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The joy of knowing that I'm a Killer
tycho
#1 Posted : Wednesday, December 04, 2013 5:44:16 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
I don't understand why it's taken me so long to know and accept that am a killer. But I realize that the more I hide this fact from myself and to others, the more my life is fettered and painful and full of wandering.

But seeing the truth of the matter is so liberating. On this realization Cain's curse is unravelled.

I wonder if I can ever stop being a killer, and the answer is enough to help me complete the tower of Babel. The answer puts me in Alexander's shoes, of rebuilding the tower afresh. In fact, the rebuilding is complete.

Only the tower is now called 'the tower of divine union'.
chemos
#2 Posted : Wednesday, December 04, 2013 5:49:55 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 11/28/2006
Posts: 1,799
tycho wrote:
I don't understand why it's taken me so long to know and accept that am a killer. But I realize that the more I hide this fact from myself and to others, the more my life is fettered and painful and full of wandering.

But seeing the truth of the matter is so liberating. On this realization Cain's curse is unravelled.

I wonder if I can ever stop being a killer, and the answer is enough to help me complete the tower of Babel. The answer puts me in Alexander's shoes, of rebuilding the tower afresh. In fact, the rebuilding is complete.

Only the tower is now called 'the tower of divine union'.



Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
kysse
#3 Posted : Wednesday, December 04, 2013 7:54:52 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 1/17/2013
Posts: 4,693
Location: Earth
Whom have you killed? dreams/ambitions/desires?
flesh?
What makes you believe that you are a killer?
Mukiri
#4 Posted : Wednesday, December 04, 2013 8:09:00 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/11/2012
Posts: 5,222
I hope we have policemen or someone who can trace this.

Proverbs 19:21
kysse
#5 Posted : Wednesday, December 04, 2013 8:18:40 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 1/17/2013
Posts: 4,693
Location: Earth
Mukiri wrote:
I hope we have policemen or someone who can trace this.


You are always quick to conclude.Tycho's def of killing is not the same as yours.
And fyi,this place has cops.If you doubt that http://www.askmawinder.com




tycho
#6 Posted : Wednesday, December 04, 2013 10:59:19 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
kysse wrote:
Whom have you killed? dreams/ambitions/desires?
flesh?
What makes you believe that you are a killer?


I have killed other people @kysse, and also killed myself. It's a hidden matter really, I only got to know it in the most unexpected way.

You remember I said some time back that my student incurred my wrath when I discovered that he was a thief. . . well, he went on exile and left me with many unanswered questions.

Then as if that wasn't enough I found myself in a similar but more demanding situation.

It was in the evening and I was in the house. Then I heard my neighbor shouting 'thief!' I ran out. Why I ran out I do not know. I thought I was going to help. But help who?

I saw that one of the robbers had been apprehended and was been dragged on the ground. Then I saw a 'huge' stone landing on him.

'Stop!' I said. Then weakly added that arresting him would be the best thing to do. But deep inside I doubted the logic. Meanwhile the young man was receiving more blows from more people who had come to help.

I said 'stop' again. There was some resistance at first but the beating stopped. I went over to the young man on the ground, and rolled him over with my foot. I wanted to see his face. He looked familiar.

'They had a gun'. My neighbor said. So I frisked the young man. No weapon.

'Let's kill him. If we let him go he'll seek revenge'. Someone said. I couldn't make a move. I couldn't even think.

Then something interesting happened. A group of young men came and demanded to see our victim, and immediately embarked on a rescue mission. 'What right, have you to kill?' They asked. I peered and saw that they were my friends. I saw it fit to let them finish their rescue. No one resisted them. Especially when it appeared that they were also ready to fight. Probably kill.

The next day I learnt that the young man was alive. I felt relieved. But then a certain old man came to me days later and said that the young man had died. I disputed. But then a thought struck me; what if the young man was dead? Was I responsible for the death? That's when I realized that saying 'don't kill' was just as good as killing him. And that raising a finger against anyone is equal to killing. So. is directing anger at a person, or not wishing him well. And these are the kinds of things I've been doing all my life though I've been hiding it even from myself.
kysse
#7 Posted : Thursday, December 05, 2013 12:12:56 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 1/17/2013
Posts: 4,693
Location: Earth
Tycho Please stop complicating your own life.
Your own deep thoughts are strangling you.

That story...is simple and normal,yet you complicate it by separating yourself and creating a theory to make yourself feel;

-vulnerable
-special
-weak/evil

Why? yet there are many people doing exactly the same thing you did but they don't think about it at all.

Why can't you just live and enjoy the simple things of life without having to think them over and over? See not everything in life deserves explanations.
The sun is yellow fullstop, stop asking why it's not black because,honestly how will the answer change your life? will it add to your Account or make you glitter? if it won't,then it's vanity so drop the thoughts.

What would happen if you told yourself the following;
I am human,prone to mistakes,failures,Imperfect,I may not have it all but I am alive so I can make it,I will be grateful and thankful for everything,I am special,worth living,and have a purpose.etc etc those small little words that keep us going day after day when no one really cares?
You owe your life to God so make the best out of it while you can and stop tearing yourself up.

Quote:
And that raising a finger against anyone is equal to killing. So. is directing anger at a person, or not wishing him well. And these are the kinds of things I've been doing all my life though I've been hiding it even from myself.


Well then WE ARE ALL KILLERS because people do those things.Do not feel like the Mother of all killers.

Live a day at a time with a free not clogged mind.

tycho
#8 Posted : Thursday, December 05, 2013 4:20:12 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
kysse wrote:
Tycho Please stop complicating your own life.
Your own deep thoughts are strangling you.

That story...is simple and normal,yet you complicate it by separating yourself and creating a theory to make yourself feel;

-vulnerable
-special
-weak/evil

Why? yet there are many people doing exactly the same thing you did but they don't think about it at all.

Why can't you just live and enjoy the simple things of life without having to think them over and over? See not everything in life deserves explanations.
The sun is yellow fullstop, stop asking why it's not black because,honestly how will the answer change your life? will it add to your Account or make you glitter? if it won't,then it's vanity so drop the thoughts.

What would happen if you told yourself the following;
I am human,prone to mistakes,failures,Imperfect,I may not have it all but I am alive so I can make it,I will be grateful and thankful for everything,I am special,worth living,and have a purpose.etc etc those small little words that keep us going day after day when no one really cares?
You owe your life to God so make the best out of it while you can and stop tearing yourself up.

Quote:
And that raising a finger against anyone is equal to killing. So. is directing anger at a person, or not wishing him well. And these are the kinds of things I've been doing all my life though I've been hiding it even from myself.


Well then WE ARE ALL KILLERS because people do those things.Do not feel like the Mother of all killers.

Live a day at a time with a free not clogged mind.



What you're saying resonates with the default psychology of many if not most of us. At least that's how I 'unclogged' my mind. In fact, by having this default psychology I had a 'theory' that made me feel;
- secure
- normal and
- Righteous

But the more I think about this default psychology the more I realize it's the choke factor, of life in general.
Perhaps at this point I should mention Karl Menninger's 'Man against himself' in it this psychiatrist outlines the mechanism with which humans punish themselves in what appears as 'normal life'.

The reason(s) that made us to kill the thief are the very reasons that make him a thief. This default psychology is one of self destruction because it's neither true nor consistent.

By acknowledging that we are;
- Insecure
- Special and
- Evil,
One is transformed first to Cain, then sees the meaning of God's curse on him, and why the curse prompted the building of the tower of Babel, which is also the of religion.

The religious person has no authentic psychology. He can only be a frustrated hypocrite. And the tension is too high that religions can only multiply and increase discord.

So does politics take the course we so bemoan!

PS. Do you mean dogs also see the sun as yellow? Not black? What color is the sun really?
kysse
#9 Posted : Thursday, December 05, 2013 7:04:03 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 1/17/2013
Posts: 4,693
Location: Earth
Stop asking WHY because you will get answers to make you feel justified even though they are wrong.

Your kind of thinking drains all energy from the brain,where do you get the energy to live.
Why the torture?

If I think like you do ,I will sure die because I will be punishing myself mentally for no reason.


It doesn't even matter what dogs see in the sun,lets say its blue then what? Why spend time thinking about it's 'blueness' if it doesn't affect your day to day living?

Are you able to ignore situations? for the sake of 'peace of mind?

The only thing that gets me thinking hard is anything that affects my lifeline.The rest is but stress.
Besides you are not GOD to answer all of man's problems.

relax.


vinii
#10 Posted : Thursday, December 05, 2013 7:09:45 AM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 10/14/2009
Posts: 2,057
tycho what's your take on 'fundamentols' ? yu find it funny?
If you are an eagle don't hang around with chickens; chickens don't fly....
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