I can't wait to go to hell. I am so looking forward to it. Actually guru, when you talk to allah today, ask him if he can just send me directly to hell instead of wasting money and time sending me to heaven's gate for judgement and then sending me all the way back down to hell when the verdict is very obvious here? I want to propose a win-win-win situation here if you would indulge me for a minute. Am thinking, maybe you can ask allah or yawheh or whoever is up there, if he would like to save all of us some money and time.

They ask you to bring the punishment soon. Had there not been an appointed time, the punishment would have come to them. It will surely come to them suddenly while they will not be aware.

They ask thee to hasten on the Punishment: but of a surety, Hell will encompass the rejecters of Faith!

On the Day when the punishment will envelop them from above them and from under their feet, the Almighty God will say, “Taste what you used to do.”

Qur'an 29:53-55

I can't wait to go to hell. I am so looking forward to it. Actually guru, when you talk to allah today, ask him if he can just send me directly to hell instead of wasting money and time sending me to heaven's gate for judgement and then sending me all the way back down to hell when the verdict is very obvious here? I want to propose a win-win-win situation here if you would indulge me for a minute. Am thinking, maybe you can ask allah or yawheh or whoever is up there, if he would like to save all of us some money and time.

See, my suggestion is, if i go directly to hell, we can save money on the air fare that i will use to go for the judgement as well as the court costs of the judgement. I don't see the point of me attending the court session, maybe i can just plead no contest right now, that way i can go immediately and directly to hell and hopefully get there fast enough to secure a room that is a little further from the fire and not that hot. I am told that there are a few rooms that are not very hot but i need to get there fast as they are going really really quick. There is also a rumor that some Kiuks are selling air conditioning units in hell on the down low but i still have to confirm those rumors just like you and your religious ilk need to confirm the stories about mansions and gold paved roads in heaven. But i digress.

Anyway, with the money that allah saves from my air ticket and court costs, maybe he can use that to feed a few starving children on earth for a few weeks. I know the kids would really appreciate it. That way, we all win. Everybody wins, right? Do you think you can intervene on my behalf and ask if such an arrangement is possible? For some reason, i can never find this allah guy on whatsapp or twitter or any social media. Makes me wonder how you guys talk to him and share stories of heaven and hell. Well, be that as it may, am hoping that maybe you can find him and ask him. It's a good proposition, i think he would agree. You would too @guru, wouldn't you?

And while you are at it, please tell allah or yahweh to enroll in some anger management classes. There are a few schools that are reputable and offer quality classes. That way he might stop focusing so much on burning, punishing, killing and drowning people who have a different opinion of him and instead transfer that energy to giving us cures for cancer and AIDS, and feeding starving children so as to prevent a kid from starving to death every 3 minutes or so, helping people out of poverty and getting rid of detrimental things like hate and evil in society. Maybe he needs to change his priorities and stop obsessing with fire so much. If he focused on these positive things as much as he focuses on vengeance against people like me who have alternative views from his, this world would be a really great place to live in. We wouldn't even need this imaginary heaven you guys speak of as heaven would be right here on earth. Wouldn't that be nice @guru?