somebody say Amen?

@Welder, si hata afadhari ungetafuta huyu jamaa anayeitwa Kaiganjo akuandikie story yako original. Ingeuza.


The writing style was too perfect to be from Impunity. Not more than four sentences per paragraph. Use of imagery here and there...

I smelt a rat at corinth! and copy pasted the thing on Google and read the rest.
All Mushrooms are edible! Some Mushroom are only edible ONCE!
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