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At the cross road
westkate
#1 Posted : Wednesday, November 11, 2015 10:24:56 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 5/3/2014
Posts: 133
Location: nairobi
am not sure which way to go but i need a quick solution.

my spouse is having private chats and phone conversation and i have been monitoring them 24/7 which to me suggest something might be not oky as this is done from monday to friday. weekend they call it family hell days No phone calls or chats at all.comes monday when am off to work they are together online and on phone.At some point they discuss cash and then love but so far no done deal yet . when i read all the conversation online i tend to believe something is being cooked and i feel like to act before its too late. but am short of the formulae . who should i attack first and when and how.what will be the consequences of this .my spouse or the other person. I feel very bad and when i see my spouse i feel like puking when i know whats going behind the scenes ,however i don't want to disclose to them that i know whats going on. i need to safe the sinking boat but if i act without proper advice ,I swear someone will join elijah, and other ancestors who went before us and then i get a ticket to kamiti maximam prison or shimo latewa for ever.
Kusadikika
#2 Posted : Wednesday, November 11, 2015 11:25:09 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/22/2008
Posts: 2,716
Do no harm!! Do no harm...... I think you should disclose what you know to your spouse and then hear the other side of the story but whatever you do usiumize mtu..
hardwood
#3 Posted : Thursday, November 12, 2015 12:43:41 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/28/2015
Posts: 9,562
Location: Rodi Kopany, Homa Bay
Interrogate yourself and find out where you have failed or gone wrong to make your better half wander elsewhere. A man will always wander if he doesnt get what he wants at home. And note that you can never force someone to love you. Love and trust are built srore by srore. Harming someone wont help your situation. Instead of being a sleuth, why dont you spend that time being a good wife so that you can "cokia ruui mukaro"?
Tokyo
#4 Posted : Thursday, November 12, 2015 3:35:42 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 10/9/2006
Posts: 1,502
Move out and never look back. Why do people never learn?
work to prosper
tycho
#5 Posted : Thursday, November 12, 2015 5:34:57 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
Such a case is a symptom of minds that are not well trained, and stunted spirituality. Even if the man gets the other woman, there's a great likelihood that all will end up the same way as now. If the wife leaves him, there's no guarantee that life will be any better for her. It's a lose-lose situation.

The solution involves seeking enlightenment and enduring and transforming the situation as it is. How to do that is a matter determined by the spiritual hunger and effort you are willing to exert, and the training available. Getting help from a professional counselor may be a good place to start since he/she will help you open your mind to the dynamics of your relationship and you'll be able to make better decisions.

A pet theory for me in such cases is 'object relations'. Here one gets to explore how a person chooses a spouse, the roles that he/she projects on the spouse, the responses elicited, the emergent needs and the like. That way behavior can be mapped and even altered. But that's just a start. But a good start in a life long journey.
Rollins
#6 Posted : Thursday, November 12, 2015 7:06:29 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 3/23/2011
Posts: 503
hardwood wrote:
Interrogate yourself and find out where you have failed or gone wrong to make your better half wander elsewhere. A man will always wander if he doesnt get what he wants at home. And note that you can never force someone to love you. Love and trust are built srore by srore. Harming someone wont help your situation. Instead of being a sleuth, why dont you spend that time being a good wife so that you can "cokia ruui mukaro"?

Unless you know westkate, how did you decide the other spouse is s He?
Even a BrOKeN clock is right twice a day
Swenani
#7 Posted : Thursday, November 12, 2015 9:10:24 AM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,237
Location: Vacuum
Rollins wrote:
hardwood wrote:
Interrogate yourself and find out where you have failed or gone wrong to make your better half wander elsewhere. A man will always wander if he doesnt get what he wants at home. And note that you can never force someone to love you. Love and trust are built srore by srore. Harming someone wont help your situation. Instead of being a sleuth, why dont you spend that time being a good wife so that you can "cokia ruui mukaro"?

Unless you know westkate, how did you decide the other spouse is s He?



How do you know the other spouse is not a he?
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
Mtafiti
#8 Posted : Thursday, November 12, 2015 9:23:41 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 5/22/2014
Posts: 321
Location: Ndeiya
If your concern is true, whatever action you take will have long lasting consequences in opposite ends. Go @Kusadikika's way.
majimaji
#9 Posted : Thursday, November 12, 2015 9:36:46 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 4/4/2007
Posts: 1,162

act now. show them the evidence.
Lolest!
#10 Posted : Thursday, November 12, 2015 9:41:08 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,069
Location: Kianjokoma
Swenani wrote:
Rollins wrote:
hardwood wrote:
Interrogate yourself and find out where you have failed or gone wrong to make your better half wander elsewhere. A man will always wander if he doesnt get what he wants at home. And note that you can never force someone to love you. Love and trust are built srore by srore. Harming someone wont help your situation. Instead of being a sleuth, why dont you spend that time being a good wife so that you can "cokia ruui mukaro"?

Unless you know westkate, how did you decide the other spouse is s He?



How do you know the other spouse is not a he?

Sounds like westkate is a man. Or are there female inmates in Kamiti & Shimo La Tewa?
westkate wrote:
I swear someone will join elijah, and other ancestors who went before us and then i get a ticket to kamiti maximam prison or shimo latewa for ever.

Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
Swenani
#11 Posted : Thursday, November 12, 2015 9:46:04 AM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,237
Location: Vacuum
Lolest! wrote:
Swenani wrote:
Rollins wrote:
hardwood wrote:
Interrogate yourself and find out where you have failed or gone wrong to make your better half wander elsewhere. A man will always wander if he doesnt get what he wants at home. And note that you can never force someone to love you. Love and trust are built srore by srore. Harming someone wont help your situation. Instead of being a sleuth, why dont you spend that time being a good wife so that you can "cokia ruui mukaro"?

Unless you know westkate, how did you decide the other spouse is s He?



How do you know the other spouse is not a he?

Sounds like westkate is a man. Or are there female inmates in Kamiti & Shimo La Tewa?
westkate wrote:
I swear someone will join elijah, and other ancestors who went before us and then i get a ticket to kamiti maximam prison or shimo latewa for ever.



She can't be a man,if she was a man, she wouldn't come to wazua
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
Impunity
#12 Posted : Thursday, November 12, 2015 10:36:51 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,330
Location: Masada
Share your contacts madam @westkate!
All will be well.
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

Impunity
#13 Posted : Thursday, November 12, 2015 10:44:49 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,330
Location: Masada
Swenani wrote:
Lolest! wrote:
Swenani wrote:
Rollins wrote:
hardwood wrote:
Interrogate yourself and find out where you have failed or gone wrong to make your better half wander elsewhere. A man will always wander if he doesnt get what he wants at home. And note that you can never force someone to love you. Love and trust are built srore by srore. Harming someone wont help your situation. Instead of being a sleuth, why dont you spend that time being a good wife so that you can "cokia ruui mukaro"?

Unless you know westkate, how did you decide the other spouse is s He?



How do you know the other spouse is not a he?

Sounds like westkate is a man. Or are there female inmates in Kamiti & Shimo La Tewa?
westkate wrote:
I swear someone will join elijah, and other ancestors who went before us and then i get a ticket to kamiti maximam prison or shimo latewa for ever.



She can't be a man,if she was a man, she wouldn't come to wazua


She is a She, check this Rink
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

Jump-steady
#14 Posted : Thursday, November 12, 2015 11:55:05 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 12/1/2008
Posts: 1,098
Rollins wrote:
hardwood wrote:
Interrogate yourself and find out where you have failed or gone wrong to make your better half wander elsewhere. A man will always wander if he doesnt get what he wants at home. And note that you can never force someone to love you. Love and trust are built srore by srore. Harming someone wont help your situation. Instead of being a sleuth, why dont you spend that time being a good wife so that you can "cokia ruui mukaro"?

Unless you know westkate, how did you decide the other spouse is s He?



But whatever the gender, @hardwood has laid out the problem well for @westkate to ponder about.
westkate
#15 Posted : Thursday, November 12, 2015 12:16:07 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 5/3/2014
Posts: 133
Location: nairobi
GUYS am wondering why you have a concern about the gender . to clarify and be honest am a she married and in trouble. the reason i ask for help is because i have a nice job and i love my guy so much and i want a lasting relationship. but why are you afraid of letting me harm this fu...k hell who is determined to destroy my hand earned relationship.ow them the evidence is going to stop them . or should i hire goons to do the necessary and close the chapter . why do people engage in this hell knowing very well in this world there is no secrets at all. no matter how smart you are be care full za mwizi ni 40 still waiting for more ingestion from this profesional wazua forum
desparate mama.
if i sh
ZZE123
#16 Posted : Thursday, November 12, 2015 12:29:18 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/21/2008
Posts: 2,490
westkate wrote:
am not sure which way to go but i need a quick solution.

my spouse is having private chats and phone conversation and i have been monitoring them 24/7 which to me suggest something might be not oky as this is done from monday to friday. weekend they call it family hell days No phone calls or chats at all.comes monday when am off to work they are together online and on phone.At some point they discuss cash and then love but so far no done deal yet . when i read all the conversation online i tend to believe something is being cooked and i feel like to act before its too late. but am short of the formulae . who should i attack first and when and how.what will be the consequences of this .my spouse or the other person. I feel very bad and when i see my spouse i feel like puking when i know whats going behind the scenes ,however i don't want to disclose to them that i know whats going on. i need to safe the sinking boat but if i act without proper advice ,I swear someone will join elijah, and other ancestors who went before us and then i get a ticket to kamiti maximam prison or shimo latewa for ever.

Someone urgently educate me. How is it possible to monitor chats and phone calls and how can I prevent itPray Pray Pray Pray Pray Pray
The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem
Liv
#17 Posted : Thursday, November 12, 2015 12:56:50 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/14/2006
Posts: 1,311
westkate wrote:
GUYS am wondering why you have a concern about the gender . to clarify and be honest am a she married and in trouble. the reason i ask for help is because i have a nice job and i love my guy so much and i want a lasting relationship. but why are you afraid of letting me harm this fu...k hell who is determined to destroy my hand earned relationship.ow them the evidence is going to stop them . or should i hire goons to do the necessary and close the chapter . why do people engage in this hell knowing very well in this world there is no secrets at all. no matter how smart you are be care full za mwizi ni 40 still waiting for more ingestion from this profesional wazua forum
desparate mama.
if i sh



Why do some people think it is possible to kill another human being and continue living normally?

Your life will never be the same after that whether you are caught or not. The number of years between your death and that of your victim become insignificantly small. If the law doesn't come after you, other things will.... Stress, disease, madness, etc will catch up with you. If you live longer after that, it will be a dogs life.

You will eventually lose whatever you are trying to protect.

It is LOVE not hate (hate is equated to murder) that will solve your problems. Anything else, will destroy you and your children completely.
Othelo
#18 Posted : Thursday, November 12, 2015 1:04:33 PM
Rank: User


Joined: 1/20/2014
Posts: 3,528
I guy i know who is alledged to have killed and murdered many is currently in 90s and is strong and still enjoying life!!!!
Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune - Jim Rohn.
Liv
#19 Posted : Thursday, November 12, 2015 1:20:12 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/14/2006
Posts: 1,311
Othelo wrote:
I guy i know who is alledged to have killed and murdered many is currently in 90s and is strong and still enjoying life!!!!


How long have you known him and how old are you?
sheri
#20 Posted : Thursday, November 12, 2015 1:49:32 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 4/11/2007
Posts: 694
westkate wrote:
GUYS am wondering why you have a concern about the gender . to clarify and be honest am a she married and in trouble. the reason i ask for help is because i have a nice job and i love my guy so much and i want a lasting relationship. but why are you afraid of letting me harm this fu...k hell who is determined to destroy my hand earned relationship.ow them the evidence is going to stop them . or should i hire goons to do the necessary and close the chapter . why do people engage in this hell knowing very well in this world there is no secrets at all. no matter how smart you are be care full za mwizi ni 40 still waiting for more ingestion from this profesional wazua forum
desparate mama.
if i sh

@ Westake I feel you my sister. Be sober when dealing with the issue otherwise men are different species.
i. A nice job I hope you don't keep on reminding him that you have a good job and you can take care of yourself every time you have an argument.
ii.i love my guy so much and i want a lasting relationship Do you love the guy more than you love yourself? Rule no. 1 Love yourself first, then your kids and him last.
iii.but why are you afraid of letting me harm this fu...k hell who is determined to destroy my hand earned relationship Chances are that your husband is the one who approached this lady first. So why harm the lady?
iv. Unless you want to join NSIS stop hii mambo ya investigations. What you don't know will not harm you.
v. Finally as you continue sharing with more ladies you will realize you have seen nothing yet. Marriage ni kuvumilia.
I wish you all the best

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