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The Pain of being a Kenyan in diaspora
Lolest!
#1 Posted : Sunday, June 07, 2015 6:15:21 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,069
Location: Kianjokoma
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly true but funny!!

Quote:
A Kenyan woman in Doha, Qatar has launched a video blasting Kenyans back at home who are always asking her for money to go for outings. The woman named Maureen Wanjiku posted the video on Facebook saying that the same Kenyans asking her for money are the same ones saying that Kenyan women in the Gulf are selling themselves for money. She decries the mentality that Kenyans living abroad have a smooth ride.
She also says that now that she is abroad, Kenyans who used to call her Kimaureen and Kiwanjiku now have changed the tune to calling her “babe”, “mrembo” Msupa” and all the niceties that come along with it just to get something from her.


watch video on link

http://www.jambonewspot....r-for-money-for-outings/
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
vky
#2 Posted : Sunday, June 07, 2015 9:52:14 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 6/17/2010
Posts: 572
[quote=Lolest!]Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly true but funny!!

Quote:
A Kenyan woman in Doha, Qatar has launched a video blasting Kenyans back at home who are always asking her for money to go for outings. The woman named Maureen Wanjiku posted the video on Facebook saying that the same Kenyans asking her for money are the same ones saying that Kenyan women in the Gulf are selling themselves for money. She decries the mentality that Kenyans living abroad have a smooth ride.
She also says that now that she is abroad, Kenyans who used to call her Kimaureen and Kiwanjiku now have changed the tune to calling her “babe”, “mrembo” Msupa” and all the niceties that come along with it just to get something from her.


watch video on link

http://www.jambonewspot....-for-money-for-outings/[/quote]
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly chlorox (sp) ni nini
'One headache for famous medieval holy people was that someone might murder you to acquire your body parts for the relics trade'
kysse
#3 Posted : Sunday, June 07, 2015 10:39:19 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 1/17/2013
Posts: 4,693
Location: Earth



Yaani Lol-lest...Kweli wazuans mko everywhere.

Kiash Spoke.
Wajiru wa chlorox has spoken.
xxx will soon speak

One Word for you all- Back off!.Laughing out loudly
Swenani
#4 Posted : Sunday, June 07, 2015 11:16:52 AM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,237
Location: Vacuum
kysse wrote:
Yaani Lol-lest...Kweli wazuans mko everywhere.

Kiash Spoke.
Wajiru wa chlorox has spoken.
xxx will soon speak

One Word for you all- Back off!.Laughing out loudly



Kikysse
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
harrydre
#5 Posted : Sunday, June 07, 2015 6:06:27 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/10/2008
Posts: 9,131
Location: Kanjo
Swenani wrote:
kysse wrote:
Yaani Lol-lest...Kweli wazuans mko everywhere.

Kiash Spoke.
Wajiru wa chlorox has spoken.
xxx will soon speak

One Word for you all- Back off!.Laughing out loudly



Kikysse


Ms Kiash has spoken! Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly funny! What are those on her blouse? they look like giant pegs Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

but she has a point. this thread fits into the "African Curse thread"
i.am.back!!!!
Lolest!
#6 Posted : Sunday, June 07, 2015 6:09:57 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,069
Location: Kianjokoma
haiya @kyses, hii chlorex ni ya kubleach? Kwani being lighter changes one from Kiwanjiku to kasupuu?
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
kysse
#7 Posted : Sunday, June 07, 2015 10:11:56 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 1/17/2013
Posts: 4,693
Location: Earth
Lolest! wrote:
haiya @kyses, hii chlorex ni ya kubleach? Kwani being lighter changes one from Kiwanjiku to kasupuu?


Hii chlorox ni ya kufanya #parasites# wawe mbeautiful.smile
Those who used to call her kiwajikuLaughing out loudly Laughing out loudly have been advised to use it to become supuus.

@ harrydre,those are giant pegs used to hang her words online.See she had come from hanging clothes,stolen her boss' phone to record this cz she uses kabambe.
And you dare ask her to buy you a samsung.
I like her.
washiku
#8 Posted : Sunday, June 07, 2015 11:34:14 PM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Stop "mallying" me.

Gulf ti gwa cuguo. Nonsense. Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Wah
Rankaz13
#9 Posted : Monday, June 08, 2015 12:06:24 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
washiku wrote:
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Stop "mallying" me.

Gulf ti gwa cuguo. Nonsense. Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Wah


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Lolest!
#10 Posted : Monday, June 08, 2015 12:07:45 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,069
Location: Kianjokoma
Kimaureeni coz amesema tusimsifu

Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
UpcomingPaperChaser
#11 Posted : Monday, June 08, 2015 8:21:06 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 1/20/2015
Posts: 489
Location: Nairobi
I dont live in Kenya, sijui kama TZ qualifies to be called Disapora. But there are many problems of living away from home.

1. Communication: being Kenyan, you are accustomed to sheng and English. You can talk freely as you want but whoever you are talking with will understand you very loud and clear. Here speaking anything not fluent Swahili betrays you and makes you prone to unnecessary public attention. Nobody to speak Kalenjin to here.

2. Phone calls from home: When you live far from your relatives and friends, everytime a phone call comes, you start shivering as the news could be bad, meaning that your friend or relative is gone. Mother's calls are the only ones without any suspicion.

3. Basic items: things here have so many different names, you can take several minutes in a shop trying to explain what you want. Things like Jik, Omo, Panga Soap, queen cakes, and other foods have very indigenous names that can at times suck to remember.

4. Being in a poorer country than Kenya, everyone you meet here thinks you are so rich, yet you are 'just rich' (Ujaluo itatuuua). Yeah its true, our currency is stronger but that does not mean that i will give out money. Meet any girl and your language betrays you, wanaingia box tu coz you can afford to take her out and buy her countless number of beers and afford her the luxury of a taxi, which is abt Kshs.200 on average!!

5. Miss dem days of encountering ratchet girls back at home, Nakuru 10s, Masaku 7s and Safcom 7s. Niggas here only know soccer and its a men's only affair. How boring!

6. Reality, nimemiss jam sana manze, jam ya Thika Road from All Sops at 6:50 all the way to town. Here people do not have an idea of what traffic jam is, Dar though, traffic is terrible than even Nairobi. With those guys selling sweets in the buses, i used to buy them, not because i chew gum but juu i pittied them a lot.

7. Kenyan beauties: miss dem a lot. Kenyan chics are nice, literate, civilized, stylish and very hardworking. Here chics are so pretty but very illiterate and uncivilized. You meet a very pretty chic, she doesnt even know where Johhanesburg is, she doesnt know the capital of Ethiopia, she has never heard of a country called Eritrea or Djibouti. However pretty you are but you are dumb kwangu ni kwaheri ya kuonana. To them the husband works n provides as she pigas gumzo mtaani with friends. the learned ones sparingly understand English. Wanabore sana.

8. Driving a good car here gives you some unnecessary attention, especially from ladies who are always more than willing to be offered lifts, unlike in Nairobi where you can drive a range rover and no one, even the boda boda man, gives a f***!! As a result all the time am driving, roll up tinted windows to avoid women begging for lifts!

9. Chapati, madondo na avocado.
Enjoy every moment of your life, you never know when your time will come.
Wamunyota
#12 Posted : Monday, June 08, 2015 8:30:22 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 6/23/2014
Posts: 1,652
Rankaz13 wrote:
washiku wrote:
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Stop "mallying" me.

Gulf ti gwa cuguo. Nonsense. Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Wah


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Hutia Mundu!!
Wamunyota
#13 Posted : Monday, June 08, 2015 8:33:08 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 6/23/2014
Posts: 1,652
Lolest! wrote:
Kimaureeni coz amesema tusimsifu


Drool Drool Drool
Hutia Mundu!!
Swenani
#14 Posted : Monday, June 08, 2015 9:02:38 AM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,237
Location: Vacuum
UpcomingPaperChaser wrote:
I dont live in Kenya, sijui kama TZ qualifies to be called Disapora. But there are many problems of living away from home.

1. Communication: being Kenyan, you are accustomed to sheng and English. You can talk freely as you want but whoever you are talking with will understand you very loud and clear. Here speaking anything not fluent Swahili betrays you and makes you prone to unnecessary public attention. Nobody to speak Kalenjin to here.

2. Phone calls from home: When you live far from your relatives and friends, everytime a phone call comes, you start shivering as the news could be bad, meaning that your friend or relative is gone. Mother's calls are the only ones without any suspicion.

3. Basic items: things here have so many different names, you can take several minutes in a shop trying to explain what you want. Things like Jik, Omo, Panga Soap, queen cakes, and other foods have very indigenous names that can at times suck to remember.

4. Being in a poorer country than Kenya, everyone you meet here thinks you are so rich, yet you are 'just rich' (Ujaluo itatuuua). Yeah its true, our currency is stronger but that does not mean that i will give out money. Meet any girl and your language betrays you, wanaingia box tu coz you can afford to take her out and buy her countless number of beers and afford her the luxury of a taxi, which is abt Kshs.200 on average!!

5. Miss dem days of encountering ratchet girls back at home, Nakuru 10s, Masaku 7s and Safcom 7s. Niggas here only know soccer and its a men's only affair. How boring!

6. Reality, nimemiss jam sana manze, jam ya Thika Road from All Sops at 6:50 all the way to town. Here people do not have an idea of what traffic jam is, Dar though, traffic is terrible than even Nairobi. With those guys selling sweets in the buses, i used to buy them, not because i chew gum but juu i pittied them a lot.

7. Kenyan beauties: miss dem a lot. Kenyan chics are nice, literate, civilized, stylish and very hardworking. Here chics are so pretty but very illiterate and uncivilized. You meet a very pretty chic, she doesnt even know where Johhanesburg is, she doesnt know the capital of Ethiopia, she has never heard of a country called Eritrea or Djibouti. However pretty you are but you are dumb kwangu ni kwaheri ya kuonana. To them the husband works n provides as she pigas gumzo mtaani with friends. the learned ones sparingly understand English. Wanabore sana.

8. Driving a good car here gives you some unnecessary attention, especially from ladies who are always more than willing to be offered lifts, unlike in Nairobi where you can drive a range rover and no one, even the boda boda man, gives a f***!! As a result all the time am driving, roll up tinted windows to avoid women begging for lifts!

9. Chapati, madondo na avocado.



You were young and innocent just the other day before you got a job...sasa umeharibika
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
Wamunyota
#15 Posted : Monday, June 08, 2015 9:09:39 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 6/23/2014
Posts: 1,652
Swenani wrote:
UpcomingPaperChaser wrote:
I dont live in Kenya, sijui kama TZ qualifies to be called Disapora. But there are many problems of living away from home.

1. Communication: being Kenyan, you are accustomed to sheng and English. You can talk freely as you want but whoever you are talking with will understand you very loud and clear. Here speaking anything not fluent Swahili betrays you and makes you prone to unnecessary public attention. Nobody to speak Kalenjin to here.

2. Phone calls from home: When you live far from your relatives and friends, everytime a phone call comes, you start shivering as the news could be bad, meaning that your friend or relative is gone. Mother's calls are the only ones without any suspicion.

3. Basic items: things here have so many different names, you can take several minutes in a shop trying to explain what you want. Things like Jik, Omo, Panga Soap, queen cakes, and other foods have very indigenous names that can at times suck to remember.

4. Being in a poorer country than Kenya, everyone you meet here thinks you are so rich, yet you are 'just rich' (Ujaluo itatuuua). Yeah its true, our currency is stronger but that does not mean that i will give out money. Meet any girl and your language betrays you, wanaingia box tu coz you can afford to take her out and buy her countless number of beers and afford her the luxury of a taxi, which is abt Kshs.200 on average!!

5. Miss dem days of encountering ratchet girls back at home, Nakuru 10s, Masaku 7s and Safcom 7s. Niggas here only know soccer and its a men's only affair. How boring!

6. Reality, nimemiss jam sana manze, jam ya Thika Road from All Sops at 6:50 all the way to town. Here people do not have an idea of what traffic jam is, Dar though, traffic is terrible than even Nairobi. With those guys selling sweets in the buses, i used to buy them, not because i chew gum but juu i pittied them a lot.

7. Kenyan beauties: miss dem a lot. Kenyan chics are nice, literate, civilized, stylish and very hardworking. Here chics are so pretty but very illiterate and uncivilized. You meet a very pretty chic, she doesnt even know where Johhanesburg is, she doesnt know the capital of Ethiopia, she has never heard of a country called Eritrea or Djibouti. However pretty you are but you are dumb kwangu ni kwaheri ya kuonana. To them the husband works n provides as she pigas gumzo mtaani with friends. the learned ones sparingly understand English. Wanabore sana.

8. Driving a good car here gives you some unnecessary attention, especially from ladies who are always more than willing to be offered lifts, unlike in Nairobi where you can drive a range rover and no one, even the boda boda man, gives a f***!! As a result all the time am driving, roll up tinted windows to avoid women begging for lifts!

9. Chapati, madondo na avocado.



You were young and innocent just the other day before you got a job...sasa umeharibika

Kiyana ameenda mayuu.
Hutia Mundu!!
washiku
#16 Posted : Monday, June 08, 2015 9:14:03 AM
Rank: Chief


Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
UpcomingPaperChaser wrote:


3. Basic items: things here have so many different names, you can take several minutes in a shop trying to explain what you want. Things like Jik, Omo, Panga Soap, queen cakes, and other foods have very indigenous names that can at times suck to remember.


Jik na Omo ni chakula pia hukod'oh! d'oh! Pray Pray
Coolbull
#17 Posted : Monday, June 08, 2015 9:23:44 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 10/23/2007
Posts: 604
[quote=UpcomingPaperChaser]As a result all the time am driving, roll up tinted windows to avoid women begging for lifts...

God bless you for not giving in to fornication/adultery (depending on your marital status). There is nothing as enticing as women throwing themselves at you. I once travelled to Kakamega to do an IT job, basic stuff but I almost came back with a wife. The same happened in Kinangop....sema ku-rub-iwa nyonyo kwa shoulder in the name of following something on the screen as I explained.

I thank God I resisted coz hiyo ni ile unapewa na ukimaliza unafungiwa upeleke nyumbani.
Wamunyota
#18 Posted : Monday, June 08, 2015 9:29:23 AM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 6/23/2014
Posts: 1,652
Coolbull wrote:
[quote=UpcomingPaperChaser]As a result all the time am driving, roll up tinted windows to avoid women begging for lifts...

God bless you for not giving in to fornication/adultery (depending on your marital status). There is nothing as enticing as women throwing themselves at you. I once travelled to Kakamega to do an IT job, basic stuff but I almost came back with a wife. The same happened in Kinangop....sema ku-rub-iwa nyonyo kwa shoulder in the name of following something on the screen as I explained.

I thank God I resisted coz hiyo ni ile unapewa na ukimaliza unafungiwa upeleke nyumbani.

Wewe Bull acha kuniangusha.A bull should do what a bull is required to do.Kwa nini unaacha watu na kiu?Shame on you Shame on you
Hutia Mundu!!
Swenani
#19 Posted : Monday, June 08, 2015 9:34:05 AM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,237
Location: Vacuum
Wamunyota wrote:
Coolbull wrote:
[quote=UpcomingPaperChaser]As a result all the time am driving, roll up tinted windows to avoid women begging for lifts...

God bless you for not giving in to fornication/adultery (depending on your marital status). There is nothing as enticing as women throwing themselves at you. I once travelled to Kakamega to do an IT job, basic stuff but I almost came back with a wife. The same happened in Kinangop....sema ku-rub-iwa nyonyo kwa shoulder in the name of following something on the screen as I explained.

I thank God I resisted coz hiyo ni ile unapewa na ukimaliza unafungiwa upeleke nyumbani.

Wewe Bull acha kuniangusha.A bull should do what a bull is required to do.Kwa nini unaacha watu na kiu?Shame on you Shame on you



He will burn in hell,He is such selfish bull

Luke 11:10-12

Quote:
For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened. 11"Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? 12"Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
Njung'e
#20 Posted : Monday, June 08, 2015 10:32:13 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/7/2007
Posts: 11,935
Location: Nairobi
Wamunyota wrote:
Coolbull wrote:
[quote=UpcomingPaperChaser]As a result all the time am driving, roll up tinted windows to avoid women begging for lifts...

God bless you for not giving in to fornication/adultery (depending on your marital status). There is nothing as enticing as women throwing themselves at you. I once travelled to Kakamega to do an IT job, basic stuff but I almost came back with a wife. The same happened in Kinangop....sema ku-rub-iwa nyonyo kwa shoulder in the name of following something on the screen as I explained.

I thank God I resisted coz hiyo ni ile unapewa na ukimaliza unafungiwa upeleke nyumbani.

Wewe Bull acha kuniangusha.A bull should do what a bull is required to do.Kwa nini unaacha watu na kiu?Shame on you Shame on you



Substitute that with one word.Climbsmile
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
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