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butterflyke		#2501 Posted : Wednesday, August 13, 2014 10:40:45 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 5/1/2010 Posts: 3,024 Location: Hapa		urstill1 wrote: One day Swenani went to the beach. While taking a stroll, he decided to lie down and enjoy the coastal sun. Then suddenly, a mermaid appeared from the sea and came to him... MERMAID: "Im giving you three wishes to make. And whatever you wish, it shall come true" "Swenani: "I wish for a car." *bam! A Range Rover appeared next to Swenani.* MERMAID: "You have two more wishes. Anything you wish, it shall come true." Swenani: "I wish for a lot of money." *bam! 4 suitcases containing 50 million each appeared. Swenani took the suitcases and put them in the car and took the car for a spin. After 10 minutes, he went back to where the mermaid was. MERMAID: "You have one more wish. Anything you wish for, it shall come true." Swenani: "So these wishes are true. Wow!, I am now the happiest man in the world. For my last wish, I want to be irresistible to Kenyan women." *bam! Swenani turned into a weave. I was sure @kysse would be mentioned..... Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
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washiku		#2502 Posted : Thursday, August 14, 2014 7:44:25 PM
Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095		Weird thoughts on Whatsapp list: 1. Someone's status says "Sleeping" for 13 Days! He's probably dead. 2. Someone is "Driving" for 5 days! I guess anaenda Rongai!!! 3. Someone's "Happy" for 1 Month. Do they live in Paradise? 4. Someone is always 'Available'. How free are they? 5. From Day 1, someone's like, 'Hey there! I'm using WhatsApp'. I know! That's why you're on my list! 6. Someone updates "Urgent calls only". Are you in the ambulance service? 7. Another says, "Can't talk. Whatsapp only". Dude, then throw away your phone. You're not using its primary function. 8. Another says they are "At the Gym". I wish to see their shape when they come out. 9.Another updates "In a Meeting" for like 6 months. Anapanga kuuza Kenya ama? 10. Someone else says "Battery about to die" since last year. Kwani battery yake ni immortal? 11. This other lady says "At the movies" for the past 6 weeks. Does she sell popcorn there?! A needy child's education depends on you. Click here to assist
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Rankaz13		#2503 Posted : Thursday, August 14, 2014 7:55:33 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here		urstill1 wrote: One famous scientist, Masukuma wa Masukuma tested a frog. He cut its legs off and said 'Jump!' The frog didn't jump. He then concluded that when frogs lose their legs, they become deaf! Masalaaale!! Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Impunity		#2504 Posted : Thursday, August 14, 2014 7:57:30 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,331 Location: Masada		washiku wrote: Weird thoughts on Whatsapp list: 1. Someone's status says "Sleeping" for 13 Days! He's probably dead. 2. Someone is "Driving" for 5 days! I guess anaenda Rongai!!! 3. Someone's "Happy" for 1 Month. Do they live in Paradise? 4. Someone is always 'Available'. How free are they? 5. From Day 1, someone's like, 'Hey there! I'm using WhatsApp'. I know! That's why you're on my list! 6. Someone updates "Urgent calls only". Are you in the ambulance service? 7. Another says, "Can't talk. Whatsapp only". Dude, then throw away your phone. You're not using its primary function. 8. Another says they are "At the Gym". I wish to see their shape when they come out. 9.Another updates "In a Meeting" for like 6 months. Anapanga kuuza Kenya ama? 10. Someone else says "Battery about to die" since last year. Kwani battery yake ni immortal? 11. This other lady says "At the movies" for the past 6 weeks. Does she sell popcorn there?! Portfolio: Sold You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Swenani		#2505 Posted : Thursday, August 14, 2014 8:11:01 PM
Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum		urstill1 wrote: One day Swenani went to the beach. While taking a stroll, he decided to lie down and enjoy the coastal sun. Then suddenly, a mermaid appeared from the sea and came to him... MERMAID: "Im giving you three wishes to make. And whatever you wish, it shall come true" "Swenani: "I wish for a car." *bam! A Range Rover appeared next to Swenani.* MERMAID: "You have two more wishes. Anything you wish, it shall come true." Swenani: "I wish for a lot of money." *bam! 4 suitcases containing 50 million each appeared. Swenani took the suitcases and put them in the car and took the car for a spin. After 10 minutes, he went back to where the mermaid was. MERMAID: "You have one more wish. Anything you wish for, it shall come true." Swenani: "So these wishes are true. Wow!, I am now the happiest man in the world. For my last wish, I want to be irresistible to Kenyan women." *bam! Swenani turned into a weave. Maybe I turned into an airport weave! If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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littledove		#2506 Posted : Thursday, August 14, 2014 8:36:36 PM
Rank: Veteran Joined: 7/1/2014 Posts: 927 Location: sky		Swenani wrote: urstill1 wrote: One day Swenani went to the beach. While taking a stroll, he decided to lie down and enjoy the coastal sun. Then suddenly, a mermaid appeared from the sea and came to him... MERMAID: "Im giving you three wishes to make. And whatever you wish, it shall come true" "Swenani: "I wish for a car." *bam! A Range Rover appeared next to Swenani.* MERMAID: "You have two more wishes. Anything you wish, it shall come true." Swenani: "I wish for a lot of money." *bam! 4 suitcases containing 50 million each appeared. Swenani took the suitcases and put them in the car and took the car for a spin. After 10 minutes, he went back to where the mermaid was. MERMAID: "You have one more wish. Anything you wish for, it shall come true." Swenani: "So these wishes are true. Wow!, I am now the happiest man in the world. For my last wish, I want to be irresistible to Kenyan women." *bam! Swenani turned into a weave. Maybe I turned into an airport weave! There are only two emotions in the stock market, fear and hope. The problem is, you hope when you should fear and fear when you should hope
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radio		#2507 Posted : Thursday, August 14, 2014 8:37:21 PM
Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/9/2009 Posts: 2,003		Rankaz13 wrote: urstill1 wrote: One famous scientist, Masukuma wa Masukuma tested a frog. He cut its legs off and said 'Jump!' The frog didn't jump. He then concluded that when frogs lose their legs, they become deaf! Masalaaale!!
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butterflyke		#2508 Posted : Friday, August 15, 2014 1:24:42 AM
Rank: Elder Joined: 5/1/2010 Posts: 3,024 Location: Hapa		Crazy Responses From Kenyan Matatu Conductors... 1.An elderly woman complains about the music ‘Wekeni nyimbo za yesu’ Conductor: Mathee, Yesu bado hajatoa album 2.Passenger: Kuna kiti? Conductor: Hao wengine wamekalia ndoo? 3.Passenger: Kuna kiti ama ni zile uongo zenu Conductor: Hehe kama ulikua unaogopa kukosa kiti si ungebeba yako. 4.Passenger: Bwana hii gari ina joto sana! Conductor: Basi shuka upande fridge. 5.Conductor: Madam,kuna seats pale nyuma. Passenger: Siwezi kaa seats za nyuma, Nataka mbele. Conductor: Kwani za nyuma ziko nje ya gari? Basi wacha dere ashuke ukae mbele. 6.Passenger: Tao ngapi Conductor: Mbao Passenger: Niko na ashuu Conductor: Hiyo nunua avocado ujipake utelezee mpaka tao mbele. 7.Girl: Ongeza volume tusikie Mwalimu King’ang’i! Conductor: Ungesikiza Mwalimu wa shule ungekua na gari yako si kutusumbua hapa na King’ang’i! Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
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Muriel		#2509 Posted : Friday, August 15, 2014 8:31:34 AM
Rank: Member Joined: 11/19/2009 Posts: 3,142		urstill1 wrote: One famous scientist, Masukuma wa Masukuma tested a frog. He cut its legs off and said 'Jump!' The frog didn't jump. He then concluded that when frogs lose their legs, they become deaf! Masalaaale!! Scientist! Laugh Laugh Laugh
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washiku		#2510 Posted : Friday, August 15, 2014 6:21:40 PM
Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095		3 professors from KU, JKUAT & UON were invited to board a plane. After they sat in the plane, they were told that their own students made the plane. The two professors from JKUAT & KU hurriedly jumped off the plane screaming "Jesus save us!!" But the prof from UON remained calm & was relaxed. The organizers then asked: prof why are you so calm. He replied "If my students made this plane, then it will not even start!  A needy child's education depends on you. Click here to assist
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