Wazua
»
Club SK
»
Culture
»
Just for laughs...corner
Rank: Elder Joined: 5/1/2010 Posts: 3,024 Location: Hapa
|
Overheard: Man U waliolewa na pete mbili jana na West Brom  Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
|
|
|
Rank: Veteran Joined: 10/25/2007 Posts: 1,574
|
 Copy and Paste: KCSE 20131. If 15 terrorists were at westgate, 5 were gunned down in 4 days by 1000 military men, 100 recce, 200 gsu, 200 police, 300 APs and 3 choppers covering airspace without forgetting Abdul Haji and company security agency, calculate the time that will take all terrorists to be killed and displayed having in mind the 5 killed are yet to be displayed, use the formula 15-5=0. (without using forensic results) (10marks) 2. a) What was the burning intensity of the mattresses that caused the the three storey building to collapse? (5marks) b) How do we call the sound produced by the burning mattresses? (2marks) c) Give three reasons why you're still using mattresses at home yet you know its effects (refer to westgate fire) (3marks) 3. a) Shebesh took 5months to get gubernatorial slap and just 3 weeks to get senator's slap, going by the trend, calculate the time she'll get mps slap? (5marks) b) If she gets MPs slap, will she survive? (1Mark) c)What do you think is the cause of all this slapping? (1Mark) d) people learn from their mistakes, do you think shebesh is learning from her mistakes? (1Mark) Set out to correct the world's wrongs and you will most certainly wind up adding to them.
|
|
|
Rank: Chief Joined: 8/24/2009 Posts: 5,909 Location: Nairobi
|
|
|
|
Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
|
The following is allegedly an actual question given in a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: ... First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their faith, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can reliably project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that, "it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls,leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!" ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
|
|
|
Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
|
VAN PERSIE: Niaje sos? WENGER: Poa sana msaliti. VAN PERSIE: Si unirudishe home....huku ni kubaya niaje!! WENGER: Hebu relax kijana, utazoea kusoma namba 12 juu ulidhani ukienda tutakufa. R.V.P: Aaaiiiihhhh.....mboss we!! WENGER: Na btw nakujia rooney, huyo boy ndo anaumia. R.V.P: Nkt!!! Si ukujie mpaka moyes, NUGU!!
|
|
|
Rank: Veteran Joined: 12/21/2011 Posts: 1,010
|
Wife:Mbona kuna makelele kwa
jirani?
Husb:Kuna birthday huko.
Wife:Birthday! Ya nani?
Husb:Ya Tuyu.
Wife:Tuyu! Mgani?
Husb:Hata me simjui,naskia tu
wakimwimbia Happy Birthday Tuyu!
|
|
|
Rank: New-farer Joined: 7/30/2013 Posts: 28
|
McReggae wrote:The following is allegedly an actual question given in a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: ...
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their faith, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can reliably project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that, "it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls,leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!" trust wazua to always lift your moods. Thanks @McR
|
|
|
Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,328 Location: Masada
|
|
|
|
Rank: New-farer Joined: 10/1/2013 Posts: 25
|
McReggae wrote:The following is allegedly an actual question given in a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: ...
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their faith, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can reliably project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that, "it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls,leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!" he he he what a heavenly Theory this is..
|
|
|
Rank: Member Joined: 11/8/2011 Posts: 482 Location: Nairobi
|
|
|
|
Rank: Member Joined: 11/8/2011 Posts: 482 Location: Nairobi
|
Nyaiira wrote:McReggae wrote:The following is allegedly an actual question given in a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: ...
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their faith, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can reliably project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that, "it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls,leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!" he he he what a heavenly Theory this is.. 
|
|
|
Rank: Elder Joined: 5/1/2010 Posts: 3,024 Location: Hapa
|
peappeng wrote:McReggae wrote:The following is allegedly an actual question given in a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: ...
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their faith, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can reliably project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that, "it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls,leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!" trust wazua to always lift your moods. Thanks @McR Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
|
|
|
Rank: Elder Joined: 11/25/2011 Posts: 2,103 Location: Nrb
|
butterflyke wrote:peappeng wrote:McReggae wrote:The following is allegedly an actual question given in a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: ...
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their faith, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can reliably project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that, "it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls,leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!" trust wazua to always lift your moods. Thanks @McR This one has made me lol I am happy
|
|
|
Rank: Member Joined: 10/14/2011 Posts: 661
|
A student failed in law and decided to make a deal with professor.
Sir, do you know everything about law?
Professor: Yes.
Student: If you can answer this question, I will accept my final marks, if you can't, you have to give me "A".
The Professor agreed.
Boy asked, "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?"
The Professor thought about it for hours & pondered but no answer. He finally had to give up as he really did not know and he gave the boy an "A".
The following day, professor asked same question to his students.
He was shocked when all of them raised their hands. He asked one student.
The student answered "Sir, you are 65, married to 28 years old woman, this is legal but not logical. Your wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, this is logical but not legal.
Your wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam and yet you have given him an "A", this is neither logical nor legal."
The professor collapsed...
|
|
|
Rank: Veteran Joined: 1/9/2009 Posts: 1,262
|
Thiong'o wrote:A student failed in law and decided to make a deal with professor.
Sir, do you know everything about law?
Professor: Yes.
Student: If you can answer this question, I will accept my final marks, if you can't, you have to give me "A".
The Professor agreed.
Boy asked, "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?"
The Professor thought about it for hours & pondered but no answer. He finally had to give up as he really did not know and he gave the boy an "A".
The following day, professor asked same question to his students.
He was shocked when all of them raised their hands. He asked one student.
The student answered "Sir, you are 65, married to 28 years old woman, this is legal but not logical. Your wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, this is logical but not legal.
Your wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam and yet you have given him an "A", this is neither logical nor legal."
The professor collapsed...
|
|
|
Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
|
9 months from now: Westgate Onyango, White Widow Achieng, Shopping Mall Otieno, We are One Odhiambo! K.D.F Looterman Oyoo Terror Lenku Opiyo. Looter Owino Exploding Mattress Onyango Shutdown Olola Hostage Ouma. Combat Juma Recce Squad Mboya ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
|
|
|
Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
|
Thiong'o wrote:A student failed in law and decided to make a deal with professor.
Sir, do you know everything about law?
Professor: Yes.
Student: If you can answer this question, I will accept my final marks, if you can't, you have to give me "A".
The Professor agreed.
Boy asked, "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?"
The Professor thought about it for hours & pondered but no answer. He finally had to give up as he really did not know and he gave the boy an "A".
The following day, professor asked same question to his students.
He was shocked when all of them raised their hands. He asked one student.
The student answered "Sir, you are 65, married to 28 years old woman, this is legal but not logical. Your wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, this is logical but not legal.
Your wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam and yet you have given him an "A", this is neither logical nor legal."
The professor collapsed... Woih! Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
|
|
|
Rank: Hello Joined: 10/4/2013 Posts: 8
|
wilyum wrote:Wife:Mbona kuna makelele kwa
jirani?
Husb:Kuna birthday huko.
Wife:Birthday! Ya nani?
Husb:Ya Tuyu.
Wife:Tuyu! Mgani?
Husb:Hata me simjui,naskia tu
wakimwimbia Happy Birthday Tuyu!
|
|
|
Rank: Chief Joined: 5/9/2007 Posts: 13,095
|
First it was HellsGATE, then westGATE..... hope all is well with colGATE
|
|
|
Rank: Elder Joined: 5/1/2010 Posts: 3,024 Location: Hapa
|
A guy in a hurry used the ladies 'toilet in a posh hotel'.. He sat down & noticed 4 buttons - WW, WA, PP & APR. Curious, he pressed WW & his butt was gently sprayed with WARM WATER, he loved it so much! He then pressed WA & a blast of WARM AIR dried him up. Still loving it, he pressed PP & got a POWDER PUFF to make him smell fresh. Feeling pampered, he decided to press the last button APR. He later woke up in a hospital, a nurse smiled & said; Sir, APR means AUTOMATIC PAD REMOVER, so when the machine couldn't find a pad on you, it went for your balls. Your balls are in the jar. @washiku, usieke photo tafadhali Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
|
|
|
Wazua
»
Club SK
»
Culture
»
Just for laughs...corner
Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.
|