THIS NOTICE was spotted at KARUMAINDO BAR in Nyeri.
1. Ukifanya order, unaturia, usishide umekubusha waiter, yeye ni mutu mzima anakubuka.
2. Ukirewa urewe peke yako, usianze kuiba nyibo za Kigooco huku. Ukitaka kuiba eda crusade.
3. Huku hakuna dancing floor. Kwa hivo usika dance huku, hii ni bar, sio carnivorous(Carnivore)
4. Urinal ziko. Kukonjoa ni sawa. Ukitaka hanja kumbwa, mariza pobe yako uede ukakumie kwako. Huku hakuna choo. Tunauzaga fobe si Ugari.
5. Kufugia waiter jicho uwache. Unamfugia jicho kwani umeskia ni daktari wa macho.
6. Ukinunuria waiter fobe, sio kumaanicha ati utaeda na yeye kwako. Ako hapa kuuza fobe, sio kuuza mwiri, mununurie nauede.
7. Kumwaga mwaga fobe kwa meza tumekataa! Urinunua ukunywe ama umwage, tumia kongocity!
8. Huku hakuna Maraya. Ukitaka maraya kuja na wako, na akuwe maraya anaereweka tafathari.
9. Wakati Mike Rua ama Salim Junia anaiba, tafathari usiibanishe na yeye. NYAMAZA watu warikuja kusikiza Rua, sio wewe. Ukitaka kuiba, tuabie tukutafutie Saturday yako.
10. Kushika shika waiter matako ni hatia! Shikamatako yako, huku si bedroom.
11. Maneno ya CORD na JUBILEE perekeni Fesbuk. Sio hapa!
12. Kuwekewa mchere kwa fobe si kitu kubwa, ukiwekewa, unaitoa na unaederea na Fobe yako kama kawaida.
13. HAKUNA kurara kwa Meza! Meza sio kitada. Kama umerewa, eda ukarare kwako.
14. Ukiibiwa pesa eda ukastaki kwa borithi, si ati ukuje kusubua Manager.
15. Tip ni razima! Kama pesa yako haitoshi ya tip, razima bill irete shida ama ununue fobe take away ukakunywie kwako.
16. Huku hakuna bouncer! Rakini ukireta nyokonyoko tutakunyorosha kama Mukora.
17. Usitapike huku. Hii ni Bar, sio Clinic ya watoto. Unatapika kwani uko na Miba??
By Management.

smh,ok.

....Hii Swenani bure kabisa!

As usual, this thread does not disappoint. Just made my day. Hahaha!

I once asked my friend, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?" He replied,"You should share responsibilities with due
love, and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems. "I asked, "Can you explain?"
He said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues whereas my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's
decisions. "Still not convinced, I asked me him to give me some
examples.
He said, "Smaller issues like how many kids to have, the neighbourhood to live, which car we should buy, how much money to save, who, when and where to visit, which sofa, cooker, refrigerator
to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not, where to go for holidays, whose mum we should visit etc, etc, are decided by my wife. I just agree to it."
I then asked, "So then what is your role?” He said, "My decisions are
only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, the
uranium enrichment in North Korea, whether Britain should lift
sanctions against Zimbabwe, how to fully exploit Africa's economic
and intellectual potential, whether Yoweri Museveni and Barack Obama should retire, whether Arsenal FC needs to buy new players or change their coach to improve their play, whether Usain Bolt should retire now-while still at his prime etc, etc. My wife never objects to
any of these decisions and we live happily!"