c&p

A wife comes home early, and finds her husband in their bedroom making love with a much younger woman.
“You’re a disrespectful pig,” she cried. “How dare you do this to me, a faithful wife, the mother of your children. I’m leaving you. I want a divorce!”
The husband replied “hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.”
“Fine, go ahead,” she sobbed. “But they’re going to be the last words you ever say to me!”
The husband began. “Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed, and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put put on weight.”
“The poor thing devoured them in seconds. Since she needed a good clean up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you had for a few years but don’t wear anymore because you say they are too tight.”
“I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t use because I don’t have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the boutique and don’t wear because someone at work has the same pair.”
The husband took a break before continuing. “She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, “Please, do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?”