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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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washiku wrote:While in England Uhuru met the Queen of England and asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"
"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Uhuru frowned, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's
easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle."
The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send David Cameron in here, would you?
David Cameron walked into the room. "Yes, my Queen?"
The Queen smiled. "Answer me this, please, David. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, David Cameron answered, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.
Uhuru came back to Kenya & asked Duale the same question.
"Duale. Answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your
sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," said Duale. "Let me get back to you on that one." Duale went and asked his advisors but none gave him an answer.
Finally, he ended up in the urinal and met Ababu Namwamba.
Duale asked Namwamba "Ababu! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Ababu yelled back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Duale smiled, and said, "Thanks man!"
Then pleased with himself, he went back to speak with Uhuru.
"Mr. President, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Ababu Namwamba!!."
Uhuru got up, stomped over to Duale, and angrily yelled into his face, "No,
you idiot! It's David Cameron!"......  If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/21/2008 Posts: 2,490
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Rank: Member Joined: 12/11/2006 Posts: 884
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Was anybody hurt during the shooting of the movie? “Invest in yourself. Your career is the engine of your wealth.”
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/2/2011 Posts: 4,818 Location: -1.2107, 36.8831
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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 Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Omondi alipatiwa mtihani wa insha iliokuwa inaanza hivi: . Nilipofika nyumbani nilimpata mama amepigwa na Butwa na Bumbuazi..... (endeleza) 40 MARKS Omondi akaendelea....... Kitu ya kwanza mimi nafanya naenda kwa kina Butwa...namtwanga Butwa! Natwanga yeye lakini siuwi, sababu yeye ndio tapeleka mimi kwa kina Bumbuazi, pia niulize yeye kwanini walipiga Mama yangu!!!!!!!!
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Rank: Member Joined: 7/23/2009 Posts: 526
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washiku wrote:Omondi alipatiwa mtihani wa insha iliokuwa inaanza hivi:
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Nilipofika nyumbani nilimpata mama amepigwa na Butwa na Bumbuazi..... (endeleza) 40 MARKS
Omondi akaendelea.......
Kitu ya kwanza mimi nafanya naenda kwa kina Butwa...namtwanga Butwa!
Natwanga yeye lakini siuwi, sababu yeye ndio tapeleka mimi kwa kina Bumbuazi, pia niulize yeye kwanini walipiga Mama yangu!!!!!!!! Accept no one's definition of your life; define your life.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 1/17/2013 Posts: 4,693 Location: Earth
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ROFLMAOING!!
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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Mwangi visited his friend Kilunda. Kilunda called his wife and asked her to serve them drinks. When the wife was done with the serving, she sat down right opposite Mwangi with her legs strategically placed to show!!! Mwangi could not control himself so he enjoyed the view. When Kilunda went inside the house, Kilunda's wife said to Mwangi, "Do you like what you see"? Mwangi said YES. Kilunda's wife said , "You can have it,but it will only cost you Ksh10,000, and Mwangi agreed. So they fixed a time 12noon the next day when the husband Kilunda, will be at work.So the next day, Mwangi came over at the exact time and they enjoyed themselves then he paid her. When Kilunda came back, this was what transpired between them: Kilunda: honey was Mwangi here today? WIFE:[AFRAID] yes Kilunda : at 12noon right ? WIFE : [ALMOST FAINTING ] yes kilunda : Ohh! Mwangi my good friend, always keeping time ... WIFE : Honey, why do you ask? Kilunda : He came over to my office this morning and borrowed Kshs 10,000 from me promising to bring it back to you at the house by 12noon, so did he bring it? The wife FAINTED!!!!
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/17/2012 Posts: 1,461 Location: Ngong Forest
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washiku wrote:Mwangi visited his friend Kilunda. Kilunda called his wife and asked her to serve them drinks. When the wife was done with the serving, she sat down right opposite Mwangi with her legs strategically placed to show!!! Mwangi could not control himself so he enjoyed the view. When Kilunda went inside the house, Kilunda's wife said to Mwangi, "Do you like what you see"?
Mwangi said YES.
Kilunda's wife said , "You can have it,but it will only cost you Ksh10,000, and Mwangi agreed.
So they fixed a time 12noon the next day when the husband Kilunda, will be at work.So the next day, Mwangi came over at the exact time and they enjoyed themselves then he paid her.
When Kilunda came back, this was what transpired between them:
Kilunda: honey was Mwangi here today?
WIFE:[AFRAID] yes
Kilunda : at 12noon right ?
WIFE : [ALMOST FAINTING ] yes
kilunda : Ohh! Mwangi my good friend, always keeping time ...
WIFE : Honey, why do you ask?
Kilunda : He came over to my office this morning and borrowed
Kshs 10,000 from me promising to bring it back to you at the house by 12noon, so did he bring it?
The wife FAINTED!!!! crazy!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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Ngong wrote:washiku wrote:Mwangi visited his friend Kilunda. Kilunda called his wife and asked her to serve them drinks. When the wife was done with the serving, she sat down right opposite Mwangi with her legs strategically placed to show!!! Mwangi could not control himself so he enjoyed the view. When Kilunda went inside the house, Kilunda's wife said to Mwangi, "Do you like what you see"?
Mwangi said YES.
Kilunda's wife said , "You can have it,but it will only cost you Ksh10,000, and Mwangi agreed.
So they fixed a time 12noon the next day when the husband Kilunda, will be at work.So the next day, Mwangi came over at the exact time and they enjoyed themselves then he paid her.
When Kilunda came back, this was what transpired between them:
Kilunda: honey was Mwangi here today?
WIFE:[AFRAID] yes
Kilunda : at 12noon right ?
WIFE : [ALMOST FAINTING ] yes
kilunda : Ohh! Mwangi my good friend, always keeping time ...
WIFE : Honey, why do you ask?
Kilunda : He came over to my office this morning and borrowed
Kshs 10,000 from me promising to bring it back to you at the house by 12noon, so did he bring it?
The wife FAINTED!!!! crazy! Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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. Ngoja ngoja ni ngoja mbili. 2. Mchagua jembe hana tractor. 3. Mpanda ngazi hana lift. 4. Aisifuye mvua hajaona el nino. 5. Leo ni leo msema kesho ni Prophet. 6. Mtoto akililia wembe mpe atachonga kalamu. 7. Maji yakimwagika hupanguzwa na mop. 8. Kikulacho kweli kina appetite. 9.Asiyefunzwa na mamake, ni mamake hakuwa mwalimu alikuwa muuzaji 10. haba na haba hukuwa hapa kule
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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washiku wrote:1. Ngoja ngoja ni ngoja mbili.
2. Mchagua jembe hana tractor.
3. Mpanda ngazi hana lift.
4. Aisifuye mvua hajaona el nino.
5. Leo ni leo msema kesho ni Prophet.
6. Mtoto akililia wembe mpe atachonga kalamu.
7. Maji yakimwagika hupanguzwa na mop.
8. Kikulacho kweli kina appetite.
9.Asiyefunzwa na mamake, ni mamake hakuwa mwalimu alikuwa muuzaji
10. haba na haba hukuwa hapa kule Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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