KCSE 2014 LEAGAGE

1. A Gor fan has a Stone weighing 1kg & wants to hit a Vitz which is
50metres away.


Calculate the Force he will use and the angle of inclination so as to
damage the windscreen Completly...
(15 mks)

2. Calculate the Speed of a Lady running to an M-pesa Agent after
receiving Money from an Unknown
number..(25 mks)

3. Classify the Rocks used by Waititu en Gor Fans;-
a) metamorphic
b) volcanic
c) sedimentary(15 mks)

MATHEMATICS

11 men from Manchester Utd can demolish Arsenal 8 times in 90 mins without being favoured by the referee; calculate how much Messi from Barcelona alone can demolish Arsenal in the same time.
Use formulae (1 Man U=3 Messis) (5mks)

ENGLISH (comprehension)

The following conversation takes
place at Koinange Street at around 8:00 in the evening

CUSTOMER : Unauzaje?
SELLER : Inategemea.
CUSTOMER : Nini
SELLER : Unakulia hapa ama utafungiwa....
Q1. What is the customer buying.

Q2. Do you think it is cheaper to eat there, or take away
(17 Marks)

The following was a poem by PLO Lumumba
“...In Kenya's job market, it’s about
the technical know WHO, it’s not about technical know HOW.....”

a) Why didn't he make it to the national drama festival finals?
b) How many wrinkles were on Lumumba's forehead as he said the
last line?
c) Explain the role of the poem in fighting corruption..
D) Why did he use plain English in this poem instead of his popular
jargon?
(20 marks)

Art & CRAFT

You have been provided with a lorry.
1. Show that you can make a VITZ from the lorry without reducing the lorry at all.
2.Now use the Vitz to make a tuktuk.
(5 mrks)

KISWAHILI PAPER 1

...Wiper,ODM Kenya... Wiper.. Raila huku, Kibaki kule alafu nitapita
katikati yao..Wiper..ti hi hi hi hi

A. Nani alinena maneno haya? (2mks)
B.Nani alifaulu kupita katikati ya wenzake? (2mks)
C.Kucheka kwa msemaji
kunatokanana na ulevi ama kuchizi? (2 mks)

SOCIAL ETHICS

Bearing in mind that you are Kenyan, what do you do when you see a fallen oil tanker?

A) Run away and come back with a jerrycan
B) Call your family to make some quick money
C) Steal the battery
D) Light a cigarette
( 20mrks )

Today,I saw 2 dudes greet each other loudly like this;pardon my lang,

man 1: Wi muguruki uyu!
man 2: Wi mumamaraya maya, wi!
man 1: nugu ino urathie ku
man 2: smiled and waved at him.

..just couldnt believe it.

Perfect summary

A blind man walks into a bar, makes his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender. "Hey, You wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair that you should know five things.
Number One. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
Number Two. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
Number Three. I'm a six-foot-tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
Number Four. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
Number Five. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
She concludes by smugly asking, "Now think about it seriously, mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five f*cking times.