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This shit called marriage.
Rank: Elder Joined: 12/7/2012 Posts: 11,937
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danas10 wrote:tycho wrote:@Jaggernaut,
you say that if there's a manual for happiness then it extols love,
respect and fidelity. But sometime back I was looking at some premarital
counseling manuals and the counselor was dissuaded from taking 'love'
as a reason for marriage. Reason being that 'love' is often attributed
to positive romantic feeling, rather than also rational grounds that are
sustainable in both the short and long terms, and perhaps to eternity
(but the limit for marriage is death).
Respect. Is it easy for a married couple to respect each other in the
face of time, the great 'winnower' of character, and exposer of destiny?
When people marry, do they form a common destiny? Life has taught us a
mixed lesson on this but most have believed in the differentiation of
destiny. For example, the Indian practice of 'suttee' where the widow
burns herself and joins the husband in the other world. Each is deemed
to have a different destiny. So what would respect entail in such a
situation? To allow the other to be what he/she wants to be? For
example, you have sex whenever you, as an individual wants it; you
didn't say you have when you mutually agree. Is this respect? Can we
have respect without knowledge and understanding? Certainly not in your
case which has no manual for happiness.
Why should one be faithful to another? Does mutuality entail
'faithfulness'? 'As faithful as a dog'.
Frankly, I see no happiness in one who tries to be a dog, when deep
inside she wishes to be a 'god', or even 'God'?
are you married? out of curiosity... As in @Danas you want an answer from @tycho ama ni kuliza tu? Goodluck dada. In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins - cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later - H Geneen
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Rank: Member Joined: 8/24/2013 Posts: 185 Location: Diaspora
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Married for several years.
In my opinion, what sustains a marriage isn't romantic love per se but tolerance and forgiveness. An acceptance that there is only so much one can do to change their spouse's habits.
I have seen marriages withstand infidelity, financial mismanagement and many other ills. I know couples who fight verbally and physically quite often but still stay together when it would be easier to separate.
It seems man and wife come to a balance and accept each other as they are.
Breakdown of the relationship comes when one or both partners is no longer willing to maintain this balance.
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Rank: Member Joined: 10/8/2010 Posts: 763 Location: Intersection
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Angelica _ann wrote:danas10 wrote:tycho wrote:@Jaggernaut,
you say that if there's a manual for happiness then it extols love,
respect and fidelity. But sometime back I was looking at some premarital
counseling manuals and the counselor was dissuaded from taking 'love'
as a reason for marriage. Reason being that 'love' is often attributed
to positive romantic feeling, rather than also rational grounds that are
sustainable in both the short and long terms, and perhaps to eternity
(but the limit for marriage is death).
Respect. Is it easy for a married couple to respect each other in the
face of time, the great 'winnower' of character, and exposer of destiny?
When people marry, do they form a common destiny? Life has taught us a
mixed lesson on this but most have believed in the differentiation of
destiny. For example, the Indian practice of 'suttee' where the widow
burns herself and joins the husband in the other world. Each is deemed
to have a different destiny. So what would respect entail in such a
situation? To allow the other to be what he/she wants to be? For
example, you have sex whenever you, as an individual wants it; you
didn't say you have when you mutually agree. Is this respect? Can we
have respect without knowledge and understanding? Certainly not in your
case which has no manual for happiness.
Why should one be faithful to another? Does mutuality entail
'faithfulness'? 'As faithful as a dog'.
Frankly, I see no happiness in one who tries to be a dog, when deep
inside she wishes to be a 'god', or even 'God'?
are you married? out of curiosity... As in @Danas you want an answer from @tycho ama ni kuliza tu? Goodluck dada. sio kuuliza tu... if only he could answer... 
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Rank: Member Joined: 12/2/2013 Posts: 387
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danas10 wrote:Angelica _ann wrote:danas10 wrote:tycho wrote:@Jaggernaut,
you say that if there's a manual for happiness then it extols love,
respect and fidelity. But sometime back I was looking at some premarital
counseling manuals and the counselor was dissuaded from taking 'love'
as a reason for marriage. Reason being that 'love' is often attributed
to positive romantic feeling, rather than also rational grounds that are
sustainable in both the short and long terms, and perhaps to eternity
(but the limit for marriage is death).
Respect. Is it easy for a married couple to respect each other in the
face of time, the great 'winnower' of character, and exposer of destiny?
When people marry, do they form a common destiny? Life has taught us a
mixed lesson on this but most have believed in the differentiation of
destiny. For example, the Indian practice of 'suttee' where the widow
burns herself and joins the husband in the other world. Each is deemed
to have a different destiny. So what would respect entail in such a
situation? To allow the other to be what he/she wants to be? For
example, you have sex whenever you, as an individual wants it; you
didn't say you have when you mutually agree. Is this respect? Can we
have respect without knowledge and understanding? Certainly not in your
case which has no manual for happiness.
Why should one be faithful to another? Does mutuality entail
'faithfulness'? 'As faithful as a dog'.
Frankly, I see no happiness in one who tries to be a dog, when deep
inside she wishes to be a 'god', or even 'God'?
are you married? out of curiosity... As in @Danas you want an answer from @tycho ama ni kuliza tu? Goodluck dada. sio kuuliza tu... if only he could answer... Danas Illmatic
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Rank: User Joined: 8/15/2013 Posts: 13,237 Location: Vacuum
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danas10 wrote:Angelica _ann wrote:danas10 wrote:tycho wrote:@Jaggernaut,
you say that if there's a manual for happiness then it extols love,
respect and fidelity. But sometime back I was looking at some premarital
counseling manuals and the counselor was dissuaded from taking 'love'
as a reason for marriage. Reason being that 'love' is often attributed
to positive romantic feeling, rather than also rational grounds that are
sustainable in both the short and long terms, and perhaps to eternity
(but the limit for marriage is death).
Respect. Is it easy for a married couple to respect each other in the
face of time, the great 'winnower' of character, and exposer of destiny?
When people marry, do they form a common destiny? Life has taught us a
mixed lesson on this but most have believed in the differentiation of
destiny. For example, the Indian practice of 'suttee' where the widow
burns herself and joins the husband in the other world. Each is deemed
to have a different destiny. So what would respect entail in such a
situation? To allow the other to be what he/she wants to be? For
example, you have sex whenever you, as an individual wants it; you
didn't say you have when you mutually agree. Is this respect? Can we
have respect without knowledge and understanding? Certainly not in your
case which has no manual for happiness.
Why should one be faithful to another? Does mutuality entail
'faithfulness'? 'As faithful as a dog'.
Frankly, I see no happiness in one who tries to be a dog, when deep
inside she wishes to be a 'god', or even 'God'?
are you married? out of curiosity... As in @Danas you want an answer from @tycho ama ni kuliza tu? Goodluck dada. sio kuuliza tu... if only he could answer... @Tycho, an opportunity for you to convert @Danas10 to Mrs Tycho.But also remember valentine is 10 days away;Therefore defer answering the question to 15th Feb 2014 If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/1/2011 Posts: 8,804 Location: Nairobi
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danas10 wrote:Angelica _ann wrote:danas10 wrote:tycho wrote:@Jaggernaut,
you say that if there's a manual for happiness then it extols love,
respect and fidelity. But sometime back I was looking at some premarital
counseling manuals and the counselor was dissuaded from taking 'love'
as a reason for marriage. Reason being that 'love' is often attributed
to positive romantic feeling, rather than also rational grounds that are
sustainable in both the short and long terms, and perhaps to eternity
(but the limit for marriage is death).
Respect. Is it easy for a married couple to respect each other in the
face of time, the great 'winnower' of character, and exposer of destiny?
When people marry, do they form a common destiny? Life has taught us a
mixed lesson on this but most have believed in the differentiation of
destiny. For example, the Indian practice of 'suttee' where the widow
burns herself and joins the husband in the other world. Each is deemed
to have a different destiny. So what would respect entail in such a
situation? To allow the other to be what he/she wants to be? For
example, you have sex whenever you, as an individual wants it; you
didn't say you have when you mutually agree. Is this respect? Can we
have respect without knowledge and understanding? Certainly not in your
case which has no manual for happiness.
Why should one be faithful to another? Does mutuality entail
'faithfulness'? 'As faithful as a dog'.
Frankly, I see no happiness in one who tries to be a dog, when deep
inside she wishes to be a 'god', or even 'God'?
are you married? out of curiosity... As in @Danas you want an answer from @tycho ama ni kuliza tu? Goodluck dada. sio kuuliza tu... if only he could answer... Yes. To 'heaven'. Do you wish to join in the dance of the free? Here's my hand.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/21/2008 Posts: 2,490
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tycho wrote:danas10 wrote:Angelica _ann wrote:danas10 wrote:tycho wrote:@Jaggernaut,
you say that if there's a manual for happiness then it extols love,
respect and fidelity. But sometime back I was looking at some premarital
counseling manuals and the counselor was dissuaded from taking 'love'
as a reason for marriage. Reason being that 'love' is often attributed
to positive romantic feeling, rather than also rational grounds that are
sustainable in both the short and long terms, and perhaps to eternity
(but the limit for marriage is death).
Respect. Is it easy for a married couple to respect each other in the
face of time, the great 'winnower' of character, and exposer of destiny?
When people marry, do they form a common destiny? Life has taught us a
mixed lesson on this but most have believed in the differentiation of
destiny. For example, the Indian practice of 'suttee' where the widow
burns herself and joins the husband in the other world. Each is deemed
to have a different destiny. So what would respect entail in such a
situation? To allow the other to be what he/she wants to be? For
example, you have sex whenever you, as an individual wants it; you
didn't say you have when you mutually agree. Is this respect? Can we
have respect without knowledge and understanding? Certainly not in your
case which has no manual for happiness.
Why should one be faithful to another? Does mutuality entail
'faithfulness'? 'As faithful as a dog'.
Frankly, I see no happiness in one who tries to be a dog, when deep
inside she wishes to be a 'god', or even 'God'?
are you married? out of curiosity... As in @Danas you want an answer from @tycho ama ni kuliza tu? Goodluck dada. sio kuuliza tu... if only he could answer... Yes. To 'heaven'. Do you wish to join in the dance of the free? Here's my hand.  The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/1/2011 Posts: 8,804 Location: Nairobi
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Swenani wrote:danas10 wrote:Angelica _ann wrote:danas10 wrote:tycho wrote:@Jaggernaut,
you say that if there's a manual for happiness then it extols love,
respect and fidelity. But sometime back I was looking at some premarital
counseling manuals and the counselor was dissuaded from taking 'love'
as a reason for marriage. Reason being that 'love' is often attributed
to positive romantic feeling, rather than also rational grounds that are
sustainable in both the short and long terms, and perhaps to eternity
(but the limit for marriage is death).
Respect. Is it easy for a married couple to respect each other in the
face of time, the great 'winnower' of character, and exposer of destiny?
When people marry, do they form a common destiny? Life has taught us a
mixed lesson on this but most have believed in the differentiation of
destiny. For example, the Indian practice of 'suttee' where the widow
burns herself and joins the husband in the other world. Each is deemed
to have a different destiny. So what would respect entail in such a
situation? To allow the other to be what he/she wants to be? For
example, you have sex whenever you, as an individual wants it; you
didn't say you have when you mutually agree. Is this respect? Can we
have respect without knowledge and understanding? Certainly not in your
case which has no manual for happiness.
Why should one be faithful to another? Does mutuality entail
'faithfulness'? 'As faithful as a dog'.
Frankly, I see no happiness in one who tries to be a dog, when deep
inside she wishes to be a 'god', or even 'God'?
are you married? out of curiosity... As in @Danas you want an answer from @tycho ama ni kuliza tu? Goodluck dada. sio kuuliza tu... if only he could answer... @Tycho, an opportunity for you to convert @Danas10 to Mrs Tycho.But also remember valentine is 10 days away;Therefore defer answering the question to 15th Feb 2014 I do not wish her such bondage. But together we can have an experience worth a million Valentines.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/2/2009 Posts: 2,458 Location: Nairobi
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The Clown wrote:Married for several years.
In my opinion, what sustains a marriage isn't romantic love per se but tolerance and forgiveness. An acceptance that there is only so much one can do to change their spouse's habits.
I have seen marriages withstand infidelity, financial mismanagement and many other ills. I know couples who fight verbally and physically quite often but still stay together when it would be easier to separate.
It seems man and wife come to a balance and accept each other as they are.
Breakdown of the relationship comes when one or both partners is no longer willing to maintain this balance. Another WORD!!! After marriage.. Love gets new definitions wacha ile ya i love you like a fat kid loves cake kinda things. It goes beyond i will cross the oceans and the rivers, kiss the moon yadda yadda yadda stuff. Real love in marriage = tolerance, patience, perseverance,forgiveness, acceptance(relative), kindness, sacrifice. once you hit those notes, marriage is 'bliss'
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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poundfoolish wrote:The Clown wrote:Married for several years.
In my opinion, what sustains a marriage isn't romantic love per se but tolerance and forgiveness. An acceptance that there is only so much one can do to change their spouse's habits.
I have seen marriages withstand infidelity, financial mismanagement and many other ills. I know couples who fight verbally and physically quite often but still stay together when it would be easier to separate.
It seems man and wife come to a balance and accept each other as they are.
Breakdown of the relationship comes when one or both partners is no longer willing to maintain this balance. Another WORD!!! After marriage.. Love gets new definitions wacha ile ya i love you like a fat kid loves cake kinda things. It goes beyond i will cross the oceans and the rivers, kiss the moon yadda yadda yadda stuff. Real love in marriage = tolerance, patience, perseverance,forgiveness, acceptance(relative), kindness, sacrifice. once you hit those notes, marriage is 'bliss'  ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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This shit called marriage.
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