u guys r really funny !!

LOL

GOR- Gutheka Out Roudry

@ Intel

Hizo zako ni za nguvu.Am already in stitches.

Wife goes to supermarket, sees man's briefs on sale.
She buys a dozen of the same colour. Goes home and gives hubby.

Hubby protests, "Why buy me the same colour? People will think I do not change underwear!!

Wife asks, "Which people?"

There were three preachers in a certain town. After many years of service their churches grew both in numbers and financially. So they set off to the beach for a holiday.
While there, they decided to share testimonies of their life so far:
Pastor 1: "I have had a big weakness in my life as a pastor. I have been misappropriating millions of church's money for all these years. If the members come to know of it, I will surely be put up on flames."
Pastor 2: "That's very simple sin. No-one will ever harm you for that. Mine is probably the worst. I have slept with virtually all the women in the church! I am sure even death cannot offer adequate punishment for this."
Pastor 3: "Ooh, you people have no weaknesses. Mine is a fatal one. I have had a terrible time. I have a bad spirit. I am obsessed with a spirit of gossip. Siwezi kunyamaza." Then the others told him "you are ok. Wewe utaenda mbinguni." But then the 3rd pastor told them.."infact I got to go. What I have heard from you I must say it. I must tell people. Bye my friends. I will see you after everyone has known"

A Good Samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "do you live here?"

"Yep!"

"Would you like me to help you upstairs?"

"Yep."

When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked "Is this your floor?"

"Yep."

Then the Good Samaritan got to think that maybe he didn't want to face the man's irate and tired wife because she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So, he opened the first door he came to and shoved him through it then went back downstairs.

However, when he went back outside, there was another drunk. So he asked that drunk "Do you live here?"
"Yep."

"Would you like me to help you upstairs?"

"Yep."

So he did and put him in the same door with the first drunk, Then went back downstairs.

To his surprise, there was another drunk. So he started over toward him. But before he got to him, the drunk staggered over to a policeman and cried "Please officer, save me from this man. He's been doing nothing all night long but taking me upstairs and throwing me down the elevator shaft!"