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This shit called marriage.
Rank: Member Joined: 4/6/2010 Posts: 741 Location: Nairobi
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I am hoping to venture into marriage in the near future. My parents have been married for more than 30 years and they make a great couple. I have learnt many lessons from them about teamwork, companionship, respect and love. Marriage has its ups and downs but I think its good and it can work if there is a solid foundation.
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Rank: Member Joined: 11/19/2009 Posts: 3,142
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tycho wrote:Swenani wrote:danas10 wrote:Angelica _ann wrote:danas10 wrote:tycho wrote:@Jaggernaut,
you say that if there's a manual for happiness then it extols love,
respect and fidelity. But sometime back I was looking at some premarital
counseling manuals and the counselor was dissuaded from taking 'love'
as a reason for marriage. Reason being that 'love' is often attributed
to positive romantic feeling, rather than also rational grounds that are
sustainable in both the short and long terms, and perhaps to eternity
(but the limit for marriage is death).
Respect. Is it easy for a married couple to respect each other in the
face of time, the great 'winnower' of character, and exposer of destiny?
When people marry, do they form a common destiny? Life has taught us a
mixed lesson on this but most have believed in the differentiation of
destiny. For example, the Indian practice of 'suttee' where the widow
burns herself and joins the husband in the other world. Each is deemed
to have a different destiny. So what would respect entail in such a
situation? To allow the other to be what he/she wants to be? For
example, you have sex whenever you, as an individual wants it; you
didn't say you have when you mutually agree. Is this respect? Can we
have respect without knowledge and understanding? Certainly not in your
case which has no manual for happiness.
Why should one be faithful to another? Does mutuality entail
'faithfulness'? 'As faithful as a dog'.
Frankly, I see no happiness in one who tries to be a dog, when deep
inside she wishes to be a 'god', or even 'God'?
are you married? out of curiosity... As in @Danas you want an answer from @tycho ama ni kuliza tu? Goodluck dada. sio kuuliza tu... if only he could answer...  @Tycho, an opportunity for you to convert @Danas10 to Mrs Tycho.But also remember valentine is 10 days away;Therefore defer answering the question to 15th Feb 2014 I do not wish her such bondage. But together we can have an experience worth a million Valentines. Why have you 'left' Kysse?
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Rank: Member Joined: 11/19/2009 Posts: 3,142
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chepkel wrote:I am hoping to venture into marriage in the near future. My parents have been married for more than 30 years and they make a great couple. I have learnt many lessons from them about teamwork, companionship, respect and love. Marriage has its ups and downs but I think its good and it can work if there is a solid foundation.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/1/2011 Posts: 8,804 Location: Nairobi
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Muriel wrote:tycho wrote:Swenani wrote:danas10 wrote:Angelica _ann wrote:danas10 wrote:tycho wrote:@Jaggernaut,
you say that if there's a manual for happiness then it extols love,
respect and fidelity. But sometime back I was looking at some premarital
counseling manuals and the counselor was dissuaded from taking 'love'
as a reason for marriage. Reason being that 'love' is often attributed
to positive romantic feeling, rather than also rational grounds that are
sustainable in both the short and long terms, and perhaps to eternity
(but the limit for marriage is death).
Respect. Is it easy for a married couple to respect each other in the
face of time, the great 'winnower' of character, and exposer of destiny?
When people marry, do they form a common destiny? Life has taught us a
mixed lesson on this but most have believed in the differentiation of
destiny. For example, the Indian practice of 'suttee' where the widow
burns herself and joins the husband in the other world. Each is deemed
to have a different destiny. So what would respect entail in such a
situation? To allow the other to be what he/she wants to be? For
example, you have sex whenever you, as an individual wants it; you
didn't say you have when you mutually agree. Is this respect? Can we
have respect without knowledge and understanding? Certainly not in your
case which has no manual for happiness.
Why should one be faithful to another? Does mutuality entail
'faithfulness'? 'As faithful as a dog'.
Frankly, I see no happiness in one who tries to be a dog, when deep
inside she wishes to be a 'god', or even 'God'?
are you married? out of curiosity... As in @Danas you want an answer from @tycho ama ni kuliza tu? Goodluck dada. sio kuuliza tu... if only he could answer... @Tycho, an opportunity for you to convert @Danas10 to Mrs Tycho.But also remember valentine is 10 days away;Therefore defer answering the question to 15th Feb 2014 I do not wish her such bondage. But together we can have an experience worth a million Valentines. Why have you 'left' Kysse? Have I? One can't be bound to the free. To all lovers of heaven there's a ring to wear.
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Rank: Member Joined: 11/19/2009 Posts: 3,142
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tycho wrote:Muriel wrote:tycho wrote:Swenani wrote:danas10 wrote:Angelica _ann wrote:danas10 wrote:tycho wrote:@Jaggernaut,
you say that if there's a manual for happiness then it extols love,
respect and fidelity. But sometime back I was looking at some premarital
counseling manuals and the counselor was dissuaded from taking 'love'
as a reason for marriage. Reason being that 'love' is often attributed
to positive romantic feeling, rather than also rational grounds that are
sustainable in both the short and long terms, and perhaps to eternity
(but the limit for marriage is death).
Respect. Is it easy for a married couple to respect each other in the
face of time, the great 'winnower' of character, and exposer of destiny?
When people marry, do they form a common destiny? Life has taught us a
mixed lesson on this but most have believed in the differentiation of
destiny. For example, the Indian practice of 'suttee' where the widow
burns herself and joins the husband in the other world. Each is deemed
to have a different destiny. So what would respect entail in such a
situation? To allow the other to be what he/she wants to be? For
example, you have sex whenever you, as an individual wants it; you
didn't say you have when you mutually agree. Is this respect? Can we
have respect without knowledge and understanding? Certainly not in your
case which has no manual for happiness.
Why should one be faithful to another? Does mutuality entail
'faithfulness'? 'As faithful as a dog'.
Frankly, I see no happiness in one who tries to be a dog, when deep
inside she wishes to be a 'god', or even 'God'?
are you married? out of curiosity... As in @Danas you want an answer from @tycho ama ni kuliza tu? Goodluck dada. sio kuuliza tu... if only he could answer... @Tycho, an opportunity for you to convert @Danas10 to Mrs Tycho.But also remember valentine is 10 days away;Therefore defer answering the question to 15th Feb 2014 I do not wish her such bondage. But together we can have an experience worth a million Valentines. Why have you 'left' Kysse? Have I? One can't be bound to the free. To all lovers of heaven there's a ring to wear. Akuku Danger?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/1/2011 Posts: 8,804 Location: Nairobi
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McReggae wrote:poundfoolish wrote:The Clown wrote:Married for several years.
In my opinion, what sustains a marriage isn't romantic love per se but tolerance and forgiveness. An acceptance that there is only so much one can do to change their spouse's habits.
I have seen marriages withstand infidelity, financial mismanagement and many other ills. I know couples who fight verbally and physically quite often but still stay together when it would be easier to separate.
It seems man and wife come to a balance and accept each other as they are.
Breakdown of the relationship comes when one or both partners is no longer willing to maintain this balance. Another WORD!!! After marriage.. Love gets new definitions wacha ile ya i love you like a fat kid loves cake kinda things. It goes beyond i will cross the oceans and the rivers, kiss the moon yadda yadda yadda stuff. Real love in marriage = tolerance, patience, perseverance,forgiveness, acceptance(relative), kindness, sacrifice. once you hit those notes, marriage is 'bliss'  One day I promised myself, that I'd marry a woman just like my mother and give her all the love she wasn't getting. But I was my father. I took a journey, and saw what he experienced, what he saw and I realized how much what happens deep in the heart, matters even in marriage. And there you are alone before the throne. In a spiritual encounter with the unnameable. What happens in there is the secret behind all happiness or woe. And the keys to this place are knowledge and will to excellence. It's about continuous personal transformation, and finding peace and fulfillment, and eternity. There can be no happiness where there's no truth and nakedness. The land of the living dead.
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Rank: Member Joined: 10/8/2010 Posts: 763 Location: Intersection
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tycho wrote:danas10 wrote:Angelica _ann wrote:danas10 wrote:tycho wrote:@Jaggernaut,
you say that if there's a manual for happiness then it extols love,
respect and fidelity. But sometime back I was looking at some premarital
counseling manuals and the counselor was dissuaded from taking 'love'
as a reason for marriage. Reason being that 'love' is often attributed
to positive romantic feeling, rather than also rational grounds that are
sustainable in both the short and long terms, and perhaps to eternity
(but the limit for marriage is death).
Respect. Is it easy for a married couple to respect each other in the
face of time, the great 'winnower' of character, and exposer of destiny?
When people marry, do they form a common destiny? Life has taught us a
mixed lesson on this but most have believed in the differentiation of
destiny. For example, the Indian practice of 'suttee' where the widow
burns herself and joins the husband in the other world. Each is deemed
to have a different destiny. So what would respect entail in such a
situation? To allow the other to be what he/she wants to be? For
example, you have sex whenever you, as an individual wants it; you
didn't say you have when you mutually agree. Is this respect? Can we
have respect without knowledge and understanding? Certainly not in your
case which has no manual for happiness.
Why should one be faithful to another? Does mutuality entail
'faithfulness'? 'As faithful as a dog'.
Frankly, I see no happiness in one who tries to be a dog, when deep
inside she wishes to be a 'god', or even 'God'?
are you married? out of curiosity... As in @Danas you want an answer from @tycho ama ni kuliza tu? Goodluck dada. sio kuuliza tu... if only he could answer... Yes. To 'heaven'. Do you wish to join in the dance of the free? Here's my hand. 'out of curiosity' replaced 'the real marriage between a man and a woman'...that was my first thought. i changed my mind. i shouldn't have. can i reask the question? @swenani.... wicked.
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Rank: Member Joined: 11/19/2009 Posts: 3,142
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tycho wrote:McReggae wrote:poundfoolish wrote:The Clown wrote:Married for several years.
In my opinion, what sustains a marriage isn't romantic love per se but tolerance and forgiveness. An acceptance that there is only so much one can do to change their spouse's habits.
I have seen marriages withstand infidelity, financial mismanagement and many other ills. I know couples who fight verbally and physically quite often but still stay together when it would be easier to separate.
It seems man and wife come to a balance and accept each other as they are.
Breakdown of the relationship comes when one or both partners is no longer willing to maintain this balance. Another WORD!!! After marriage.. Love gets new definitions wacha ile ya i love you like a fat kid loves cake kinda things. It goes beyond i will cross the oceans and the rivers, kiss the moon yadda yadda yadda stuff. Real love in marriage = tolerance, patience, perseverance,forgiveness, acceptance(relative), kindness, sacrifice. once you hit those notes, marriage is 'bliss' One day I promised myself, that I'd marry a woman just like my mother and give her all the love she wasn't getting. There can be no happiness where there's no truth and nakedness. Last question. The woman is available over many women? Danas10, your question hasn't been overtaken by events. lol.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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Now @Tycho and @Muriel have descended here I join #kusomatucorner!!!!! ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/1/2011 Posts: 8,804 Location: Nairobi
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Muriel wrote:tycho wrote:McReggae wrote:poundfoolish wrote:The Clown wrote:Married for several years.
In my opinion, what sustains a marriage isn't romantic love per se but tolerance and forgiveness. An acceptance that there is only so much one can do to change their spouse's habits.
I have seen marriages withstand infidelity, financial mismanagement and many other ills. I know couples who fight verbally and physically quite often but still stay together when it would be easier to separate.
It seems man and wife come to a balance and accept each other as they are.
Breakdown of the relationship comes when one or both partners is no longer willing to maintain this balance. Another WORD!!! After marriage.. Love gets new definitions wacha ile ya i love you like a fat kid loves cake kinda things. It goes beyond i will cross the oceans and the rivers, kiss the moon yadda yadda yadda stuff. Real love in marriage = tolerance, patience, perseverance,forgiveness, acceptance(relative), kindness, sacrifice. once you hit those notes, marriage is 'bliss' One day I promised myself, that I'd marry a woman just like my mother and give her all the love she wasn't getting. There can be no happiness where there's no truth and nakedness. Last question. The woman is available over many women? Danas10, your question hasn't been overtaken by events. lol. Come to the point of no woman; no man. God.
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