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Are fathers trading their daughters?
Rank: Elder Joined: 10/23/2008 Posts: 3,966
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Njung'e wrote:I am tempted to dismiss what you've posted here as pure fiction/imagination for reasons best known to you.First,you outline the 3 steps as they should be carried out.From the onset,let it be known to you then, not one step overlaps into the other and thus they are done on three or more occasions. Unfortunately, you go ahead to describe a process where what comes long after dowry negotiations, appears first. You go ahead and carry out procedures in step two at stage one amid so many other mistakes. Let me give you benefit of doubt and assume that you actually went through what you have described.Two things happened, your lead negotiator is a total clueless idiot or two, which i think is a very likely scenario,some of the cash you gave out freely and willingly,is lying in you lead negotiator's Mpesa/Mshwari account.Always remember, a sucker is born every day and a fool is soon parted with his/her money  I would disagree with you on the the steps and occasions (not on how they should be but what at times happens nowadays). I have witnessed all those steps done in a single day. And not all procedures are followed to the letter. Nowadays, people want to 'save' on time and do everything at a go. Luck is when Preparation meets Opportunity. ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/23/2008 Posts: 3,966
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Njung'e wrote:@Forester,
Get the boy to threaten the girl over "an impossible list" and see how many demands will be dropped before negotiations begin.You will be surprised. Totally agree with this!! Kuna mmoja aliitishwa list totaling to sh1m. The guy told the chic, "Sio kwa ubaya, but hiyo pesa wacha ninunue kaproti." The chic did a cost-benefit analysis and disappeared from her family to go and live with the man. Luck is when Preparation meets Opportunity. ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 4/16/2014 Posts: 1,420 Location: Bohemian Grove
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Parents who are only concerned about financial benefits when their daughter is being married don't care about her. They can hardly remember the face of the guy who's marrying her after the dowry negotiations/payments are over coz they were too focused on his wallet. My grandfather told me the main purpose of dowry was to create/cement a long lasting relationship between the two families. This is why some communities would request payments in installments even if whatever they are asking can be paid at one go.(I.e. 5 goats.2 goats 1st installment n 3 goats later) . This way you get to know each without money taking taking centre stage. From the posts above, dowry is nowadays a one day heist .
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/7/2007 Posts: 11,935 Location: Nairobi
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Jus Blazin wrote:[quote=Njung'e]
I would disagree with you on the the steps and occasions (not on how they should be but what at times happens nowadays). I have witnessed all those steps done in a single day. And not all procedures are followed to the letter. Nowadays, people want to 'save' on time and do everything at a go. Personally,i haven't witnessed one done same day into conclusion...And if it's happening,then the meaning of the whole exercise is lost!!  Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 9/7/2010 Posts: 1,063 Location: Kenya
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Njung'e wrote:Jus Blazin wrote:[quote=Njung'e]
I would disagree with you on the the steps and occasions (not on how they should be but what at times happens nowadays). I have witnessed all those steps done in a single day. And not all procedures are followed to the letter. Nowadays, people want to 'save' on time and do everything at a go. Personally,i haven't witnessed one done same day into conclusion...And if it's happening,then the meaning of the whole exercise is lost!! Yes it happens. Were told that instead of going back all the way to ukambani and come back another day we could finish several steps by just walking outof the house and pretending that we have gone to ukambani and walk back to do step 2. The walking out is going to ukambani and walking in is coming fron ukambani and that denotes a different day @jb is right. Maybe you have been too busy removing bugs from your scrotum to notice the changes in cultural practices that are happening!!! 
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/7/2007 Posts: 11,935 Location: Nairobi
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/18/2011 Posts: 12,069 Location: Kianjokoma
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 9/7/2010 Posts: 1,063 Location: Kenya
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,328 Location: Masada
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Scrotal hair! Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/23/2008 Posts: 3,966
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@Njung'e, it's true. Mnaambiwa mtoke, then you come back after a few minutes for the next step. If the money can be accessed now, why wait for a few months? Scr*w cultural practices. Luck is when Preparation meets Opportunity. ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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Are fathers trading their daughters?
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