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Just for laughs...corner
Rankaz13
#2531 Posted : Tuesday, August 26, 2014 10:31:31 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
smile smile A man ordered for a voice automated robotic car that does anything he tells it to do correctly without any error. He got the car and started sending it on errands.
He became very proud of what the car could do without mistakes.

One day, he was home and his wife told him to tell the car to go and pick the children from school as she was very tired. The man agreed and said to the car, "Car, go and bring my children from school." The car went and didn't return in time as expected; they
knew something must be wrong. Several hours later and no car, the man became apprehensive.

He dressed up and got ready to lodge a report at the police station. As he and his wife stepped outside they saw their car coming with an overload of children. The car parked right in front of them and said, "These are your children sir."

In the car were their Landlady's two daughters, their maid's two
sons, his wife's best friend's daughter, his secretary's son and their neighbours two sons.

The Wife said to him, "Don't tell me all these are your
children!!" The man asked her calmly, "Can you first tell me why our
children are not in the car?" smile smile
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
washiku
#2532 Posted : Tuesday, August 26, 2014 10:56:58 PM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Rankaz13 wrote:
smile smile A man ordered for a voice automated robotic car that does anything he tells it to do correctly without any error. He got the car and started sending it on errands.
He became very proud of what the car could do without mistakes.

One day, he was home and his wife told him to tell the car to go and pick the children from school as she was very tired. The man agreed and said to the car, "Car, go and bring my children from school." The car went and didn't return in time as expected; they
knew something must be wrong. Several hours later and no car, the man became apprehensive.

He dressed up and got ready to lodge a report at the police station. As he and his wife stepped outside they saw their car coming with an overload of children. The car parked right in front of them and said, "These are your children sir."

In the car were their Landlady's two daughters, their maid's two
sons, his wife's best friend's daughter, his secretary's son and their neighbours two sons.

The Wife said to him, "Don't tell me all these are your
children!!" The man asked her calmly, "Can you first tell me why our
children are not in the car?" smile smile


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Masaibu ya Swenani...
McReggae
#2533 Posted : Wednesday, August 27, 2014 3:38:00 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/17/2008
Posts: 23,365
Location: Nairobi
Have you ever wondered why many girls use
smileys
and short replies while chatting nowadays?
Seriously,
I have come to realize why most girls do. I
was
chatting with this babe yesterday and it was
Like....
Me: how are you dear?
Girl: 5n
Me: how was ur day?
Girl: 5n
Me: how is your family?
Girl: 5n
Me: are you missing me?
Girl: No
Me: but am missing you
Girl: tank
Me: I'm not feeling well
Girl: sowi
Me: so how was ya day?
Girl: 5n
Me: are you busy?
Girl: no
Me: are you with someone over there?
Girl: no
Me: what? Why don't you type something
interesting instead of sending me short
replies?
Girl: k
Me: type something now!
Girl: k
Me: Ok! Ok so its true
Girl: dat wat
Me: I heard you failed your English exams...
Girl: who telled you? ...where have sawed my
resalts..k frm ur info .. I passed away.
Me: OMG... That's ok. U can use smileys and
short replies please!!
..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
Wendz
#2534 Posted : Wednesday, August 27, 2014 6:48:42 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/19/2008
Posts: 4,268
McReggae wrote:
Have you ever wondered why many girls use
smileys
and short replies while chatting nowadays?
Seriously,
I have come to realize why most girls do. I
was
chatting with this babe yesterday and it was
Like....
Me: how are you dear?
Girl: 5n
Me: how was ur day?
Girl: 5n
Me: how is your family?
Girl: 5n
Me: are you missing me?
Girl: No
Me: but am missing you
Girl: tank
Me: I'm not feeling well
Girl: sowi
Me: so how was ya day?
Girl: 5n
Me: are you busy?
Girl: no
Me: are you with someone over there?
Girl: no
Me: what? Why don't you type something
interesting instead of sending me short
replies?
Girl: k
Me: type something now!
Girl: k
Me: Ok! Ok so its true
Girl: dat wat
Me: I heard you failed your English exams...
Girl: who telled you? ...where have sawed my
resalts..k frm ur info .. I passed away.
Me: OMG... That's ok. U can use smileys and
short replies please!!


hahahahahaha...

This is true story. There is this lady who was my best friend in high school. Found me on one of the social sites and decided to sound me out. however, I bet she used her child to write to me or something.... and it was full of all these unblvble, hi(the smiley)skul, load of crap! I hate those things....
washiku
#2535 Posted : Thursday, August 28, 2014 5:35:48 PM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
Employer: Why are you asking for such a high salary and you have no experience in this field?
Otieno: Well the job is much harder when you don’t know what you are doing
washiku
#2536 Posted : Thursday, August 28, 2014 5:38:31 PM
Rank: Chief

Joined: 5/9/2007
Posts: 13,095
An Indian goes to Walmart in the U.S.
He finds cat food at special prices.
He picks a dozen cans of cat food & goes to check out.
The Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy might not have a cat & will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks the Indian to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food.
The Indian goes home & returns with a cat & gets to buy the cat food.
Next week the Indian finds dog food at special prices.
He picks a dozen cans of dog food & goes to check out...
The Manager again gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy may have a cat but he cannot have a dog & he will probably feed dog food to his kids.
He asks the Indian to bring & show him the dog before he can let him have dog food.
The Indian goes home & returns with a dog.
He gets to buy the dog food.
The following week, the Indian comes to Walmart with a bag. He asks the Manager to put his hand in the bag. The Manager puts his hand in the bag, feels some thing slimy & immediately pulls it out...!!!
He shouts at the Indian, "What the hell...!!!
This is shit, U Idiot...!!!???"
The Indian calmly replies, "Yes, now may I buy some toilet paper please...???"
AlphDoti
#2537 Posted : Thursday, August 28, 2014 6:00:57 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
Wendz wrote:
McReggae wrote:
Have you ever wondered why many girls use
smileys
and short replies while chatting nowadays?
Seriously,
I have come to realize why most girls do. I
was
chatting with this babe yesterday and it was
Like....
Me: how are you dear?
Girl: 5n
Me: how was ur day?
Girl: 5n
Me: how is your family?
Girl: 5n
Me: are you missing me?
Girl: No
Me: but am missing you
Girl: tank
Me: I'm not feeling well
Girl: sowi
Me: so how was ya day?
Girl: 5n
Me: are you busy?
Girl: no
Me: are you with someone over there?
Girl: no
Me: what? Why don't you type something
interesting instead of sending me short
replies?
Girl: k
Me: type something now!
Girl: k
Me: Ok! Ok so its true
Girl: dat wat
Me: I heard you failed your English exams...
Girl: who telled you? ...where have sawed my
resalts..k frm ur info .. I passed away.
Me: OMG... That's ok. U can use smileys and
short replies please!!


hahahahahaha...

This is true story. There is this lady who was my best friend in high school. Found me on one of the social sites and decided to sound me out. however, I bet she used her child to write to me or something.... and it was full of all these unblvble, hi(the smiley)skul, load of crap! I hate those things....

I feel you @wendz. I hate those things too. Sometimes I don't understand what a young person has said. One day I forwarded some text to my wife, she replied and said "that message didn't originate from you". I asked her why. She said I never use those words... It was actually from one of my nephews. I wish I could find that message.
kysse
#2538 Posted : Sunday, August 31, 2014 8:07:28 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 1/17/2013
Posts: 4,693
Location: Earth
washiku wrote:
Rankaz translate

Typical Kikuyu mother...

Child: Mami eh!!

Mother:Yuuu

Child: Nihutire

Mother: ( still digging)Eka atiriri

Child: Eee

Mother: Mai mau mari hau ja na
kirai e

Child: ee

Mother: Woe thafuni hau bafu
withambemoko ee

Child: ee

Mother: Uke undie!!!!!!!


I heard one today. 'nindathii muhagire mwana ' ngai!
Mukiri
#2539 Posted : Sunday, August 31, 2014 10:52:42 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/11/2012
Posts: 5,222
radio wrote:
Rankaz13 wrote:
washiku wrote:
A mad man at a mental hospital climbed on a branch of a tree and stayed there for half a day.Suddenly, he let go off the branch and fell full force to the ground. A doctor quickly came and asked him, "what happened? " The mad man answered, " I'M RIPE"


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly


Laughing out loudlyLaughing out loudlyLaughing out loudlyLaughing out loudly

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Proverbs 19:21
Rankaz13
#2540 Posted : Tuesday, September 02, 2014 12:10:18 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
Sauti 1:panuaa...
Sauti 2:naogopa...
Sauti 1:panuaa...
Sauti 2:naogopa...

Maneno yalitokea chumbani yakamfanya mpita njia ajisogeshe dirishani.
Sauti 1:waogopa nini?
Sauti 2:nitatoka damu nyingi.
Sauti 1:kwani ndio mara yako ya kwanza?
Sauti 2:ndio...
Sauti 1:jikaze basi sikuumizi
Sauti 2:aiiih! siwezi
Sauti 1:kwani hujawahi hata siku moja toka uzaliwe?
Sauti 2:ndio, tangu nizaliwe sijawahi kung'oa jino
Mpita njia:(akasirika),"Usenge mtupu,mwatutia nyege bure,kumbe hii ni hospitali!!..ufala huo
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
294 Pages«<252253254255256>»
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