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Rank: Member Joined: 12/7/2010 Posts: 520 Location: Epicentre - Ngamia 1
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McReggae wrote:
On his Birthday, Peter is really upset since none of his family members or dear ones remember to wish him.
As he walked into his office, his secretary Anna said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!”
He feels better knowing that at least someone remembered.
At lunch time Anna knocks on his door and says, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your Birthday, why don’t we go out for lunch, just you and me.”
Peter happily agrees and they have a sumptuous lunch. On the way back to the office, Anna says, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day… We don’t have to go right back to the office, do we?”
Peter replies “I suppose not. What do you have in mind?”
She says, “Why don't we go to my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”
After arriving at her apartment, Anna says, “Boss if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.”
“Ok.” He nervously replies....
After a couple of minutes Anne comes out carrying a huge birthday cake… Followed by his wife, his kids, and dozens of his friends, and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.
And Peter just sits there… On the couch… NAKED!
 Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs - Farrah Gray.
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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McReggae wrote:
On his Birthday, Peter is really upset since none of his family members or dear ones remember to wish him.
As he walked into his office, his secretary Anna said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!”
He feels better knowing that at least someone remembered.
At lunch time Anna knocks on his door and says, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your Birthday, why don’t we go out for lunch, just you and me.”
Peter happily agrees and they have a sumptuous lunch. On the way back to the office, Anna says, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day… We don’t have to go right back to the office, do we?”
Peter replies “I suppose not. What do you have in mind?”
She says, “Why don't we go to my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”
After arriving at her apartment, Anna says, “Boss if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.”
“Ok.” He nervously replies....
After a couple of minutes Anne comes out carrying a huge birthday cake… Followed by his wife, his kids, and dozens of his friends, and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.
And Peter just sits there… On the couch… NAKED!
Peter Magigi If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/31/2008 Posts: 7,081 Location: Kenya
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A forward...
1)Q: Who is a gynecologist?
A: He is the only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place where others find pleasure!
2)Q: What's the difference between a cricketer and a condom?
A: The cricketer drops the catch, and the condom catches the drop
3)Q: What is the difference between riding a bicycle and riding a woman?
A: To ride a bicycle you position your ass and then move your legs.
To ride a woman you position your legs and then move your ass
4)Q: What three things are common between the sun and a woman's underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.
5)Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own
6)Q: What's common between men and video?
A: Both go backward... forward. backward... forward ... stop and eject
7)Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come you are in big trouble .
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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A KIKUYU man walks into a bank in NAIROBI City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to DUBAI on business for two weeks and needs to borrow KSH 5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the KIKUYU man hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the logbook and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the KIKUYU for using a KSH 50,000,000 Ferrari as collateral against a KSH 5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the KIKUYU returns, repays the KSH 5,000 and the interest, which comes to KSH 150.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "KSH 5,000" The KIKUYU replies: "Where else in NAIROBI can I park my car for two weeks for only KSH 150.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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washiku wrote:A KIKUYU man walks into a
bank in NAIROBI City and asks for the loan
officer.
He tells the loan
officer that he is going to DUBAI on
business for two weeks and
needs to borrow KSH 5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the
bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the KIKUYU man
hands over the keys to a new Ferrari
parked on the street in front of the bank.
He produces the logbook and
everything checks out.
The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all
enjoy a good laugh at the KIKUYU for using
a KSH 50,000,000 Ferrari as collateral against a KSH 5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the KIKUYU returns, repays the KSH 5,000 and the interest, which comes to KSH
150.41.
The loan officer says, "Sir, we are
very happy to have had your business,
and this transaction has worked out
very nicely but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and
found that you are a multi millionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you
bother to borrow "KSH 5,000"
The KIKUYU replies:
"Where else in NAIROBI
can I park my car for
two weeks for only KSH 150.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"  Brilliant!!  Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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Ara! Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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April fools day: This is a nice one: On Tuesday, a girl wanted to know how her hubby would react if she left without telling him where she had gone. So she decided to write him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live with him any more and after writing, put the letter on the table in the bedroom before hiding under the bed... When her hubby came back home, he saw the letter and read it, then he also wrote something on it then began to sing and dance changing his clothes. He got his phone, dialled someone then said: "Hey babe, am just changing clothes then will join you, as for the other fool it has finally dawned on her that I was fooling around with her and has left. I was really wrong to have married her, I wish I had known you earlier. See you soon honey!". Then her hubby walked out of the room. In tears and very upset, she got up from under the bed and decided to go and read what her hubby wrote on the letter.When she got the letter, it said: "I COULD see your feet you idiot, I am going to buy bread. Stand up, stop your silly games and prepare me a meal..... ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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McReggae wrote:April fools day: This is a nice one:
On Tuesday, a girl wanted to know how her hubby
would react if she left without telling him where she
had gone. So she decided to write him a letter
saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live
with him any more and after writing, put the letter
on the table in the bedroom before hiding under the
bed... When her hubby came back home, he saw the
letter and read it, then he also wrote something on
it then began to sing and dance changing his
clothes. He got his phone, dialled someone then
said: "Hey babe, am just changing clothes then will
join you, as for the other fool it has finally
dawned on her that I was fooling around with her
and has left. I was really wrong to have married
her, I wish I had known you earlier. See you soon
honey!". Then her hubby walked out of the room. In
tears and very upset, she got up from under the
bed and decided to go and read what her hubby
wrote on the letter.When she got the letter, it said:
"I COULD see your feet you idiot, I am going to buy
bread. Stand up, stop your silly games and prepare
me a meal.....
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Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
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McReggae wrote:April fools day: This is a nice one:
On Tuesday, a girl wanted to know how her hubby
would react if she left without telling him where she
had gone. So she decided to write him a letter
saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live
with him any more and after writing, put the letter
on the table in the bedroom before hiding under the
bed... When her hubby came back home, he saw the
letter and read it, then he also wrote something on
it then began to sing and dance changing his
clothes. He got his phone, dialled someone then
said: "Hey babe, am just changing clothes then will
join you, as for the other fool it has finally
dawned on her that I was fooling around with her
and has left. I was really wrong to have married
her, I wish I had known you earlier. See you soon
honey!". Then her hubby walked out of the room. In
tears and very upset, she got up from under the
bed and decided to go and read what her hubby
wrote on the letter.When she got the letter, it said:
"I COULD see your feet you idiot, I am going to buy
bread. Stand up, stop your silly games and prepare
me a meal.....
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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