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A letter to Kenyans Abroad - by bikozulu
Rank: Member Joined: 4/26/2011 Posts: 759
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masukuma wrote:Rollout wrote:Guys since we've all agreed that Kenyans in Kenya smell like goats can every Kenya in Wazua pledge to go to a supermarket and buy a deodrant, not a spray/cologne, if you only use perfume/cologne and you don't use deodrant, 95% chance is you also smell like a goat.... let's solve this problem today starting with Lolest and Masukuma......
Masukuma and Lolest can you smell yourself now and tell us how you smell? i have deodorants and rollons in the house (bought them sometime back when I cared what people think of me) but I don't use them... anyone who feels offended should take the stench as an olfactory indicator that they have crossed into my airspace and that they are unwelcome. I also don't shave not cut my hair often - wale wamekwazika wameze wembe!! Are you serious you don't use them? Private space? No the smell cross private space and goes beyond....excuse me!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/4/2006 Posts: 13,821 Location: Nairobi
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Rollout wrote:masukuma wrote:Rollout wrote:Guys since we've all agreed that Kenyans in Kenya smell like goats can every Kenya in Wazua pledge to go to a supermarket and buy a deodrant, not a spray/cologne, if you only use perfume/cologne and you don't use deodrant, 95% chance is you also smell like a goat.... let's solve this problem today starting with Lolest and Masukuma......
Masukuma and Lolest can you smell yourself now and tell us how you smell? i have deodorants and rollons in the house (bought them sometime back when I cared what people think of me) but I don't use them... anyone who feels offended should take the stench as an olfactory indicator that they have crossed into my airspace and that they are unwelcome. I also don't shave not cut my hair often - wale wamekwazika wameze wembe!! Are you serious you don't use them? Private space? No the smell cross private space and goes beyond....excuse me! very serious.... I test my boundaries occasionally. in high school I ditched the use of socks and Vaseline. when in university I skipped showering for 14 days with normal everyday activities (twice) - just to see what would happen. (hugs kutoka kwa wadada nazo?) I stopped making my bed to see if I would 'sleep' less. Boss - you are in this life alone. test the fringes know what it feels like. All Mushrooms are edible! Some Mushroom are only edible ONCE!
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Rank: Member Joined: 3/19/2013 Posts: 344
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CLK wrote:]
So how comes Kenyans in Kenyan that interact with Americans often do not get this say whats, pardons etc often?
I think those Americans/Britons etc are more open minded and conscious of the different accents since they are in another country. When in their country some of them want you to speak "properly" and have no patience with the heavy accent.
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Rank: Member Joined: 7/9/2011 Posts: 730 Location: Nairobi
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masukuma lollest, you must be my alter ego. Mwambie we dont take advice from online trolls who have nothing to do with their time our goals are best achieved indirectly
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/26/2011 Posts: 759
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kiterunner wrote:masukuma lollest, you must be my alter ego. Mwambie we dont take advice from online trolls who have nothing to do with their time kiterunner, check yourself too!
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Rank: Member Joined: 7/9/2011 Posts: 730 Location: Nairobi
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Rollout wrote:kiterunner wrote:masukuma lollest, you must be my alter ego. Mwambie we dont take advice from online trolls who have nothing to do with their time kiterunner, check yourself too! @Rollout its like Masukuma took the words from my mouth. I dont do things to please anyone. I think diasporans (not all) are compensating for the discrimination they face almost literally everywhere except Somalia and Congo. Rollout i have been in wazua long enough to know you. you are the last guy i will listen to on anything our goals are best achieved indirectly
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/8/2013 Posts: 2,517
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@ rollout say what! Including yo mama?   I hate to be the one to bring this up but heck someone had to do it dude. Hope yo mama gets to read the parts i have highlighted. 411 jungus who stray to Kosewes/Ranalos normally say kwaheri to the chef at continental and Hilton I wear my musk like a badge of honour and identity. Best favour you can do to yourself quit wasting cheddar on those carcinogenic sprays and useless colognes. Oga tu na panga soap twice a day come back and report after a month. [quote=Rollout]Hold on guys, this is drunkard aka Rollout.Why are we defending things that are the truth..... I have lived in USA for a long time, I have developed American accent unknowingly, I am a Kalenjin, when I came from Kenya I never communicated in Kalenjin because it was cool to speak in swahili and you wouldn't get a date if you sounded like you are a villager..... we all know how Kenyans are..... when I moved to US I met other Kalenjin speaker and I start appreciating the language and I can proudly say, I speak kale as good as any Kale in Kenya. When I meet any Kenya anywhere, I speak to them in swahili, the irony though is, most Kenyan fresh from Kenya do not want to speak in swahili even when they're struggling to speak in English..... About Kenyans visiting home from Diaspora we all know that some or alot of them act the way the writer said, let's face it, even when I am visiting I meet these kind of Diaspora folks, they're all about show off. These group of diaspora some how still want to compete with their friends in Kenya because they cannot compete with anyone in their respective western countries. So let's not start defending anyone, it is what it is! L astly, I get stomach issues when I eat in some of the Kenya's eating places and I get homa my first week in Kenya, I also hate how most Kenyans in KENYA smell, what am I suppose to do?
[/quote] "😖😡KQ makes money for everyone except the shareholder 😏😏 " overheard in Wazua
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/26/2012 Posts: 15,980
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These diasporans make me laugh, they brag of smelling nice from cheap rollons lakini wakifungua mdomo mnashangaa hio mbolea imetoka wapi. Get over yourself, even women can attest that they like a man who smells like a MAN not some soap or flower "There are only two emotions in the market, hope & fear. The problem is you hope when you should fear & fear when you should hope: - Jesse Livermore
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 7/22/2011 Posts: 1,325
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murchr wrote:These diasporans make me laugh, they brag of smelling nice from cheap rollons lakini wakifungua mdomo mnashangaa hio mbolea imetoka wapi. Get over yourself, even women can attest that they like a man who smells like a MAN not some soap or flower Please note Drunkard is speaking on his own behalf, not for us all!
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 4/4/2007 Posts: 1,162
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Kaka Sunguch wrote:Have always asked why Kenyans returning home from India or some other Asian countries don't come back with the accents....however long they stay there.But that's just me. They do come back with Indian accents. just listen carefully. I believe some accents are picked unconsciously
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 3/26/2012 Posts: 1,182
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CLK wrote:
So how comes Kenyans in Kenyan that interact with Americans often do not get this say whats, pardons etc often?
@CLK, Those Americans in Kenya are familiar with our accent and them being in our country,they bear with us. The Americans in America, most of them have never met anyone with our accent before. To them, At. Art. Hat. Hut. Hurt. Heart all sound different, to the Kenyan tongue, only the "h" might bring some difference. @CLK, when you are in America and you are using the above words and you use Kenyan accent, you are most probably, talking to yourself. I'm not in the diaspora, but from experience,i know. Let Swahili be spoken like Swahili and English like English.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/18/2011 Posts: 12,069 Location: Kianjokoma
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Rollout wrote:Guys since we've all agreed that Kenyans in Kenya smell like goats can every Kenya in Wazua pledge to go to a supermarket and buy a deodrant, not a spray/cologne, if you only use perfume/cologne and you don't use deodrant, 95% chance is you also smell like a goat.... let's solve this problem today starting with Lolest and Masukuma......
Masukuma and Lolest can you smell yourself now and tell us how you smell? situmii if the only reason is to please a big headed diasporan like you. It is good that you started to use it at age 30 but it's proud fellows like you who give diasporans a bad name. I will jog in the morning then queue next to you in the bank upate stori ya kuambia wasee ukirudi huko majuu...
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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Lolest! wrote:Rollout wrote:Guys since we've all agreed that Kenyans in Kenya smell like goats can every Kenya in Wazua pledge to go to a supermarket and buy a deodrant, not a spray/cologne, if you only use perfume/cologne and you don't use deodrant, 95% chance is you also smell like a goat.... let's solve this problem today starting with Lolest and Masukuma......
Masukuma and Lolest can you smell yourself now and tell us how you smell? situmii if the only reason is to please a big headed diasporan like you. It is good that you started to use it at age 30 but it's proud fellows like you who give diasporans a bad name. I will jog in the morning then queue next to you in the bank upate stori ya kuambia wasee ukirudi huko majuu...  uchokozi nayo! Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/1/2009 Posts: 846
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/1/2009 Posts: 846
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mkeiyd wrote:CLK wrote:
So how comes Kenyans in Kenyan that interact with Americans often do not get this say whats, pardons etc often?
@CLK, Those Americans in Kenya are familiar with our accent and them being in our country,they bear with us. The Americans in America, most of them have never met anyone with our accent before. To them, At. Art. Hat. Hut. Hurt. Heart all sound different, to the Kenyan tongue, only the "h" might bring some difference. @CLK, when you are in America and you are using the above words and you use Kenyan accent, you are most probably, talking to yourself. I'm not in the diaspora, but from experience,i know. Let Swahili be spoken like Swahili and English like English. Its either i acquired the american accent without living there (ok not more than a month)or as someone said the ones i interact with are open minded and factor in my Kenyan accent when communicating with me. Anyway cannot blame Kenyans in the diaspora, especially, America, thats where i came across the daftest of people and they have nothing or anyone to blame for being that daft, kwanza i hate when they ask, 'Are you from Africa? i have a friend in Lagos, sijui wanafikiria Lagos na Naiorbi ni kama Nairobi na Kiambu.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/23/2009 Posts: 2,375
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CLK wrote:mkeiyd wrote:CLK wrote:
So how comes Kenyans in Kenyan that interact with Americans often do not get this say whats, pardons etc often?
@CLK, Those Americans in Kenya are familiar with our accent and them being in our country,they bear with us. The Americans in America, most of them have never met anyone with our accent before. To them, At. Art. Hat. Hut. Hurt. Heart all sound different, to the Kenyan tongue, only the "h" might bring some difference. @CLK, when you are in America and you are using the above words and you use Kenyan accent, you are most probably, talking to yourself. I'm not in the diaspora, but from experience,i know. Let Swahili be spoken like Swahili and English like English. Its either i acquired the american accent without living there (ok not more than a month)or as someone said the ones i interact with are open minded and factor in my Kenyan accent when communicating with me. Anyway cannot blame Kenyans in the diaspora, especially, America, thats where i came across the daftest of people and they have nothing or anyone to blame for being that daft, kwanza i hate when they ask, 'Are you from Africa? i have a friend in Lagos, sijui wanafikiria Lagos na Naiorbi ni kama Nairobi na Kiambu. On the acquired accents I don't think they have a choice coz it looks like a survival mechanism. It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt...
-Mark Twain
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Rank: Member Joined: 7/9/2011 Posts: 730 Location: Nairobi
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Siringi wrote:@ rollout say what! Including yo mama? I hate to be the one to bring this up but heck someone had to do it dude. Hope yo mama gets to read the parts i have highlighted. 411 jungus who stray to Kosewes/Ranalos normally say kwaheri to the chef at continental and Hilton I wear my musk like a badge of honour and identity. Best favour you can do to yourself quit wasting cheddar on those carcinogenic sprays and useless colognes. Oga tu na panga soap twice a day come back and report after a month. [quote=Rollout]Hold on guys, this is drunkard aka Rollout.Why are we defending things that are the truth..... I have lived in USA for a long time, I have developed American accent unknowingly, I am a Kalenjin, when I came from Kenya I never communicated in Kalenjin because it was cool to speak in swahili and you wouldn't get a date if you sounded like you are a villager..... we all know how Kenyans are..... when I moved to US I met other Kalenjin speaker and I start appreciating the language and I can proudly say, I speak kale as good as any Kale in Kenya. When I meet any Kenya anywhere, I speak to them in swahili, the irony though is, most Kenyan fresh from Kenya do not want to speak in swahili even when they're struggling to speak in English..... About Kenyans visiting home from Diaspora we all know that some or alot of them act the way the writer said, let's face it, even when I am visiting I meet these kind of Diaspora folks, they're all about show off. These group of diaspora some how still want to compete with their friends in Kenya because they cannot compete with anyone in their respective western countries. So let's not start defending anyone, it is what it is! L astly, I get stomach issues when I eat in some of the Kenya's eating places and I get homa my first week in Kenya, I also hate how most Kenyans in KENYA smell, what am I suppose to do?
[/quote] Using the username drunkard a few years ago you could barely complete your posts in English, kwani kwenu mlikua mnaongea nini, aii yawa our goals are best achieved indirectly
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Rank: Member Joined: 7/9/2011 Posts: 730 Location: Nairobi
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Lolest! wrote:Rollout wrote:Guys since we've all agreed that Kenyans in Kenya smell like goats can every Kenya in Wazua pledge to go to a supermarket and buy a deodrant, not a spray/cologne, if you only use perfume/cologne and you don't use deodrant, 95% chance is you also smell like a goat.... let's solve this problem today starting with Lolest and Masukuma......
Masukuma and Lolest can you smell yourself now and tell us how you smell? situmii if the only reason is to please a big headed diasporan like you. It is good that you started to use it at age 30 but it's proud fellows like you who give diasporans a bad name. I will jog in the morning then queue next to you in the bank upate stori ya kuambia wasee ukirudi huko majuu... habari ndio hiyo rollout, na ujue before jogging airport pia ilitumika. Why is it only the American diasporans raised the smel issue. Ni zile matusi black americans waliwapea on arrival. our goals are best achieved indirectly
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/18/2011 Posts: 12,069 Location: Kianjokoma
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kiterunner wrote:
Using the username drunkard a few years ago you could barely complete your posts in English, kwani kwenu mlikua mnaongea nini, aii yawa
Good English is not a requirement to work for a Fortune 500 company. You just need to smell good and be arrogant
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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kiterunner wrote:Lolest! wrote:Rollout wrote:Guys since we've all agreed that Kenyans in Kenya smell like goats can every Kenya in Wazua pledge to go to a supermarket and buy a deodrant, not a spray/cologne, if you only use perfume/cologne and you don't use deodrant, 95% chance is you also smell like a goat.... let's solve this problem today starting with Lolest and Masukuma......
Masukuma and Lolest can you smell yourself now and tell us how you smell? situmii if the only reason is to please a big headed diasporan like you. It is good that you started to use it at age 30 but it's proud fellows like you who give diasporans a bad name. I will jog in the morning then queue next to you in the bank upate stori ya kuambia wasee ukirudi huko majuu... habari ndio hiyo rollout, na ujue before jogging airport pia ilitumika. Why is it only the American diasporans raised the smel issue. Ni zile matusi black americans waliwapea on arrival. You nailed it there!!! ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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