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How do you kill a Nairobi cat??
Rank: Elder Joined: 2/26/2008 Posts: 4,449
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Tebes wrote:Rules on how to deal with stray cats..... Each of the rules was made a day at a time.  Quote:
1. Stray cats will not be fed.
2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.
3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.
4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.
5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.
6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.
7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.
8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time.
9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at certain times.
10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending in "y."
11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.
12. Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.
13. Stray cats may be permitted on furniture but must sharpen claws on new $359.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.
14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the dirt.
15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with expensive kitty litter.
16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.
17. Stray cats will sleep outside.
18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.
19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.
20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.
21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.
22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.
23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.
24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.
25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers except at the foot.
26. Stray cats will not play on the desk.
27. Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.
28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk when the human is sdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier'puyykmm4hbdm9lo9jmdskdm,.USING IT.
~ Unknown Author ~
 Hapana!!! I refuse!!! This is where I'm headed without drastic measures!!!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/1/2011 Posts: 8,804 Location: Nairobi
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Muriel wrote:tycho wrote:How can one be kind to a cat? First you must respect intelligence. Cats are intelligent beings, and they share the universe with Man, so why not engage them intelligently? I expect the cats to eat @ecstasy if he works to destroy them. Cats can fight you know! So if 'the serial killer insticts' don't succeed then they should be used for food like the way we do with cows. That way we still keep the cats and take care of them. What can be eaten and what cannot be eaten? There is a boundary between them. Or not? What is food? The fuel for climbing the ladder of heaven. First comes the ladder, then the energic intention, the balance of forces in the ecosystem, and symbolic consistency. For example 'pork' is associated with 'dirt'.
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Rank: Chief Joined: 8/24/2009 Posts: 5,909 Location: Nairobi
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It is never easy to catch a cat...they can get very violent...
@Magigi, a pieace of meat at the end of a hook will not work...cats eat in bits and pieces...
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 5/11/2010 Posts: 918
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butterflyke wrote:seppuku wrote:Buster wrote:alma wrote:seppuku wrote:Swenani wrote:ecstacy wrote:Simple.
Some wild cats have mingled with some ex-domesticated cats abandoned by some neighbor and now the place is run by freaking cats.
In record time, generation has given birth to generation and it seems this is even attracting some more heated alley cats that cry and $hit wherever they please not to mention hop into the home from whatever available opening. NKT
Nothing seems to get them away.
I am pro-cat life and all but heck it has reached unbearable levels!! How do you kill a cat??
Trap them in a sack and tie it tightly then drive 100Kms away and dump them there without untying the sack I agree with you up to the word tightly. Why waste precious petrol doing that? Get a heavy iron bar or mallet and bring in down on the offender's skull. Works like magic. At least it did when I was a young boy. Only problem it needs you to be a young boy. Kama wewe iko na 12 year old son you can enlist his help. He will likely find the procedure very entertaining. He will end up being a serial killer. Kweli kabisa. This is how serial killers start. Would not want to be seppuku's neighbour. Maybe you are already. Be VERY afraid. ai @seppuku...mambo gani haya ya 'malleti'  @tycho na paka kumi @butterflyke, that had you scared too? I only offered the one solution I happen to have some experience with and some pop psychologists here are quaking in their boots worrying that I know where they live. Surely! Learn first to treat your time as you would your money, then treat your money as you do your time.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/9/2008 Posts: 5,389
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Back in shags many yrs ago i was given an assignment to kill a dog that was eating our chickens. Very traumatic experience. So i wouldn't recommend you kill the cats. Let the experts - kanjo, KSPCA - control them.
And why does the title say 'nairobi cat'? Are they different from other cats?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/26/2008 Posts: 4,449
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jaggernaut wrote:Back in shags many yrs ago i was given an assignment to kill a dog that was eating our chickens. Very traumatic experience. So i wouldn't recommend you kill the cats. Let the experts - kanjo, KSPCA - control them.
And why does the title say 'nairobi cat'? Are they different from other cats? KSPCA is an option. Cats are very adaptive hence the localized title.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/26/2008 Posts: 4,449
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tycho wrote:seppuku wrote:alma wrote:seppuku wrote:Swenani wrote:ecstacy wrote:Simple.
Some wild cats have mingled with some ex-domesticated cats abandoned by some neighbor and now the place is run by freaking cats.
In record time, generation has given birth to generation and it seems this is even attracting some more heated alley cats that cry and $hit wherever they please not to mention hop into the home from whatever available opening. NKT
Nothing seems to get them away.
I am pro-cat life and all but heck it has reached unbearable levels!! How do you kill a cat??
Trap them in a sack and tie it tightly then drive 100Kms away and dump them there without untying the sack I agree with you up to the word tightly. Why waste precious petrol doing that? Get a heavy iron bar or mallet and bring in down on the offender's skull. Works like magic. At least it did when I was a young boy. Only problem it needs you to be a young boy. Kama wewe iko na 12 year old son you can enlist his help. He will likely find the procedure very entertaining. He will end up being a serial killer. @alma, I am NOT a serial killer. Would you know if you were one? @ecstasy, you seem to be at war. Man versus cat; or so it seems. As long as the Man isn't the cat, then 'angst' must rise. And if the cat is away then rats will rule. So I suggest you keep the cats under a nyumba kumi initiative. Make the cats an army against rats, train them to serve you in special communal tasks like using their circus skills to operate machines and contraptions whose range is as wide as you can imagine. You could do wonders with such an untapped resource. But if everything else fails, eat them. kwerra kabisa. Which one do you prefer, invitation to paka choma or gift of two of these cats? Current options in order: 1. KSPCA 2. Chemical weapons (rat poison and likes haven't worked) 3. Electric chair. Darn cats don't know about current.
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Rank: Member Joined: 11/19/2009 Posts: 3,142
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tycho wrote:Muriel wrote:tycho wrote:How can one be kind to a cat? First you must respect intelligence. Cats are intelligent beings, and they share the universe with Man, so why not engage them intelligently? I expect the cats to eat @ecstasy if he works to destroy them. Cats can fight you know! So if 'the serial killer insticts' don't succeed then they should be used for food like the way we do with cows. That way we still keep the cats and take care of them. What can be eaten and what cannot be eaten? There is a boundary between them. Or not? What is food? The fuel for climbing the ladder of heaven. First comes the ladder, then the energic intention, the balance of forces in the ecosystem, and symbolic consistency. For example 'pork' is associated with 'dirt'. No, first comes the food. It has to be prepared, in this case, killed. But there is possibility of serial killer tendendcies that were possibly sown at childhood to sprout at this step and if the food source is to be maitained, the tendencies will be sustained and nutured. Then we ought to be worried where we live, who our neighbours are and what they do. Do they have heavy iron bars? Will the bars be useful in heaven?
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Rank: Elder Joined: 1/17/2013 Posts: 4,693 Location: Earth
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I want to kill 6 CATS! asap. Quote:And why does the title say 'nairobi cat'? Are they different from other cats? They walk,miaow and stare at you funny-'know it alls'.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/1/2011 Posts: 8,804 Location: Nairobi
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Muriel wrote:tycho wrote:Muriel wrote:tycho wrote:How can one be kind to a cat? First you must respect intelligence. Cats are intelligent beings, and they share the universe with Man, so why not engage them intelligently? I expect the cats to eat @ecstasy if he works to destroy them. Cats can fight you know! So if 'the serial killer insticts' don't succeed then they should be used for food like the way we do with cows. That way we still keep the cats and take care of them. What can be eaten and what cannot be eaten? There is a boundary between them. Or not? What is food? The fuel for climbing the ladder of heaven. First comes the ladder, then the energic intention, the balance of forces in the ecosystem, and symbolic consistency. For example 'pork' is associated with 'dirt'. No, first comes the food. It has to be prepared, in this case, killed. But there is possibility of serial killer tendendcies that were possibly sown at childhood to sprout at this step and if the food source is to be maitained, the tendencies will be sustained and nutured. Then we ought to be worried where we live, who our neighbours are and what they do. Do they have heavy iron bars? Will the bars be useful in heaven?
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