I have been thinking to myself...why would men sleep in the guest wing, living room, in the car, outside the house etc when they come home in the wee hours of the morning and they have invested heavily in a king size bed ! Here is the reason from my inconclusive research!
...When @Jaggenaut is doing bendover, girls rub all the pee and shit on his groin...By the time it is 2 am, he is smelling like a skunk that has diarrhea. Add the smell of alcohol (Faxe) and you have a decomposing carcase walking home! It is very hard to explain that kind of smell to your wife...
...Lesson learnt...Sleep in your bedroom with your wife even if your perennial fart is as loud as a thunderstorm...She will get used to it...
...But here is a solution to that skunky smell i mentioned before...Always have a jerrycan of fuel in the boot of your car...A half liter of fuel is enough...Before getting home sprinkle a little bit on your groin and clothes... Tell her that the car ran out of fuel and had to rush for some. The fuel will drive that skunky smell away. And you can sleep next to your wife where she can monitor your diabetes, high blood pressure, etc... Are we cool @Jaggernaut?