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Rank: Elder Joined: 1/17/2013 Posts: 4,693 Location: Earth
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  reminds me of an incident in primary school where this teacher came wearing a t-shirt written on virginia. We talked in whispers the whole day saying'tcher mike amevaa t-shirt imeandikwa bad-manners.'
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Rank: Member Joined: 5/9/2013 Posts: 285 Location: hapakule.
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@ kysse gets in an elevator and sees swenani standing there. She tells him, "TGIF, sir." To which he replies, "SHIT, ma'am." Surprised, she replies, "Excuse me, I was just trying to be nice - T stands for "Thank", G stands for "Goodness," I stands for "It's," and F stands for "Friday." @ swenani replies, "S stands for "Sorry," H stands for "Honey," I stands for "It's," and T stands for "Thursday." Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.
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Rank: Member Joined: 5/9/2013 Posts: 285 Location: hapakule.
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Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking." Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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4lourBliss wrote:Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking." If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 7/1/2014 Posts: 903 Location: sky
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To all my unmarried friends, its time you get married, ole lenku said insecurity is a threat to every SINGLE kenyan There are only two emotions in the stock market, fear and hope. The problem is, you hope when you should fear and fear when you should hope
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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4lourBliss wrote: @ kysse gets in an elevator and sees swenani standing there. She tells him, "TGIF, sir." To which he replies, "SHIT, ma'am." Surprised, she replies, "Excuse me, I was just trying to be nice - T stands for "Thank", G stands for "Goodness," I stands for "It's," and F stands for "Friday." @ swenani replies, "S stands for "Sorry," H stands for "Honey," I stands for "It's," and T stands for "Thursday." Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Rankaz13 wrote:4lourBliss wrote: @ kysse gets in an elevator and sees swenani standing there. She tells him, "TGIF, sir." To which he replies, "SHIT, ma'am." Surprised, she replies, "Excuse me, I was just trying to be nice - T stands for "Thank", G stands for "Goodness," I stands for "It's," and F stands for "Friday." @ swenani replies, "S stands for "Sorry," H stands for "Honey," I stands for "It's," and T stands for "Thursday."
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/8/2009 Posts: 975 Location: Nairobi
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Who is the#CRAZIEST among these??? 1. A LUO man who removed his shoes to enter a taxi! 2.A KAMBA man who carried a spanner to open a bank Account! 3.A KIKUYU man who went to bed with a ruler just to know how long he slept! 4.A MERU man who watched the news and waved at the news presenter! 5.A KALENJIN nurse who woke up a sleeping patient simply because she 4got to give him sleeping pills! 6.A LUHYA man who lowered the TV volume to read a text message in the phone! 7.An EMBIAN guy who polished his shoes to take a passport photo! 8.A KISII man who climbed a mango tree to check if the mango was ripe enough,then came down and started throwing stones at it. 9.A MAASAI lady who chose to drink Fanta becoz she thought Sprite was unripe! 10.A TAITA lady who saw something like feaces, touched it n tasted n said"Hmmm, its shit! ooo!!! thank God I have not stepped on it." 11.A GIRIAMA man who put his radio in the refrigerator bcoz he wanted to listen to Cool music! Who can win
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Rank: User Joined: 9/6/2013 Posts: 1,446 Location: In a house
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Sad story of a Man.. Last week was my birthday....My wife didnt wish me....My parents forgot and so did my kids....i went to work....Even my colleagues didnt wish me....As i entered my cabin my secretary said,"Happy Birthday Boss".... i felt so special for a moment.... She askd me for lunch.... After lunch,she invited me to her apartment.�..WE went there.... She said, "Do you mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute ?""Okay", i said...She came out 2min later with a cake And My Wife..My Parents..My Kids..My Friends & My Colleagues... All Screaming..SURPRISE!!!.. And i was waiting on the sofa. . . . NAKED... With condom ON !
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Rank: Elder Joined: 1/17/2013 Posts: 4,693 Location: Earth
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urstill1 wrote:Sad story of a Man.. Last week was my birthday....My wife didnt wish me....My parents forgot and so did my kids....i went to work....Even my colleagues didnt wish me....As i entered my cabin my secretary said,"Happy Birthday Boss".... i felt so special for a moment.... She askd me for lunch.... After lunch,she invited me to her apartment.�..WE went there.... She said, "Do you mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute ?""Okay", i said...She came out 2min later with a cake And My Wife..My Parents..My Kids..My Friends & My Colleagues... All Screaming..SURPRISE!!!.. And i was waiting on the sofa. . . . NAKED... With condom ON ! 
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Rank: Member Joined: 2/27/2014 Posts: 454 Location: Republic of Enchantment.
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kysse wrote:urstill1 wrote:Sad story of a Man.. Last week was my birthday....My wife didnt wish me....My parents forgot and so did my kids....i went to work....Even my colleagues didnt wish me....As i entered my cabin my secretary said,"Happy Birthday Boss".... i felt so special for a moment.... She askd me for lunch.... After lunch,she invited me to her apartment.�..WE went there.... She said, "Do you mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute ?""Okay", i said...She came out 2min later with a cake And My Wife..My Parents..My Kids..My Friends & My Colleagues... All Screaming..SURPRISE!!!.. And i was waiting on the sofa. . . . NAKED... With condom ON ! Oh No. Thats psychological torture. Divers - can you laugh in scuba gear, or will you drown? I was wondering. - James May.
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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urstill1 wrote:Sad story of a Man.. Last week was my birthday....My wife didnt wish me....My parents forgot and so did my kids....i went to work....Even my colleagues didnt wish me....As i entered my cabin my secretary said,"Happy Birthday Boss".... i felt so special for a moment.... She askd me for lunch.... After lunch,she invited me to her apartment.�..WE went there.... She said, "Do you mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute ?""Okay", i said...She came out 2min later with a cake And My Wife..My Parents..My Kids..My Friends & My Colleagues... All Screaming..SURPRISE!!!.. And i was waiting on the sofa. . . . NAKED... With condom ON ! THis must be @Alphadoti! If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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Swenani wrote:urstill1 wrote:Sad story of a Man.. Last week was my birthday....My wife didnt wish me....My parents forgot and so did my kids....i went to work....Even my colleagues didnt wish me....As i entered my cabin my secretary said,"Happy Birthday Boss".... i felt so special for a moment.... She askd me for lunch.... After lunch,she invited me to her apartment.�..WE went there.... She said, "Do you mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute ?""Okay", i said...She came out 2min later with a cake And My Wife..My Parents..My Kids..My Friends & My Colleagues... All Screaming..SURPRISE!!!.. And i was waiting on the sofa. . . . NAKED... With condom ON ! THis must be @Alphadoti! Bomb be upon you
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Rank: Elder Joined: 1/17/2013 Posts: 4,693 Location: Earth
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Rankaz13 wrote:4lourBliss wrote: @ kysse gets in an elevator and sees swenani standing there. She tells him, "TGIF, sir." To which he replies, "SHIT, ma'am." Surprised, she replies, "Excuse me, I was just trying to be nice - T stands for "Thank", G stands for "Goodness," I stands for "It's," and F stands for "Friday." @ swenani replies, "S stands for "Sorry," H stands for "Honey," I stands for "It's," and T stands for "Thursday."
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Rank: User Joined: 9/6/2013 Posts: 1,446 Location: In a house
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Teacher:- what's wrong?
King :- our house is very
small. Me, my mum,my dad,
we sleep on the same bed.
Every night my dad asks,
'king r u sleeping?' Then I say No & then he
slaps my face & gives me a
Black eye"
Teacher:- 2nite when ur dad
asks again, keep dead quiet
& don't answer. The following morning King
comes back with a severe
black eye again.
Teacher:- My goodness why
the black eye again?
Akpos:- Dad asked me again, King are u sleeping?
& I
shut up& kept dead still.Then
my dad & my mom started
moving, u know, at the same
time Mum was breathing like
Christmas chicken, kicking her legs up frantically
&
squealing
like a hyena on the bed.
Then my
dad asked my mum, R u
coming? Mum said, Yes I'm coming, r u coming
too?
Dad answered:- Yes.
They don't usually go
anywhere without me
so I said, wait for me, I'm also coming ..
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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urstill1 wrote:Teacher:- what's wrong?
King :- our house is very
small. Me, my mum,my dad,
we sleep on the same bed.
Every night my dad asks,
'king r u sleeping?' Then I say No & then he
slaps my face & gives me a
Black eye"
Teacher:- 2nite when ur dad
asks again, keep dead quiet
& don't answer. The following morning King
comes back with a severe
black eye again.
Teacher:- My goodness why
the black eye again?
Akpos:- Dad asked me again, King are u sleeping?
& I
shut up& kept dead still.Then
my dad & my mom started
moving, u know, at the same
time Mum was breathing like
Christmas chicken, kicking her legs up frantically
&
squealing
like a hyena on the bed.
Then my
dad asked my mum, R u
coming? Mum said, Yes I'm coming, r u coming
too?
Dad answered:- Yes.
They don't usually go
anywhere without me
so I said, wait for me, I'm also coming .. The life of Magigi!! If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Member Joined: 12/11/2006 Posts: 884
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Little Johnny farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out. He goes and sits outside the class and can't stop laughing. The principal walks by and sees him sitting outside laughing. He says, "Little Johnny what are you doing sitting here laughing?" Little Johnny says, "I farted in class and the teacher threw me out." The principal says, "Well then, why are you laughing?" Little Johnny says, "Cause the dumb idiots are sitting in the classroom smelling my fart while they put me outside in this beautiful, clean air." “Invest in yourself. Your career is the engine of your wealth.”
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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Swenani wrote:urstill1 wrote:Teacher:- what's wrong?
King :- our house is very
small. Me, my mum,my dad,
we sleep on the same bed.
Every night my dad asks,
'king r u sleeping?' Then I say No & then he
slaps my face & gives me a
Black eye"
Teacher:- 2nite when ur dad
asks again, keep dead quiet
& don't answer. The following morning King
comes back with a severe
black eye again.
Teacher:- My goodness why
the black eye again?
Akpos:- Dad asked me again, King are u sleeping?
& I
shut up& kept dead still.Then
my dad & my mom started
moving, u know, at the same
time Mum was breathing like
Christmas chicken, kicking her legs up frantically
&
squealing
like a hyena on the bed.
Then my
dad asked my mum, R u
coming? Mum said, Yes I'm coming, r u coming
too?
Dad answered:- Yes.
They don't usually go
anywhere without me
so I said, wait for me, I'm also coming .. The life of Magigi!! Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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Quote:washiku wrote:[quote=tycho]@alma, @washiku, what you've done so far, is to show us what the constitution says with regard to what the responsible citizen should do with regards to the body politic. That's good and acceptable but as I repeat again, that's not enough to promote a good life. The wrong man using the right way will surely botch things up.
I hope alma you know how to read, the bill of rights is about pre-political rights, and these rights come with a responsibility that can't be written in a constitution. It's when one knows and executes these responsibilities that he/she is capable of being a responsible citizen. And that's the only time offices in the body politic can be efficient. But because you mass men think this is a parable you can't understand you want the government to play your role, and it can't. And when told the truth you take offence. Hehehe...ati Mass men? Hiyo ni kumaanisha wanono ama? If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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