A week ago, katika mishe mishe zangu za hapa na pale, i met a lady who was seated and crying somewhere on a bench in a building in Dar Es Salaam. Being humane, i approached her and asked her what was crying and she told me that she had been mugged.....her stuff stolen.....she was stranded.....no money, no food, no place to stay......luckily her phone was in the bra so haikuibiwa........blah blah blahh!!

Lemme cut the long story short, though if you want the full version i will narrate. I offered my help, free of charge, without requesting for clearance to land my Airbus A380! at times the Airbus has to just remain in the sky and not make an attempt to land.

After two three days, the girl opened up to me as i made her feel so comfortable. She is a graduate of Makerere University and undertook her Masters at Bristol University. She had proof for all these, infact her online student portal at Bristol is still active. She was employed at Citibank somewhere in London for 1.5 years but later on quit after being introduced to the social scene.

In summary, the gal relocated to Nairobi where she peddles her services, and am telling you it pays pretty well. The lady hangs out at Sankara, Ole Sereni, Hilton, Panaris, Intercontinental, Sarova Stanley, Villa Rosa Kempinski and all the poshiest hotels in town. she hangs out purposefully to net the big fish in the society.

She proved to me through pics, videos and lots of other stuff how she spends nights at Villa Rosa, Intercon, Hilton with the who and whos in the society. Most of her clients are politicians and businessmen on business visits to Kenya. She sleeps with people so big in teh society that i was shocked! she showed me a pic of her and her friend having a threesome with a certain MP from Luo Nyanza!!!!!! In another encounter she showed me pics of their journey from Wilson to the Rift Valley Lodge in Naivasha using a chartered helicopter with some stinking rich Indian guy!!

Her worth: white guyz including Indians: USD. 1000 per night on the lowest side

blacks, like akina muheshimiwa, 50K per night!!!

And suprisingly, she says whites and our honorables pay the much without feeling overstretched!!

So on Friday, i took her to a club called Sea Cliff, where the party goers are 90% whites and told her to try her luck there she might be successful. I felt out of place being surrounded by whites all over, i left her...i dint hear from her her for 4 days therefater, on the 5th day, ananitumia picha ako kwa Etihad Airways na mzungu mzee sana!! destination...unknown!!

I dint know that landing is such a costly affair and employer!!!

Technically, that makes youa pimp...Kama ulimchukua kwa club to hook up! Themoment she sends you a ka loose $100, Kamiti pap! Living of the proceeeds...

A mugging in Dar.
A lady with a masters degree from a European university, worked for a global financial institution at the world's second financial capital and one of the most sophisticated cities, London -yet, still backward enough to stash her phone in a bra.
..And finally, being helpless, cashless and homeless despite having a phone, apparently being loaded from all the whoring and having lived in Nairobi, the world capital of mobile money.
Implausible story in its current form, entertaining nonetheless.
Unless the crying and helplessness is for reeling in targets.

@Paperchaser, Ever tried writing a @Mwalimu Andrew' equivalent for the Nation? Kenya's got talent here...