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First Day aboard a plane!!! best moment 2015
Rank: Elder Joined: 10/9/2008 Posts: 5,389
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/17/2009 Posts: 3,583 Location: Kenya
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jaggernaut wrote:Sometimes back I had the most embarrassing moment at Dubai airport. They had just opened the new terminal. I was on an emirates flight from europe via dubai. So after a 5hr flight from europe, we landed at dubai, and there was a queue at the gents after the 300+ of us disembarked. My turn came and I went into the washroom and dropped a massive load. They have those toilets that flush automatically when you stand after doing your business. But after i was finished the toilet refused to flush. I tried sitting again and standing to trigger the flushing mechanism but nothing happened. l also tried placing my palm on the infra red sensor several times but still nothing happened. After trying for about 3 minutes, I decided to just walk out leaving the mess there. I opened the door and told the guy next on the queue, in English, that the toilet wasn't working. Seems he didtn't understand english coz he rushed in, but came out a few seconds later puking. I was quite embarrassed. Kwani planes do not have toilets ndani, nimesikia story hapa ati the big ones, those that are pressurized have toilets on board and that only those small ones that fly from Djibouti to kenya, without pressure and without proper shock absorbers are the ones without toilets.
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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jaggernaut wrote:Sometimes back I had the most embarrassing moment at Dubai airport. They had just opened the new terminal. I was on an emirates flight from europe via dubai. So after a 5hr flight from europe, we landed at dubai, and there was a queue at the gents after the 300+ of us disembarked. My turn came and I went into the washroom and dropped a massive load. They have those toilets that flush automatically when you stand after doing your business. But after i was finished the toilet refused to flush. I tried sitting again and standing to trigger the flushing mechanism but nothing happened. l also tried placing my palm on the infra red sensor several times but still nothing happened. After trying for about 3 minutes, I decided to just walk out leaving the mess there. I opened the door and told the guy next on the queue, in English, that the toilet wasn't working. Seems he didtn't understand english coz he rushed in, but came out a few seconds later puking. I was quite embarrassed. 
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/17/2009 Posts: 3,583 Location: Kenya
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Impunity wrote:nakujua wrote:waa, ati 10 hours in the skies - na hizi un-pressurized flights ni nini, what is the experience between pressurized and those that do not have it.
nasikia some people get sick in the ears, does it have to do with this pressure thing.  kwani hiyo pressure flattens hivyo vyote.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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Have done a couple of flights, and the most notable difference between the medium-sized Juba-NBO and large Dubai-NBO planes, is the akoho! Those tiny bottles are a necessity, moreso in the tiny airplanes where they are not served.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 4/27/2010 Posts: 951 Location: Nyumbani
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My first time was way back ,i also did not sleep enough and who said we should watch those plane crash movies, i still watch them and still fear flying.I had my kasmall bag with some money and passport and stuff.Before leaving, i had been told stories of guys who go abroad and never come back, stories about Nigerian drug dealers.When i got into the plane, it had made a stop over@Jkia it was from Jburg and heading to Brussels. When i got in there were those tumzee mamas already snoring and i had my seat in the middle row btwn some other nyeuthis. In my head clic !these were the drug dealers. I took my kasmall bag and kept it under my seat I did not sleep. It was a night flight and i took it kitu 23:20. I ordered some beers and i got them coming, some Belgian beers.Due to fear and beer + since we took our flight at eleven , people had already had their dinner. Sema njaa.I got a running stomach and i did several trips to the toilet. The guy on the seat at the end was finally very angry coz i woke him up like 5 times. I landed safely in Europe had some other funny moments before getting to my final destination. I have since had other happy moments like overbooking and landing while waiting for a connection flight.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/17/2012 Posts: 1,461 Location: Ngong Forest
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washiku wrote:jaggernaut wrote:Sometimes back I had the most embarrassing moment at Dubai airport. They had just opened the new terminal. I was on an emirates flight from europe via dubai. So after a 5hr flight from europe, we landed at dubai, and there was a queue at the gents after the 300+ of us disembarked. My turn came and I went into the washroom and dropped a massive load. They have those toilets that flush automatically when you stand after doing your business. But after i was finished the toilet refused to flush. I tried sitting again and standing to trigger the flushing mechanism but nothing happened. l also tried placing my palm on the infra red sensor several times but still nothing happened. After trying for about 3 minutes, I decided to just walk out leaving the mess there. I opened the door and told the guy next on the queue, in English, that the toilet wasn't working. Seems he didtn't understand english coz he rushed in, but came out a few seconds later puking. I was quite embarrassed. Hahaha!  for me in the same toilets at dubai was at the urinal section and the only nyeuthi in the parked toilet I just released some loud gas,immediately the toilet was vacated!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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Ngong wrote:washiku wrote:jaggernaut wrote:Sometimes back I had the most embarrassing moment at Dubai airport. They had just opened the new terminal. I was on an emirates flight from europe via dubai. So after a 5hr flight from europe, we landed at dubai, and there was a queue at the gents after the 300+ of us disembarked. My turn came and I went into the washroom and dropped a massive load. They have those toilets that flush automatically when you stand after doing your business. But after i was finished the toilet refused to flush. I tried sitting again and standing to trigger the flushing mechanism but nothing happened. l also tried placing my palm on the infra red sensor several times but still nothing happened. After trying for about 3 minutes, I decided to just walk out leaving the mess there. I opened the door and told the guy next on the queue, in English, that the toilet wasn't working. Seems he didtn't understand english coz he rushed in, but came out a few seconds later puking. I was quite embarrassed. Hahaha! for me in the same toilets at dubai was at the urinal section and the only nyeuthi in the parked toilet I just released some loud gas,immediately the toilet was vacated! Ebola scare
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Rank: New-farer Joined: 8/26/2014 Posts: 63
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nakujua wrote:Pesa Nane wrote:Uhondo wrote:Once took a night flight from MSA to NBO that was quite unnerving in an Embraer E190. The problem with flying at night is the complete disorientation experienced aboard the plane. Its much better when you fly during the day because you can look outside and get some external references (Cloud cover, horizon etc.)When you fly at night you have absolutely no idea which way is up. It gets much worse during sharp banks. One lady seated opposite me closed her eyes (presumably in prayer) all the way from Moi to JKIA. Infront, besides, behind are all okay BUT opposite? in a plane? Unless its one of those Kisii 7-a-side matatus.  Sawa mkubwa. Kizungu is not my first language but i'm sure you get the point.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,330 Location: Masada
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,330 Location: Masada
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Mukiri wrote:Have done a couple of flights, and the most notable difference between the medium-sized Juba-NBO and large Dubai-NBO planes, is the akoho! Those tiny bottles are a necessity, moreso in the tiny airplanes where they are not served. Huyu ni @Pastor Mukiri or I'm seeing my own things?  Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/10/2008 Posts: 9,131 Location: Kanjo
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nakujua wrote:waa, ati 10 hours in the skies - na hizi un-pressurized flights ni nini, what is the experience between pressurized and those that do not have it.
nasikia some people get sick in the ears, does it have to do with this pressure thing. It has to be perfectly pressurized otherwise maskios are usually the first casualty. i.am.back!!!!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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Impunity wrote:Mukiri wrote:Have done a couple of flights, and the most notable difference between the medium-sized Juba-NBO and large Dubai-NBO planes, is the akoho! Those tiny bottles are a necessity, moreso in the tiny airplanes where they are not served. Huyu ni @Pastor Mukiri or I'm seeing my own things? A little wine is good for the stomach. There is nothing as terrifying as seeing a dilapidated plane next to the runway, when you are taking off. Haujui if it crashed when taking off. Infact, its a blessing that most international flight in JKIA are at night. Otherwise...
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/26/2012 Posts: 15,980
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Ngong wrote:washiku wrote:jaggernaut wrote:Sometimes back I had the most embarrassing moment at Dubai airport. They had just opened the new terminal. I was on an emirates flight from europe via dubai. So after a 5hr flight from europe, we landed at dubai, and there was a queue at the gents after the 300+ of us disembarked. My turn came and I went into the washroom and dropped a massive load. They have those toilets that flush automatically when you stand after doing your business. But after i was finished the toilet refused to flush. I tried sitting again and standing to trigger the flushing mechanism but nothing happened. l also tried placing my palm on the infra red sensor several times but still nothing happened. After trying for about 3 minutes, I decided to just walk out leaving the mess there. I opened the door and told the guy next on the queue, in English, that the toilet wasn't working. Seems he didtn't understand english coz he rushed in, but came out a few seconds later puking. I was quite embarrassed. Hahaha! for me in the same toilets at dubai was at the urinal section and the only nyeuthi in the parked toilet I just released some loud gas,immediately the toilet was vacated! Speaking of gas.....so i find myself at the immigration section and two planes had just landed...i like other Kenyans stood in line on the "Kenyan Passport" queue waiting for the slow immigration guy to question us on where we were coming from bla bla....the line was seriously long since a KQ flight had arrived, and Kenyans as expected were the majority. I dont know from where but someone unleashed some serious gaseous odor that filled up the whole room (which has very poor ventilation by the way). You should have seen the faces of the guys on the "other passports" queue...lucky enough for them, their immigration guy was fast, so they left the room in a huff. As for everyone else, we stood there acting as if we felt nothing...eish!. So please...Kenyans we need to learn some manners. I almost died  "There are only two emotions in the market, hope & fear. The problem is you hope when you should fear & fear when you should hope: - Jesse Livermore
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Rank: Member Joined: 5/26/2009 Posts: 326 Location: Nairobi
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*In Dar, it costs more to take a boat to Zanzibar for 'foreigners' than to fly. So I took a Coastal Aviation flight in something like a 4 seater. Midair in a 20 min flight, someone sneezed.
*Chartered 2 planes to Moyale and Mandera. One plane had a young pilot and the other a 70's kind of guy. On our way back at Moyale airstrip, the young pilot asked the old pilot in our full hearing, 'I heard that you forgot to bring along your heart condition medication?'
* With WFP from Lokichogio to SS during the war, to drop food. The plane circles and descends to 5000ft and one row (16 tonne of food) is jettisoned. Plane gains altitude almost vertically as we prepare for second descent to drop the next row. We ask why they could not do it in one swoop and the captain responds, ' they usually shoot at the plane'.
* Lilongwe to Blantyre aboard Air Malawi is best left to psychiatrists.
*In Denmark just when scanners were introduced and etiquette had not taken root (dude would be body checked by dudette and vice versa). Something beeped, and a body check was necessary. Dude doing the check got a hug. Puzzled, he let go, with a face of bewilderment and joy.
*TWB crime scene 1: in Amsterdam, recently (post ebola), askari asked, where are you from? Answer: Monrovia...(10 sec pause)...Street, Nairobi Kenya.
Finally, Kysee should pack Swenani into a plane and fly to say, Bishkek to Baku: where nyeuthi's are rarerest, and air hostesses, away from prying eyes, gat hormones! He will keep his peace forever.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/25/2012 Posts: 4,105 Location: 08c
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Uhondo wrote:nakujua wrote:Pesa Nane wrote:Uhondo wrote:Once took a night flight from MSA to NBO that was quite unnerving in an Embraer E190. The problem with flying at night is the complete disorientation experienced aboard the plane. Its much better when you fly during the day because you can look outside and get some external references (Cloud cover, horizon etc.)When you fly at night you have absolutely no idea which way is up. It gets much worse during sharp banks. One lady seated opposite me closed her eyes (presumably in prayer) all the way from Moi to JKIA. Infront, besides, behind are all okay BUT opposite? in a plane? Unless its one of those Kisii 7-a-side matatus. Sawa mkubwa. Kizungu is not my first language but i'm sure you get the point. It's never that serious fellow mkubwa Pesa Nane plans to be shilingi when he grows up.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 1/17/2013 Posts: 4,693 Location: Earth
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murchr wrote:Ngong wrote:washiku wrote:jaggernaut wrote:Sometimes back I had the most embarrassing moment at Dubai airport. They had just opened the new terminal. I was on an emirates flight from europe via dubai. So after a 5hr flight from europe, we landed at dubai, and there was a queue at the gents after the 300+ of us disembarked. My turn came and I went into the washroom and dropped a massive load. They have those toilets that flush automatically when you stand after doing your business. But after i was finished the toilet refused to flush. I tried sitting again and standing to trigger the flushing mechanism but nothing happened. l also tried placing my palm on the infra red sensor several times but still nothing happened. After trying for about 3 minutes, I decided to just walk out leaving the mess there. I opened the door and told the guy next on the queue, in English, that the toilet wasn't working. Seems he didtn't understand english coz he rushed in, but came out a few seconds later puking. I was quite embarrassed. Hahaha! for me in the same toilets at dubai was at the urinal section and the only nyeuthi in the parked toilet I just released some loud gas,immediately the toilet was vacated! Speaking of gas.....so i find myself at the immigration section and two planes had just landed...i like other Kenyans stood in line on the "Kenyan Passport" queue waiting for the slow immigration guy to question us on where we were coming from bla bla....the line was seriously long since a KQ flight had arrived, and Kenyans as expected were the majority. I dont know from where but someone unleashed some serious gaseous odor that filled up the whole room (which has very poor ventilation by the way). You should have seen the faces of the guys on the "other passports" queue...lucky enough for them, their immigration guy was fast, so they left the room in a huff. As for everyone else, we stood there acting as if we felt nothing...eish!. So please...Kenyans we need to learn some manners. I almost died haki ya mungu  eat less, avoid beans ,cabbage ok whatever food that has the potential to cause embarrasment. Foods served in the cabin look good but if you are used to vitu ngumu ngumu, tunajijua,no one not even 911 can save you. wa p,swenani ni wa forward.
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Rank: Member Joined: 9/27/2011 Posts: 123 Location: Nairobi
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Impunity wrote:Mukiri wrote:Have done a couple of flights, and the most notable difference between the medium-sized Juba-NBO and large Dubai-NBO planes, is the akoho! Those tiny bottles are a necessity, moreso in the tiny airplanes where they are not served. Huyu ni @Pastor Mukiri or I'm seeing my own things? He is a good catholic at heart. Even the pope can't conduct mass without 'akoho'
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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I usually see in movies people having sex; It has never happened to a wazuan? If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Member Joined: 9/27/2011 Posts: 123 Location: Nairobi
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Swenani wrote:I usually see in movies people having sex; It has never happened to a wazuan?
Porn?
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