I dont live in Kenya, sijui kama TZ qualifies to be called Disapora. But there are many problems of living away from home.

1. Communication: being Kenyan, you are accustomed to sheng and English. You can talk freely as you want but whoever you are talking with will understand you very loud and clear. Here speaking anything not fluent Swahili betrays you and makes you prone to unnecessary public attention. Nobody to speak Kalenjin to here.

2. Phone calls from home: When you live far from your relatives and friends, everytime a phone call comes, you start shivering as the news could be bad, meaning that your friend or relative is gone. Mother's calls are the only ones without any suspicion.

3. Basic items: things here have so many different names, you can take several minutes in a shop trying to explain what you want. Things like Jik, Omo, Panga Soap, queen cakes, and other foods have very indigenous names that can at times suck to remember.

4. Being in a poorer country than Kenya, everyone you meet here thinks you are so rich, yet you are 'just rich' (Ujaluo itatuuua). Yeah its true, our currency is stronger but that does not mean that i will give out money. Meet any girl and your language betrays you, wanaingia box tu coz you can afford to take her out and buy her countless number of beers and afford her the luxury of a taxi, which is abt Kshs.200 on average!!

5. Miss dem days of encountering ratchet girls back at home, Nakuru 10s, Masaku 7s and Safcom 7s. Niggas here only know soccer and its a men's only affair. How boring!

6. Reality, nimemiss jam sana manze, jam ya Thika Road from All Sops at 6:50 all the way to town. Here people do not have an idea of what traffic jam is, Dar though, traffic is terrible than even Nairobi. With those guys selling sweets in the buses, i used to buy them, not because i chew gum but juu i pittied them a lot.

7. Kenyan beauties: miss dem a lot. Kenyan chics are nice, literate, civilized, stylish and very hardworking. Here chics are so pretty but very illiterate and uncivilized. You meet a very pretty chic, she doesnt even know where Johhanesburg is, she doesnt know the capital of Ethiopia, she has never heard of a country called Eritrea or Djibouti. However pretty you are but you are dumb kwangu ni kwaheri ya kuonana. To them the husband works n provides as she pigas gumzo mtaani with friends. the learned ones sparingly understand English. Wanabore sana.

8. Driving a good car here gives you some unnecessary attention, especially from ladies who are always more than willing to be offered lifts, unlike in Nairobi where you can drive a range rover and no one, even the boda boda man, gives a f***!! As a result all the time am driving, roll up tinted windows to avoid women begging for lifts!

9. Chapati, madondo na avocado.

Kiyana ameenda mayuu.

[quote=UpcomingPaperChaser]As a result all the time am driving, roll up tinted windows to avoid women begging for lifts...

God bless you for not giving in to fornication/adultery (depending on your marital status). There is nothing as enticing as women throwing themselves at you. I once travelled to Kakamega to do an IT job, basic stuff but I almost came back with a wife. The same happened in Kinangop....sema ku-rub-iwa nyonyo kwa shoulder in the name of following something on the screen as I explained.

I thank God I resisted coz hiyo ni ile unapewa na ukimaliza unafungiwa upeleke nyumbani.

He will burn in hell,He is such selfish bull

Luke 11:10-12