Wazuans, help a mother out o'er here pls.

I am a mother of a 2 yr ol gal (2yrs 3 months), and in the last 24 or so months, i've had 7 househepls/nannies, the pattern/duration of stay being 3 months, 4months,3 months, 1yr 1 month, 1 month, 1 week, and now coming to end about 2 months or so, resectively.

Almost each mother i meet has the same stories about househelps, mpaka i think we recycle them among our houses.

Am a single mom.

I am no saint but i dont abuse my helps and i have never denied any food. As a standard after my third help,i gave saturday evenings to sunday evening/monday monring offs, and my pay has been (remember these have all been live-in) from 4k my firs help to 10k my longest serving help, and now 7k for my current. I have paid double salary to my helps in decembers. I have always paid a K for travel to shags for each help, and have release them to visit their relas/go on leave in April, August, October and Dec, all coinciding with the times i have myself taken leave.

Sasa, swali hapa. In the midst of overwhelmingly scary and shocking horror stories of things mboches can do/have done to kids at home, where lies the long term solution for a househelp/nanny to take care of our children while we are at work. Am a single mom and i therefore dont have the choice of being a work-from/at-home-mom. But i need some solutions.

My longest serving help was actually a really close rela who was impeccable with my daughter and very very clean and good with house chores (would recommend her) until she had an abortion in my house and i came home to a bloody pool being walked on by my daugter. She left after the embarassment. the other helps have same stories as i've heard from other moms: went shags after 3 months, didn't return from leave; found out she was tangatangaing leaving my baby at home while i was at work; didnt find her to have 'bonded' with the kid and generally disinterested in playing with kids etc etc. My shortest-serving help of 1 week came on a sunday (referral by my sister's help)from shags, worked through the week,convinced me to pay her in advance because her kids in shags were in need, bought her a simple phone so i could find out how my daugter was doing, went on sunday morning to 'church', didnt return till 9PM tuesday blaming her cousin for taking her phone making her unable to communicate to me that she couldnt come. ni kama ndrama,kweli ni kama findeo.

Narudia swali. Where will we working women get a reliable source of domestic helps and nannies to help us out while we work away?

That turnover of househelps is high.

Do a soul search and find out what you are not doing right. (Am not saying you are to blame).If you can get feedback from those who left what they did not like about working for you.That might help you.Sometimes we may think we are doing the right thing but the other person does not see it that way.And like in all relationships communication is key.

Are you miss perfect in house cleanliness? Taking care of a young one is a challenge and so sometimes issues of the house being clean get lost along the way.

If the gal is good with the baby ie feeding and cleaning then deal with issues of the house separately.Help where you can and dont fuss about it.

For me good source is a rural gal then you train them.

Good luck.

I have one solution to you

Get married to a stay at home Dad.

You will kill two birds with one stone
1.He will make sure that the househelp takes care of teh baby
2.He will be eating the househelp thus avoiding the housefelp to tangatanga and manganga within the estate

I echo what @bigchick has said. This has something to do with you, but I'm not saying you're doing something wrong. Only that I think 90% of househelp respond to the treatment she gets from the mother of the house. Treat them like your own child, food she eats, clothes, bathing, shoes, etc

Also, I think presence of a father has a positive impact on the general behaviour of the household.
I am not trying to judge you about your being single because maybe it is not your choice. But generally single mothers face a lot more challenges in raising children to handling maids.
of course, the father should have no role as far as the househelp is concerned, but just the presence of man makes the girls somehow obedient.

There is something about presence of a man in a house.

I have seen this in my own house. For example there was a girl who raised two of our children until 4 four year old. She stayed with us for almost 7 years. Eventually we put her in college and now she is married with a job! Others who raised the other children relatively stayed long, at least 2 years. And I never used to talk to any househelp directly, unless when sick! I never used to enter the kitchen if they are in there.

And we never paid the money you have mentioned. Maybe it was cheap those days.

IMPORTANT: None of the maids who stayed were relatives. And none of them were from the bureau.

That is little.Mine is paid 15k and does a good job!!!!!!