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Just for laughs...corner
Djagame
#11 Posted : Wednesday, January 06, 2010 10:37:31 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 12/10/2008
Posts: 68
Location: Nairobi
GENIUS KIKUYU SON!!!!

Mwangi lived alone upcountry in the village.
He wanted to dig his sweet potato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard.

His only son Mwaura, who used to help him, was in Kamiti prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Mwaura,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my ngwashe garden this year.

I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.
If you were here, I know you would dig the plot for me.

Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,

Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES.

Love, Mwash

At 4 a.m. the next morning, agents from flying squad, kanga squad and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.

They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,

Go ahead and plant the ngwashe now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love, Mwash
"We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children" Native American Proverb
Robinhood
#12 Posted : Thursday, January 07, 2010 5:19:26 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 12/11/2008
Posts: 2,306
Intel, Lolest

Especially the one about the urine test...
Great men are not always wise, neither do the aged understand judgement...
brav
#13 Posted : Thursday, January 07, 2010 6:45:48 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 745
@GENIUS KIKUYU SON!!!! Applause
Intelligentsia
#14 Posted : Thursday, January 07, 2010 7:38:57 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/1/2009
Posts: 2,436
Patrick had a bad attendance record with the company he worked for, particularly being late for work in the morning.
He was called to a disciplinary hearing where he was given a chance to explain his reasons.

His argument: "I get up in de morning. I shower, I look in de mirror and try tuh straiten my hair. Den I sumtimes miss de texi and den I am late."

His boss has a bright idea. He gets one of Patrick's colleagues to sneak into Patrick's room and steal the mirror off the wall, without Patrick's knowledge. The following day Patrick does not turn up for work. The same happens the day after that. So Patrick gets summoned to another hearing to explain reasons for not attending work.

His argument: "I get up in de morning. I shower, I look in de mirror. I see no Patrick. I think Patrick already left for work"
Viva Patrick!!!!!
brav
#15 Posted : Thursday, January 07, 2010 7:47:35 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 745
...
Interviewer: Which languages have you used?


Candidate: English, Kiswahili, Kimeru. By the way, I can keep quiet in
German, French, Russian and many other languages.
brav
#16 Posted : Thursday, January 07, 2010 7:51:05 AM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 11/26/2008
Posts: 745
9 RULES OF LIFE FOR 2010
1 - Live to relax!

2 - Love your bed, it is your temple!

3 - Relax in the day, so that you can sleep at night!

4 - Work is holy, so don't attack it!

5 - Don't do something tomorrow, that you can do the day afterwards!


6 - Work as little as possible. Let the others do what needs to be done!

7 - Don't worry, nobody died from doing nothing, but you could get hurt at work!

8 - If you feel like doing work, sit down and wait until that feeling goes away!

9 - Don't forget: working is healthy! So leave it for the sick people!
marex
#17 Posted : Thursday, January 07, 2010 8:09:11 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 10/4/2007
Posts: 656
Drool Pastor Muiru went out of his house and immediately the lights went off. Suddenly, a monkey jumped from a nearby tree charging towrds him. the pastor dashed back inside shouting "Kuna NUGU gizaaaani"
The way I am
carygoh
#18 Posted : Thursday, January 07, 2010 8:12:30 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/4/2008
Posts: 1,703
@djagame noma sanaApplause
Think Positive Test Negative
Intelligentsia
#19 Posted : Thursday, January 07, 2010 8:17:53 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/1/2009
Posts: 2,436
@ Brav and Marez LMAO!!!!

Marex, can we say a neighbour also started screaming and Muiru said: "Kuna NDURU gizaaaani"?

***
Subject: Simu........... Na Swaleh Mdoe

Kabla sijameza kope langu la maji hebu tafakari haya:

Mke na mume walisikizana wakitaka ngono watatumia code " kupiga simu" ili watoto wasielewe.

Basi siku moja walikua wameteta hawasemezani.

Baba akamtuma mtoto: " mwambie mamako nataka simu!"

Mama akamwambia mtoto: " mwambie imeharibika!"

Baba akanena: " mwambie basi nitakwenda kupiga nje"

Mama akamtuma motto: " Mwambie akienda kupiga nje na mimi nitafungua simu ya jamii!!!"
Intelligentsia
#20 Posted : Thursday, January 14, 2010 7:16:37 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/1/2009
Posts: 2,436
Only in nigeria do u get out of the shower and somebody still tells you OGA!
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