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Is this an African curse?
Rank: Veteran Joined: 5/5/2011 Posts: 1,059
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This needs to stop a guy (msinigeuzie) landed a KDF job a year ago, the last time I saw him he was under medication to treat depression, why because now that he has a job in jeshi his dad wants him to buy him a mguu kumi truck to carry material, the uncle wants a tractor with jembe, halo, turera, planter,the other uncle wants a pickup, another a 110 to be a taxi, the mum wants him to build her a house plus stima and water, the grandma wants him to marry ASAP and give her monthly allowance, 2 bros and 3 sisters wants to go college, and he has to pay the loan he used to pay his way to the job. weh now where do you even start, the salo is sijui 50k or something, you either get depression or just become kichwa ngumu. To Each His Own
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/22/2009 Posts: 7,838
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McReggae wrote:We are Africans folks, aceheni uchoyo ya mzungu!!! @ McReggae - Sio uchoyo. People should not feel entitled to your money. Help. By all means. But choose who to help. And they should know they are not entitled to it. They should actually work twice as hard as everyone else so that they can help someone else or themselves. Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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MaichBlack wrote:McReggae wrote:We are Africans folks, aceheni uchoyo ya mzungu!!! @ McReggae - Sio uchoyo. People should not feel entitled to your money. Help. By all means. But choose who to help. And they should know they are not entitled to it. They should actually work twice as hard as everyone else so that they can help someone else or themselves. Don't raise expectations too much but when you can, please help!!! ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/22/2009 Posts: 7,838
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McReggae wrote:MaichBlack wrote:McReggae wrote:We are Africans folks, aceheni uchoyo ya mzungu!!! @ McReggae - Sio uchoyo. People should not feel entitled to your money. Help. By all means. But choose who to help. And they should know they are not entitled to it. They should actually work twice as hard as everyone else so that they can help someone else or themselves. Don't raise expectations too much but when you can, please help!!! Sasa McReggae unaona wengine wanataka lorry, tractor, taxi na monthly allowance hata ukiwapatia 1,000/= watafikiria ni ya kununua kiberiti!!! It is normally the reverse. They demand. You don't raise expectations. Like the poor KDF guy I doubt he ever implied he will get anyone a lorry or a tractor! Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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MaichBlack wrote:McReggae wrote:MaichBlack wrote:McReggae wrote:We are Africans folks, aceheni uchoyo ya mzungu!!! @ McReggae - Sio uchoyo. People should not feel entitled to your money. Help. By all means. But choose who to help. And they should know they are not entitled to it. They should actually work twice as hard as everyone else so that they can help someone else or themselves. Don't raise expectations too much but when you can, please help!!! Sasa McReggae unaona wengine wanataka lorry, tractor, taxi na monthly allowance hata ukiwapatia 1,000/= watafikiria ni ya kununua kiberiti!!! It is normally the reverse. They demand. You don't raise expectations. Like the poor KDF guy I doubt he ever implied he will get anyone a lorry or a tractor! My method has always been simple, for the distant relatives I simply give them a soft loan, I always know that they will never pay but this is always the perfect way to keep them away!!!! ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Member Joined: 1/15/2010 Posts: 458
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MaichBlack wrote:Toxicity wrote:Right now a relative from a different town requested I stay with the Son for two weeks as he had been admitted to college and he had not secured a hostel, two years down the line the guy is still in the house in second year and does not seam to be in a hurry to 'look for hostel' I have raised the issue with the parents not once but twice but on both occasions it has fallen on deaf years.
Pole @Toxicity. This is the oldest trick in the book!!! Someone leaves his college going kid in your house and even leaves you with two weeks worth of fare to be giving him/her as they seek alternative accommodation for them. Shock on you. After two weeks, kid still in the house. No fare this time. Can you go to work and leave him in the house? Of course not! And the parents know this. The kid stays in your house ad infinitum and you sort his/her upkeep including fare and lunch money! Nothing wrong with helping a fellow human being but YOU should make that decision not be tricked to it. And it gets worse!!! That boy ain't going nowhere even after graduation. Take it from me. He will stay in your house "tarmacking" only most of the time he will be in the house watching movies. Out of frustrations, you might do everything to get him a job. He will still not move out! Why pay rent and buy food and all those bills while everything is free at Toxicity Inn? He might mess up at work and get fired or quit because the boss/work is stressing him! Many, many years from today you might get totally fed up and throw him out! And guess what the story line will be. "Toxicity threw our kid out of his house bla bla bla". Everything else will be forgotten. This has not happened to me because I refuse to fall for it but I have seen it happen to so many people around me that as soon as you tell me the first three lines of the story I can tell you the rest of the story including what has not happened. Talk to the parents and tell them "Next semester x cannot stay with me. You guys had better make arrangements for his accommodation." At the end of the current semester, make sure he moves out. Trying to please relatives is what gets people into these messes and 90% of them never appreciate. You are definitely going to be branded a bad person. Now or in 2020. Make the choice. I help relatives. A lot. But at arms length. And I chose who to help, when and how. If you are a hooligan, I will not pay your school fees just because my mother's second cousin and your father's grandfather were bla bla bla. If you are a bright kid and I can see your parents are struggling then I can decided how I can come in. Even if we are not related! But my house is my house. I decide who lives in it. Anyone who thinks that is selfish, too bad. I honestly did not see this coming considering the parents look/looked elite and thought they would be sane enough to understand that with young family having an extra relative from either of the spouse living with you is recipe for disaster. But as you say it is better kukasirikiwa now than 5 years from now. update president set president = speaker where president is null
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/21/2006 Posts: 1,590
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Its sad that Adebayor has gone public with family issues especially as a man. Its not a curse that your relas ask for financial help given our poverty. What might be a curse is when you don't have the wisdom to deal with those requests. For parents, close uncle and aunties that were part of your support base as you grew up, its a blessing to be able to support something small. Within reason. The Makerege route of providing soft loans is one. The other route is to limit cash handouts by asking relas to give your their business plans which you then jointly develop. Refuse to give fish, but teach how to catch a fish. Sehemu ndio nyumba
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/22/2009 Posts: 7,838
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Mainat wrote:Its sad that Adebayor has gone public with family issues especially as a man.
Its not a curse that your relas ask for financial help given our poverty. What might be a curse is when you don't have the wisdom to deal with those requests. For parents, close uncle and aunties that were part of your support base as you grew up, its a blessing to be able to support something small. Within reason.
The Makerege route of providing soft loans is one. The other route is to limit cash handouts by asking relas to give your their business plans which you then jointly develop. Refuse to give fish, but teach how to catch a fish. Adebayor had to go public! The relatives went public long before spoiling his name. And not in the village! In international media - for a fee of course. They even approached his employer - Real Madrid!!! They left him no choice! Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/22/2009 Posts: 7,838
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kayhara wrote:This needs to stop a guy (msinigeuzie) landed a KDF job a year ago, the last time I saw him he was under medication to treat depression, why because now that he has a job in jeshi his dad wants him to buy him a mguu kumi truck to carry material, the uncle wants a tractor with jembe, halo, turera, planter,the other uncle wants a pickup, another a 110 to be a taxi, the mum wants him to build her a house plus stima and water, the grandma wants him to marry ASAP and give her monthly allowance, 2 bros and 3 sisters wants to go college, and he has to pay the loan he used to pay his way to the job.
weh now where do you even start, the salo is sijui 50k or something, you either get depression or just become kichwa ngumu. Now can you imagine this KDF guy was the one playing for Arsenal, Man City, Real Madrid, Tottenham!!! Angeona moto!!! Hata hii ya Adebayor ingekuwa shadow!!! Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good returns.
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Rank: Member Joined: 11/19/2009 Posts: 3,142
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MaichBlack wrote:kayhara wrote:This needs to stop a guy (msinigeuzie) landed a KDF job a year ago, the last time I saw him he was under medication to treat depression, why because now that he has a job in jeshi his dad wants him to buy him a mguu kumi truck to carry material, the uncle wants a tractor with jembe, halo, turera, planter,the other uncle wants a pickup, another a 110 to be a taxi, the mum wants him to build her a house plus stima and water, the grandma wants him to marry ASAP and give her monthly allowance, 2 bros and 3 sisters wants to go college, and he has to pay the loan he used to pay his way to the job.
weh now where do you even start, the salo is sijui 50k or something, you either get depression or just become kichwa ngumu. Now can you imagine this KDF guy was the one playing for Arsenal, Man City, Real Madrid, Tottenham!!! Angeona moto!!! Hata hii ya Adebayor ingekuwa shadow!!! It also has to do with how one answers questions from these relatives. Has he been giving 'suggestive' answers? For example when talking about vehicles and such has he ever even faintly intimated that 'bei imerudi chini, si kama kitambo'? I learnt the hard way. There was a friend of my father who kept asking me for a phone whenever I went home. He had a kabambe that worked, albeit with a rubber band around it, so naturally it was not from a lack of a phone that he asked. One day when talking about them with him, the ones you 'stab with your finger', it struck me that he thought they are 'cheap'. I said they are too expensive for me and that was the end of the story. Sometimes not admitting you don't have money is our downfall.
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