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Matrimonial gymnastics Pt II....dangerous emotions
Rank: Elder Joined: 2/27/2007 Posts: 2,768
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XSK wrote:segemia wrote:Mist wrote:There's more than meets the eye here @segemia , go back to "this" man and ask him man to man what he is not telling you. You are obligated to go back and help him out kabisa cause you are already in too deep  I did try that when things started happening, but what I have written here is all that he has told me. I have no reason not to trust him after all we have shared alot in the past. There is a limit of this conflict to which I cannot go beyond and I would not want to be left there at the centre wondering what hit me when the birds flock together. This might as well be what will give me sleepless nights!! @segemia Have you paused to ponder if this man and woman also visit wazua? A good question... ...besides, the presence of a safe alone does not signify that there is money inside...
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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XSK wrote:segemia wrote:Mist wrote:There's more than meets the eye here @segemia , go back to "this" man and ask him man to man what he is not telling you. You are obligated to go back and help him out kabisa cause you are already in too deep I did try that when things started happening, but what I have written here is all that he has told me. I have no reason not to trust him after all we have shared alot in the past. There is a limit of this conflict to which I cannot go beyond and I would not want to be left there at the centre wondering what hit me when the birds flock together. This might as well be what will give me sleepless nights!! @segemia Have you paused to ponder if this man and woman also visit wazua? Hehehe, Are you one of them? ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/27/2007 Posts: 2,768
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McReggae wrote:XSK wrote:segemia wrote:Mist wrote:There's more than meets the eye here @segemia , go back to "this" man and ask him man to man what he is not telling you. You are obligated to go back and help him out kabisa cause you are already in too deep I did try that when things started happening, but what I have written here is all that he has told me. I have no reason not to trust him after all we have shared alot in the past. There is a limit of this conflict to which I cannot go beyond and I would not want to be left there at the centre wondering what hit me when the birds flock together. This might as well be what will give me sleepless nights!! @segemia Have you paused to ponder if this man and woman also visit wazua? Hehehe, Are you one of them?   ...besides, the presence of a safe alone does not signify that there is money inside...
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Rank: Member Joined: 2/27/2011 Posts: 518
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XSK wrote:segemia wrote:Mist wrote:There's more than meets the eye here @segemia , go back to "this" man and ask him man to man what he is not telling you. You are obligated to go back and help him out kabisa cause you are already in too deep I did try that when things started happening, but what I have written here is all that he has told me. I have no reason not to trust him after all we have shared alot in the past. There is a limit of this conflict to which I cannot go beyond and I would not want to be left there at the centre wondering what hit me when the birds flock together. This might as well be what will give me sleepless nights!! @segemia Have you paused to ponder if this man and woman also visit wazua? In my opinion... the better. Let them bring their domez here and we will get to see both sides of the story. There was such a story some years back on sk when a couple brought their domex hapa hapa... let me see if i can get the link 
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2007 Posts: 8,776 Location: Cameroon
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segemia wrote:Actually the man sold some of the assets which he called non-essential to fund the basic family needs which their salaries could not, high school fees, high utility bills, expensive eating out habits, vehicles fueling and maintenance etc.
For example the man claimed that his monthly electricity bill was never below kshs 15k and sometimes if the wife's nieces and nephews came along, it would shoot to ksh20k. After the actions that he took it reduced to about kshs 6k.
Fueling of the vehicles was costing him about kshs 40k per month for both the vehicles. One car would reduce this to just about a half, kshs 20k!
Any time they went to eat out they would spend about kshs 3.5 in a sitting, two times a week makes kshs 7k and monthly bill kshs 28k.
I don't know whether the figures were exergerated because I am only quoting what I was told by the man.
Very expensive lifestyle for a struggling couple. TULIA.........UFUNZWE!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/2/2009 Posts: 2,458 Location: Nairobi
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segemia wrote:McReggae wrote:Kaigangio wrote:segemia wrote:Kaigangio wrote:My advise to the man is: 1. The lady just vacated her matrimonial home out of her own volition and as such he should not go out looking for her... 2. He should cut all communications channels and links from her. If she calls he should not pick that phone, if she SMSses he should not reply and if she emails him he should not reply. If she sends out an emissary, he should turn them down and not discuss anything to do with this circus. 3. He should let the lady settle all the children's school fees bills and other expenses pertaining to the well being of the children. No matter what the lady communicates to him with regard to financial demands he should ignore completely and not bother to reply. 4. He should not allow that lady to get back to his house in his absence and without laying down the come back terms. Besides, she should come back accompanied by her parents and it is the man who should give them an appointment which should be at a convenient day to him, not her. As of now if it is possible he should change the locks for all the entrance doors into the house including the gate. He should hire a company soldier to look after the property and to report any forced access into the compound to the police. 5. Most likely the parents from both sides might call regarding this issue. He should tell them that he is not willing to discuss anything with them unless she is at her matrimonial home and they are present too in those discussions. 6. The lady is still his wife officially, but has chosen to desert him for unknown reason and destination. He does not know what she is doing or intends to do out there, therefore I suggest he takes stock of all his property and proceed to put caveats emptors on them. 7. At this stage he may not be able to bring in another woman unless the current marriage is dissolved. So, what to do??. From the narration given the wife is probably protesting something or is upto something. Therefore the man should prepare his defenses very well indeed if the lady chooses to come back. He will be hit with a bucket full of deep s**t when the lady starts to narrate the ordeal and the hell she has gone through (that the man is not aware of) since she got married to the man. He should also be prepared to be accused of a wrong doing that he committed one day after marrying the lady... 8. @segemia, if 1,2,3,4 and 5 is carried out by the man, be prepared to be the lady's saviour.. How now???? By marrying her or what??Ebu fafanua! Look at it this way... 1. If the lady had the intention of leaving the man in search of greener pastures and got there, then she would be the luckiest woman on earth... If she did not go for another man, then the man should wait for her to come back!!! for another man to accept train engine and the boggies....ngumu sana!!! 2. If the lady was taking off in anticipation that the man would go and look for her, then I am afraid she will be in for a rude shock when that does not happen. Since she cannot communicate to the man directly or indirectly, yaani she is completely shut off, there is no way she will go to Eldoret. She would rather go to the matrimonial home and the man finds her there...the rest is as easy as ABC. Now the tricky bit is she tries her luck and goes to the matrimonial home only to find a rungu wielding, red eyed muscular soldier at the gate...What to do?? She becomes really desperate...She cannot get and talk to the man...she cannot access her matrimonial home...and wherever she is housed either at a sister's, brother's, parent's or even friend's she is under pressure to leave and go back to her home. just like a tired bird which can land on any tree including thorny ones, she will pick on you neighbour segemia. She knows far too well that you do communicate with the husband and as such she will expect you to intercede on her behalf...  Haiyaiyaiyaiyaiyaiyaiii!!!Mtego wa panya huu unaonasa hata nyoka!!! Kumbe wewe ndio nyoka?
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 2/21/2012 Posts: 1,739
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segemia wrote:Actually the man sold some of the assets which he called non-essential to fund the basic family needs which their salaries could not, high school fees, high utility bills, expensive eating out habits, vehicles fueling and maintenance etc.
For example the man claimed that his monthly electricity bill was never below kshs 15k and sometimes if the wife's nieces and nephews came along, it would shoot to ksh20k. After the actions that he took it reduced to about kshs 6k.
Fueling of the vehicles was costing him about kshs 40k per month for both the vehicles. One car would reduce this to just about a half, kshs 20k!
Any time they went to eat out they would spend about kshs 3.5 in a sitting, two times a week makes kshs 7k and monthly bill kshs 28k.
I don't know whether the figures were exergerated because I am only quoting what I was told by the man.
Fuel Costing 40K is of course Normal, so 20K per car per month. Eating out and spending 3.5K is very okay - Lakini hapo Juu Jamaa hakusema Ukweli. How on earth can one incur 15-20K on electricity? Kwani they had a Coffee Mill in the house. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God..
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 2/12/2008 Posts: 1,178
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@Segemia. Seems you have bought the man's story hook, line and sinker. Unless you are the man in the story you should try and be neutral..
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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Am wrote:segemia wrote:Actually the man sold some of the assets which he called non-essential to fund the basic family needs which their salaries could not, high school fees, high utility bills, expensive eating out habits, vehicles fueling and maintenance etc.
For example the man claimed that his monthly electricity bill was never below kshs 15k and sometimes if the wife's nieces and nephews came along, it would shoot to ksh20k. After the actions that he took it reduced to about kshs 6k.
Fueling of the vehicles was costing him about kshs 40k per month for both the vehicles. One car would reduce this to just about a half, kshs 20k!
Any time they went to eat out they would spend about kshs 3.5 in a sitting, two times a week makes kshs 7k and monthly bill kshs 28k.
I don't know whether the figures were exergerated because I am only quoting what I was told by the man.
Fuel Costing 40K is of course Normal, so 20K per car per month. Eating out and spending 3.5K is very okay - Lakini hapo Juu Jamaa hakusema Ukweli. How on earth can one incur 15-20K on electricity? Kwani they had a Coffee Mill in the house. Hehhe eti 20k for elec yet the dude had one micro wave and some instant heaters, aka in Ohio freezer? Uwongo mtupu! ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/8/2009 Posts: 975 Location: Nairobi
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McReggae wrote:XSK wrote:segemia wrote:Mist wrote:There's more than meets the eye here @segemia , go back to "this" man and ask him man to man what he is not telling you. You are obligated to go back and help him out kabisa cause you are already in too deep I did try that when things started happening, but what I have written here is all that he has told me. I have no reason not to trust him after all we have shared alot in the past. There is a limit of this conflict to which I cannot go beyond and I would not want to be left there at the centre wondering what hit me when the birds flock together. This might as well be what will give me sleepless nights!! @segemia Have you paused to ponder if this man and woman also visit wazua? Hehehe, Are you one of them? Does my question make me one of them? You will know that you have arrived when money and time are not mutually exclusive "events" in you life!
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