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Matrimonial gymnastics Pt II....dangerous emotions
Mchanganuzi
#81 Posted : Tuesday, January 21, 2014 11:29:51 AM
Rank: New-farer

Joined: 1/16/2013
Posts: 46
dossy7 wrote:
When a woman leaves her matrimonial home for whatever reason then she must not be allowed to come back.

Applause Applause Applause Well said and will repeat that point with some moderation to get it home; A woman who leaves her matrimonial home for any reason other than violence should never ever be allowed back. I believe anything else can be solved. I have been there.
simonkabz
#82 Posted : Tuesday, January 21, 2014 11:31:46 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 3/2/2007
Posts: 8,776
Location: Cameroon
This guy obviously got into serious financial distress.....that was his bane....
TULIA.........UFUNZWE!
Angelica _ann
#83 Posted : Tuesday, January 21, 2014 11:38:55 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 12/7/2012
Posts: 11,937
@Ngogoyo is peeping, any word of advice bro?
In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins - cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later - H Geneen
Edyj
#84 Posted : Tuesday, January 21, 2014 11:42:56 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 6/15/2010
Posts: 126
segemia wrote:
Bigchick wrote:
marko wrote:
Mimi bibi akijifukuza sitamtafuta. Acha akae na babake. I would not advice him to go beg her to come back even for the sake of the children. She left him and took the kids for a bloody car and she was not even one losing one. She may end up doing worse if she were to come back. By her moving out and clearing the house in the process, she spoke with her actions. He is useless to her. Accept and move on.

Huyo ni bibi mang'aa. Mabibi ni kama watoto wakubwa na hajapigiliwa na msumari.




Easier said.

My advise.Let them give each other time.When they have both healed it will be easier to seat and talk.

If madam has not found a richer man she will come back.Hii ni mahangaiko tuu ya dunia.

Those demonic things that afflict families once in a while.

This is hoping your neighbour told you the truth.

But if there is a lie and maybe your jirani has a kamama in Eldy.....the story will be abit long.


If the lady went out to look for a richer man then she should never come back whether she finds one or not. her heart is simply not with the husband.




Sure Applause Applause Applause Applause
"The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score". - Bill Copeland

Ngogoyo
#85 Posted : Tuesday, January 21, 2014 12:17:12 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 6/22/2011
Posts: 561
Location: House
Angelica _ann wrote:
@Ngogoyo is peeping, any word of advice bro?


@Angelica... haha.

1. Alienda kwa hiari yake, wacha aende na asirundi (not unless ni violence from hubby)

2. Asioe mwingine lakini atafute fish to kill the days. No live-in fish. This will prevent legal issues

3. Its good that she left when he can pull through in life. Imagine kama angeachwa at 60 (it happens). If diff' cant be reconciled, make it legal and move on.

4. If his conscious is clear she should never let her come back.
You let your wife control you and you are done. Don't treat your wife like material property

Be the head.
MKWASI
#86 Posted : Tuesday, January 21, 2014 1:01:14 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 4/20/2012
Posts: 888
My perspective is rather different.

The lady should have done that long time ago. I do no think the lady has another loaded Jamaa out there!!

My reasoning is as follows,

The property was acquired by the two fellows, from your story concurrence ought to have been sought on what to sell and what to do with the extra cash.

My thinking is this a lady cannot sit pretty as you sell one household item after another. Her thinking is simple, you may just sell everything and finally sell her(acquire another fish).

I think the guy should have agreed with the lady that financial resources cannot suffice their current expenditure. Perhaps tell the lady to come up with a comprehensive plan of how to reduce the expenditure to....give her a target. If she can't reduce the expenditure tell her she will be the one footing the extra expenses.

What to do...

Get a good mediator initiate a meeting, discuss the issues and let the lady come back. I'm assuming there are no other fundamental issues.

Next time let the guy know he can't just sell the assets just like that; there must be consultations, consultations, consultations and concurrence. At this age and times it is a nusu mkate marriage one cannot get away with it..it is just real/ factual unless you marry the village girl and that village girl may one time surprise you.

By the way what was the guy doing with the funds after selling the assets? ( Perhaps the lady could not see what he was doing with the extra cash!!)

Tell the man even if he marrys another lady; wembe ni ule ule....





nyangao
#87 Posted : Tuesday, January 21, 2014 1:21:07 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 6/26/2008
Posts: 190
"By the way what was the guy doing with the funds after selling the assets? ( Perhaps the lady could not see what he was doing with the extra cash!!)"

Maybe try live the earlier lifestyle after coercion from the wife,
Intelligentsia
#88 Posted : Tuesday, January 21, 2014 1:40:12 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/1/2009
Posts: 2,436
Methinks this Elddy dude is actually @Segemia - umeona vile anajua too many tu-details that a person focussing on the bigger picture of a r'ship would not ordinarily remember that clearly (such as the 4,680/= salo,his tv in Eldy, plus he identifies far too closely with the neighbour's actual reactions/ emotions at each of the stages that only someone who has actually passd through this would). Methinks this is the juicy part,that its him asking for advise in a round-about/ back-door manner.

But I agree that once a woman leave her abode, don't go chasing after her - often those leavin want to see if someone 'cares or loves them enough' to follow them.

Angelica _ann
#89 Posted : Tuesday, January 21, 2014 1:45:46 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 12/7/2012
Posts: 11,937
Intelligentsia wrote:
Methinks this Elddy dude is actually @Segemia - umeona vile anajua too many tu-details that a person focussing on the bigger picture of a r'ship would not ordinarily remember that clearly (such as the 4,680/= salo,his tv in Eldy, plus he identifies far too closely with the neighbour's actual reactions/ emotions at each of the stages that only someone who has actually passd through this would). Methinks this is the juicy part,that its him asking for advise in a round-about/ back-door manner.

But I agree that once a woman leave her abode, don't go chasing after her - often those leavin want to see if someone 'cares or loves them enough' to follow them.



Even the wife's linage is soo clear that it cannot be neigbourly issues.
In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins - cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later - H Geneen
segemia
#90 Posted : Tuesday, January 21, 2014 1:54:49 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 2/20/2009
Posts: 658
Actually the man sold some of the assets which he called non-essential to fund the basic family needs which their salaries could not, high school fees, high utility bills, expensive eating out habits, vehicles fueling and maintenance etc.

For example the man claimed that his monthly electricity bill was never below kshs 15k and sometimes if the wife's nieces and nephews came along, it would shoot to ksh20k. After the actions that he took it reduced to about kshs 6k.

Fueling of the vehicles was costing him about kshs 40k per month for both the vehicles. One car would reduce this to just about a half, kshs 20k!

Any time they went to eat out they would spend about kshs 3.5 in a sitting, two times a week makes kshs 7k and monthly bill kshs 28k.

I don't know whether the figures were exergerated because I am only quoting what I was told by the man.

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