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Funniest story I ever heard!
Rank: Elder Joined: 10/4/2006 Posts: 13,822 Location: Nairobi
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Back in 2002, a Slovakian motorist who blew up his car and a petrol station when he used a cigarette lighter to look into his petrol tank was to be charged with endangering public safety. The 30 year-old, not named by police, says his fuel gauge had broken and he had pulled into the petrol station to see if there was fuel in the tank. He says he could not see into the tank and used the lighter to allow him to see into the nozzle. The naked flame ignited the tank and, as the panicked motorist fled, the fire spread and demolished much of the small petrol station in the west Slovak town of Horna Streda. The motorist was treated for burns and two other people who were badly injured when his car's fuel tank blew up are still in hospital, Slovak media reports. All Mushrooms are edible! Some Mushroom are only edible ONCE!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/2/2011 Posts: 4,818 Location: -1.2107, 36.8831
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masukuma wrote:Back in 2002, a Slovakian motorist who blew up his car and a petrol station when he used a cigarette lighter to look into his petrol tank is to be charged with endangering public safety. The 30 year-old, not named by police, says his fuel gauge had broken and he had pulled into the petrol station to see if there was fuel in the tank. He says he could not see into the tank and used the lighter to allow him to see into the nozzle. The naked flame ignited the tank and, as the panicked motorist fled, the fire spread and demolished much of the small petrol station in the west Slovak town of Horna Streda. The motorist was treated for burns and two other people who were badly injured when his car's fuel tank blew up are still in hospital, Slovak media reports. @Kiash, This stupid Africans, they don't have adequate brain cells! This Slovakia must be one of the pathetic dirty villages in the African Republic! Thats why they elected Mugabe to replace Gaddafi as their King! Receive with simplicity everything that happens to you.” ― Rashi
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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Sometime back, this British couple. The wife goes into the small room and as she's seated on the throne, notices a creepy-crawlie (spider?) on the floor and suddenly screams. Hubby to the rescue, comes armed with an insecticide can but just then, power goes off and he can't see. Decides to fetch his cigarette lighter, lights it up and just as he begins to spray, kaboom! Explosion pap!! Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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Two years of prison doesn't scare Melvin Wafula of. In fact, he is thrilled with his conviction. The 28-year old man from Bunyula (Kenya) prefers being in jail than being in the same house with his wife who is, so he claims, sexually too hungry. He was to tired of her need for sex that he burned his house to avoid her advances. According to the Kenyan Daily Post, when Melvin was asked by the resident magistrate to take a plea he pleaded guilty. He told the court heard that on the day of the incident his wife had worn a see through lingerie in a move to seduce him again. Because he was too tired to engage in sex Wafula excused himself to visit the latrine outside the house and started the fire that burnt down the house. His wife who saw the smoke alarmed the neighbors who got there in time to put it off. The area chief arrested him and handed him over to police.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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Mukiri wrote:Two years of prison doesn't scare Melvin Wafula of. In fact, he is thrilled with his conviction. The 28-year old man from Bunyula (Kenya) prefers being in jail than being in the same house with his wife who is, so he claims, sexually too hungry. He was to tired of her need for sex that he burned his house to avoid her advances.
According to the Kenyan Daily Post, when Melvin was asked by the resident magistrate to take a plea he pleaded guilty. He told the court heard that on the day of the incident his wife had worn a see through lingerie in a move to seduce him again. Because he was too tired to engage in sex Wafula excused himself to visit the latrine outside the house and started the fire that burnt down the house.
His wife who saw the smoke alarmed the neighbors who got there in time to put it off. The area chief arrested him and handed him over to police.  Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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An African leader makes an official trip to Russia. As he's leaving, the Russian leader tells him that in Russia they have a farewell custom called 'Russian Roulette' to demonstrate one's courage. The Russian whips out a revolver, loads one chamber, gives the cylinder a spin, puts the gun to his head and pulls the trigger.... CLICK... empty chamber. He hands the revolver to his African guest and says, "Your turn." Not to be outdone, the African repeats the ritual.. CLICK.... empty. The next year, the Russian visits the African country. As he's leaving, the African tells him that he was very impressed with 'Russian Roulette' and that he has devised an African ritual to demonstrate one's courage. The African then disappears through a door, only to reappear a few minutes later smiling and says to the Russian, "Your turn." The African escorts the Russian through the door. In the room are six of the most beautiful, naked women he has ever seen. The African explains that he is to choose one of the women, who will perform oral sex on him. Absolutely dumbfounded, the Russian asks, "What kind of test of courage is this?" The African calmly answers, "One of them is a cannibal." Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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Rankaz13 wrote:
An African leader makes an official trip to Russia. As he's leaving, the Russian leader tells him that
in Russia they have a farewell custom called 'Russian Roulette' to demonstrate one's courage.
The Russian whips out a revolver, loads one chamber, gives the cylinder a spin, puts the gun to his head and pulls the trigger.... CLICK... empty chamber. He hands the revolver to his African guest and says, "Your turn." Not to be outdone, the African repeats the ritual.. CLICK.... empty.
The next year, the Russian visits the African country. As he's leaving, the African tells him that he was very impressed with 'Russian Roulette' and that he has devised an African ritual to demonstrate one's courage. The African then disappears through a door, only to reappear a few minutes later smiling and says to the Russian, "Your turn."
The African escorts the Russian through the door. In the room are six of the most beautiful, naked women he has ever seen. The African explains that he is to choose one of the women, who will perform oral sex on him. Absolutely dumbfounded, the Russian asks, "What kind of test of courage is this?" The African calmly answers, "One of them is a cannibal."
Washa ikae!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents. He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure. Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it. He farts, and the date's mother yells, "Spot, get down from there." The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down. This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the date's mother yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you."
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/1/2010 Posts: 3,024 Location: Hapa
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Rankaz13 wrote:
An African leader makes an official trip to Russia. As he's leaving, the Russian leader tells him that
in Russia they have a farewell custom called 'Russian Roulette' to demonstrate one's courage.
The Russian whips out a revolver, loads one chamber, gives the cylinder a spin, puts the gun to his head and pulls the trigger.... CLICK... empty chamber. He hands the revolver to his African guest and says, "Your turn." Not to be outdone, the African repeats the ritual.. CLICK.... empty.
The next year, the Russian visits the African country. As he's leaving, the African tells him that he was very impressed with 'Russian Roulette' and that he has devised an African ritual to demonstrate one's courage. The African then disappears through a door, only to reappear a few minutes later smiling and says to the Russian, "Your turn."
The African escorts the Russian through the door. In the room are six of the most beautiful, naked women he has ever seen. The African explains that he is to choose one of the women, who will perform oral sex on him. Absolutely dumbfounded, the Russian asks, "What kind of test of courage is this?" The African calmly answers, "One of them is a cannibal."
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
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Rank: Elder Joined: 1/17/2013 Posts: 4,693 Location: Earth
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lmao.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/19/2013 Posts: 2,552
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/7/2007 Posts: 11,935 Location: Nairobi
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Rankaz13 wrote:
An African leader makes an official trip to Russia. As he's leaving, the Russian leader tells him that
in Russia they have a farewell custom called 'Russian Roulette' to demonstrate one's courage.
The Russian whips out a revolver, loads one chamber, gives the cylinder a spin, puts the gun to his head and pulls the trigger.... CLICK... empty chamber. He hands the revolver to his African guest and says, "Your turn." Not to be outdone, the African repeats the ritual.. CLICK.... empty.
The next year, the Russian visits the African country. As he's leaving, the African tells him that he was very impressed with 'Russian Roulette' and that he has devised an African ritual to demonstrate one's courage. The African then disappears through a door, only to reappear a few minutes later smiling and says to the Russian, "Your turn."
The African escorts the Russian through the door. In the room are six of the most beautiful, naked women he has ever seen. The African explains that he is to choose one of the women, who will perform oral sex on him. Absolutely dumbfounded, the Russian asks, "What kind of test of courage is this?" The African calmly answers, "One of them is a cannibal."
......cracked ribs technician required urgently. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
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Rank: Member Joined: 8/5/2008 Posts: 602
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Mukiri wrote Quote:A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.
He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure.
Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.
He farts, and the date's mother yells, "Spot, get down from there."
The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.
This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the date's mother yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you." ! "The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions" - Alfred adler
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/19/2013 Posts: 2,552
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/24/2012 Posts: 331 Location: Vantage point
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The dude grew too familiar with the cigarette and it showed him contempt right there! Never get familiar with anything... and I mean anything!! Mukiri wrote:A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.
He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure.
Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.
He farts, and the date's mother yells, "Spot, get down from there."
The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.
This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the date's mother yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you." Lolest!
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Rank: Member Joined: 4/24/2012 Posts: 331 Location: Vantage point
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Two terrorists were driving to the location where they intended to plant a bomb, which one of them had in his lap. "Drive a little faster, the bomb may go off any minute," said the man carrying the explosive. "Dont worry, the driver assured him, we have got a spare one in the boot."
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Rank: Member Joined: 5/9/2013 Posts: 285 Location: hapakule.
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A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here. Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.
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Rank: Member Joined: 6/18/2012 Posts: 235
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/19/2013 Posts: 2,552
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 Chris Poole what did you do
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Rank: Elder Joined: 9/23/2009 Posts: 8,083 Location: Enk are Nyirobi
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