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Why is polygamy frowned on in Kenya?
Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,331 Location: Masada
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Lolest! wrote:That was one uneasy moment for the people in studio! @Janet was humbled and could not hide the shame and laughter at the same time! Portfolio: Sold You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/1/2009 Posts: 846
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Talk to anyone who belongs to a polygamous family, either one of the wives, children or even the man himself. The following is likely the case. 1. Mistreated kids 2. Jealousy and envy between the step families especially where its two wives. 3, Reduced quality of life, read having to fend for more mouths or negligence altogether. 4. Man worrying if any of the wives could poison him. 5. Last but no least, MOST polygamous men end up very lonely in old-age, wives don't care since they hold grudges from the day he married the second wife and the day he went back to the first wife etc, children have learned to survive without his support and are always protective of their mums very few accord them the respect they deserve and wait for him to die so they can fight over his property assets. Women do not like sharing, hata mpango wa kando pray you leave your wife for them, only they cannot say it, unless they are there for the money. Otherwise half the time, everyone accepts and moves on. As someone said, its all about Greed, and we know this one has no end, you look back a few years down the road and wish you can undo so decisions.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2008 Posts: 6,275 Location: Kenya
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CLK wrote:Talk to anyone who belongs to a polygamous family, either one of the wives, children or even the man himself. The following is likely the case. 1. Mistreated kids 2. Jealousy and envy between the step families especially where its two wives. 3, Reduced quality of life, read having to fend for more mouths or negligence altogether. 4. Man worrying if any of the wives could poison him. 5. Last but no least, MOST polygamous men end up very lonely in old-age, wives don't care since they hold grudges from the day he married the second wife and the day he went back to the first wife etc, children have learned to survive without his support and are always protective of their mums very few accord them the respect they deserve and wait for him to die so they can fight over his property assets.
Women do not like sharing, hata mpango wa kando pray you leave your wife for them, only they cannot say it, unless they are there for the money. Otherwise half the time, everyone accepts and moves on.
As someone said, its all about Greed, and we know this one has no end, you look back a few years down the road and wish you can undo so decisions. First, it is funny how those who are not in this institution frown at itMost of them only know failed polygamous marriages. Most of them are not even married ( not talking about you CLK, I know you're married  ), and still looking but will be comfortable being a mistress. I myself is from familywhose grandfather (my late grand-dad) had four wives. For your information, all my uncles and aunties went to school and worked in good jobs, most of them are now retired. And if you're wonderingall the sibblings grew up close and until now the families still do things together. Many people cannot tell which child is from which mother, espeially the men, coz they resemble my grand father. So they way to raise a family is personal choiceThere are even children from monogamous families who are mistreated. You see polygamy is there to solve many social issuesIncluding prostitution, inbalanced sexual needs in relationships. It is a fact that almost all men liketo have as many female partners as possible. They have that natural instinct to be with many women. If we just rubbish it because of some so-called assumed likely cases, we end up creating problems, including unfaithfulness, because men, generally speaking, will still go out to satisfy that desire to be with many women. Why not give the men the official opportunity to do what they enjoy doing in safe way as long as he can afford. If you feel this is for you, then keep off There are men who want one woman. The same way there are men who don't even want even a woman! Don't bad mouth something just because it does not suit you.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2008 Posts: 6,275 Location: Kenya
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Polygamy should be treated as individual rights and freedomEveryone want to decide whether to practice polygamy or not. This is should an individual's choice. Since it is personal decision, then an institution should now interfer with that decision. If a person wants to practice polygamyor a woman wants to be married by someone who has a wife (ves), then that decision to be left with that person. No one should be deprived of this choice. Everybody knows what is good for him/her. Now when you see others talking on behalf of others is plain mean! 
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2008 Posts: 6,275 Location: Kenya
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Below is the wisdom behind polygamy in Islam:The Creator knows best why men are given the permission to polygamy. 1) It's known fact that there are more women than menWomen also have longer life. You don't have to ask how this is, because you should know that more men die from things like wars & other calamities. And you would find more widows in the world than widowers. What happens in the societies that restrict men?to only one wife, you can see the result, many women without husbands. You know very well thatwhen a woman is divorced or her husband dies, many times it becomes very, very difficult for her to remarry. Islam permits polygamy to solve this problem. 2) Also, sometimes, the wife is found to be barrenAnd husband wants to have children. Polygamy can solve this problem. 3) You know and I know that some menare not satisfied with one woman. Of course some are satisfied with one woman. And of course you know there are men who don't even want any woman. So they are all differnt. So recognising this need, Islam has permitted man to marry more than one wife In societies where they pretend, most men fall into adultery & fornication. You know, that in these so-called developed societiesit is common practive for men to get themselves mistresses. They also have many extramarital affairs. This way, you know, the woman in this relationship is disgraced and unprotected. You know that this same western societyscream when they heat a man having more than one wife. This way, the woman would have honour, dignity and lead a safe life. 4. Also, a woman may fail to satisfy needs (physical)of husband because say illness. Islam allowing polygamy has closed the door to extramarital affairs. These are just some of the wisdomTO us Muslims, it is the decision of the Creator, and we accept it. Allah tells us in Quran:Quote:...If anyone disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he is indeed on a clearly wrong path? SummaryIf a man is able to marry two, or three, or four wives and he treats all justly, then there is nothing Islamically. As long as he can fulfil the rights of the wives as stipulated in the Islamic marriage law. And women have the right to be treated justly with love in respect. Of course, it is not easy for the first woman to accept this. But it is for the better
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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CLK wrote:Talk to anyone who belongs to a polygamous family, either one of the wives, children or even the man himself. The following is likely the case. 1. Mistreated kids 2. Jealousy and envy between the step families especially where its two wives. 3, Reduced quality of life, read having to fend for more mouths or negligence altogether. 4. Man worrying if any of the wives could poison him. 5. Last but no least, MOST polygamous men end up very lonely in old-age, wives don't care since they hold grudges from the day he married the second wife and the day he went back to the first wife etc, children have learned to survive without his support and are always protective of their mums very few accord them the respect they deserve and wait for him to die so they can fight over his property assets.
Women do not like sharing, hata mpango wa kando pray you leave your wife for them, only they cannot say it, unless they are there for the money. Otherwise half the time, everyone accepts and moves on.
As someone said, its all about Greed, and we know this one has no end, you look back a few years down the road and wish you can undo so decisions. A woman has spoken!! All said and done, MWK polygamy polyandry or any relationship involving 'extra' people is not for the faint hearted.. for non-muslims. Especially since you just can't separate by quoting 4 words.
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/1/2009 Posts: 846
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AlphDoti wrote:CLK wrote:Talk to anyone who belongs to a polygamous family, either one of the wives, children or even the man himself. The following is likely the case. 1. Mistreated kids 2. Jealousy and envy between the step families especially where its two wives. 3, Reduced quality of life, read having to fend for more mouths or negligence altogether. 4. Man worrying if any of the wives could poison him. 5. Last but no least, MOST polygamous men end up very lonely in old-age, wives don't care since they hold grudges from the day he married the second wife and the day he went back to the first wife etc, children have learned to survive without his support and are always protective of their mums very few accord them the respect they deserve and wait for him to die so they can fight over his property assets.
Women do not like sharing, hata mpango wa kando pray you leave your wife for them, only they cannot say it, unless they are there for the money. Otherwise half the time, everyone accepts and moves on.
As someone said, its all about Greed, and we know this one has no end, you look back a few years down the road and wish you can undo so decisions. First, it is funny how those who are not in this institution frown at itMost of them only know failed polygamous marriages. Most of them are not even married ( not talking about you CLK, I know you're married  ), and still looking but will be comfortable being a mistress. I myself is from familywhose grandfather (my late grand-dad) had four wives. For your information, all my uncles and aunties went to school and worked in good jobs, most of them are now retired. And if you're wonderingall the sibblings grew up close and until now the families still do things together. Many people cannot tell which child is from which mother, espeially the men, coz they resemble my grand father. So they way to raise a family is personal choiceThere are even children from monogamous families who are mistreated. You see polygamy is there to solve many social issuesIncluding prostitution, inbalanced sexual needs in relationships. It is a fact that almost all men liketo have as many female partners as possible. They have that natural instinct to be with many women. If we just rubbish it because of some so-called assumed likely cases, we end up creating problems, including unfaithfulness, because men, generally speaking, will still go out to satisfy that desire to be with many women. Why not give the men the official opportunity to do what they enjoy doing in safe way as long as he can afford. If you feel this is for you, then keep off There are men who want one woman. The same way there are men who don't even want even a woman! Don't bad mouth something just because it does not suit you. Slept my mind, i needed to put a disclaimer about Muslims, i know it would work since it is expected a husband will at some point marry three more and this is what women Muslim sign up for. However its different for Christians, who will take the vows in church and do the exact opposite, resulting in resentful wives since this is not what they signed for. And NO, i am not married, very very single, umefikisha mwisho, ama naweza kuwa number four??
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/1/2009 Posts: 846
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AlphDoti wrote:Below is the wisdom behind polygamy in Islam:The Creator knows best why men are given the permission to polygamy. 1) It's known fact that there are more women than menWomen also have longer life. You don't have to ask how this is, because you should know that more men die from things like wars & other calamities. And you would find more widows in the world than widowers. What happens in the societies that restrict men?to only one wife, you can see the result, many women without husbands. You know very well thatwhen a woman is divorced or her husband dies, many times it becomes very, very difficult for her to remarry. Islam permits polygamy to solve this problem. 2) Also, sometimes, the wife is found to be barrenAnd husband wants to have children. Polygamy can solve this problem. 3) You know and I know that some menare not satisfied with one woman. Of course some are satisfied with one woman. And of course you know there are men who don't even want any woman. So they are all differnt. So recognising this need, Islam has permitted man to marry more than one wife In societies where they pretend, most men fall into adultery & fornication. You know, that in these so-called developed societiesit is common practive for men to get themselves mistresses. They also have many extramarital affairs. This way, you know, the woman in this relationship is disgraced and unprotected. You know that this same western societyscream when they heat a man having more than one wife. This way, the woman would have honour, dignity and lead a safe life. 4. Also, a woman may fail to satisfy needs (physical)of husband because say illness. Islam allowing polygamy has closed the door to extramarital affairs. These are just some of the wisdomTO us Muslims, it is the decision of the Creator, and we accept it. Allah tells us in Quran:Quote:...If anyone disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he is indeed on a clearly wrong path? SummaryIf a man is able to marry two, or three, or four wives and he treats all justly, then there is nothing Islamically. As long as he can fulfil the rights of the wives as stipulated in the Islamic marriage law. And women have the right to be treated justly with love in respect. Of course, it is not easy for the first woman to accept this. But it is for the better Argue it this way, every woman wants a man who is better in terms of social standing, financial and economic, bla bla bla. This cuts the number of eligible men by half, ongezea gay, priests and those who choose not to get married. This has forced women to actually accept polygamy and move on, or accept mpango za kando and move on, i know a number who will know their husbands are cheating and wont do a thing, the say'at the end of the day atarudi kwangu'
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/18/2011 Posts: 12,069 Location: Kianjokoma
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Karume in his biography says he got an additional wife to take care of his businesses.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 1/21/2010 Posts: 6,675 Location: Nairobi
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poundfoolish wrote:guru267 wrote:Ask the white man & his Christianity!!  Ala! @Guru, you have no problem with it? I have a problem with going against nature.. 1.The sexual appetite of most men is more than one woman can handle... 2. What happens to the man when his one wife hits menopause?? 3. Despite all the hatred & jealously, women have still always been willing to share a powerful, loving respectful man! 4. Polygamy has a longer history of success than monogamy.. 5. The % of monogamous marriages in divorce greatly outweighs the % of polygamy marriages in divorce... In the Bible we have all choices supported equally by God! polygamy (Solomon, Abraham) Monogamy (Joseph, Simon Peter) Celibacy (Saul aka Paul) Mark 12:29 Deuteronomy 4:16
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