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Help! She refuses to sleep in own bedroom
Rahatupu
#21 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 5:40:54 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 12/4/2009
Posts: 1,982
Location: matano manne
muchcr, will try that, in the meantime will Sossion mpaka ajue there are no options.
CLK
#22 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 6:09:23 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 4/1/2009
Posts: 846
Impunity wrote:
Rahatupu wrote:
Jameni saidia hapa!

My 2 and a half year old rahalet won't sleep in her own bedroom. She insists on sharing our bed. Tried all tricks over the last 1 year to get her to accept to sleep in her own bed and bedroom lakini wapi. We've tried to make her share her brother's (10 yrs old) bedroom but own bed without success.
Made her a fancy bed still no luck.

Advise on what tricks, means, whatever that we may not be doing right in this endeavor.


For the very first week that a child is born ensure he/she sleeps with the maid so that he/she will grow up knowing where to sleep!

Its too l ate now to change the kid, the only option left is to let the kid grow to the age he/she will know how to separate good from bad...age of 10!...no landing in that bedroom in the foreseeable future!
Laughing out loudly


Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you
i hope you dont have children, and the maid is supposed to breastfeed the baby??? Ama ulinyonya matiti za mboch wenyu???
Prime
#23 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 6:19:27 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 2/27/2011
Posts: 518
My experience was closer to ngogoyo's. primelet was on our bed till around 6 months. She was then moved to her own cot IN our bedroom. On her first birthday she was out and into the house help's bedroom. Our struggle was more in begging and cuddling her to sleep. But a time came when her mum went out of the country for a month. I would just switch off the light everyday at 9 pm. She would protest and protest but eventually she got the flow.
CLK
#24 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 6:29:32 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 4/1/2009
Posts: 846
KulaRaha wrote:
There is no solution but the hard one...let her cry for 2 to 3 days and she will adjust. I had to do it to my older one, broke my heart, but he managed.


Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you

Growing up, my dad used to work away from home, being the last born i had the opportunity to enjoy sleeping with my mum, you can imagine what would happen, when this stranger showed up every three months and i was kicked out of that bed.
I was never happy whenever my dad was around when it came to bedtime....

Now i grew up somewhere where horror stories about witches and wizards and night runners were common, this is the reason i never wanted to sleep in my room. My reason for not wanting to sleep in my bed was i was scared. Find out why your daughter does not want to sleep in her bed, is she scared of something or she is just attached to that bed, maybe she feels more secure there...

What Muheani said is what my mum devised, she would trick me, let me doze off in her bed and ship me to my bed later on, a couple of times i would wake up and scream in the middle of the night on discovering i was sleeping alone, my mum would come tell me it was okay, there was no one to harm me, at times she would get into my bed only to leave once i dozed off again, eventually i woke up in the morning in my room alone so many times and realized there were other things to worry about than the witches....

all the best, breaks my heart nikiskia mtoto analia, hata wa neighbor, i could call cradle on you...

Kratos
#25 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 6:45:45 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 1,694
Kumbe we are many "suffering" in silence. Kratolet #2 has the same problem. He is slightly over 3 years old. Initially he used to sleep in his own cot after 6 months, then we moved him to another room. Then i got a job requiring travel and that was the start of it. I didn't mind it so much since he would keep the mum company.
He even wakes up at 2 or 3 am and comes knocking having walked all the way saying things like please nifungulie tuu......then if no response he starts crying....nothing breaks my heart like hearing him cry.
I think the advise for taking him to his bed after he sleeps again works but also is tiresome, imagine waiting for him to sleep again then taking him back!
We should form a chama!Sad

“People will believe a big lie sooner than a little one, and if you repeat it frequently enough, people will sooner or later believe it.” ― Walter C. Langer
murchr
#26 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 6:49:38 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/26/2012
Posts: 15,980
Kratos wrote:
Kumbe we are many "suffering" in silence. Kratolet #2 has the same problem. He is slightly over 3 years old. Initially he used to sleep in his own cot after 6 months, then we moved him to another room. Then i got a job requiring travel and that was the start of it. I didn't mind it so much since he would keep the mum company.
He even wakes up at 2 or 3 am and comes knocking having walked all the way saying things like please nifungulie tuu......then if no response he starts crying....nothing breaks my heart like hearing him cry.
I think the advise for taking him to his bed after he sleeps again works but also is tiresome, imagine waiting for him to sleep again then taking him back!
We should form a chama!Sad


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
"There are only two emotions in the market, hope & fear. The problem is you hope when you should fear & fear when you should hope: - Jesse Livermore
.
Mukiri
#27 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 6:51:09 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/11/2012
Posts: 5,222
Start sleeping in her bed, to show her its ok. I'm guessing she'll follow you. When eventually(a week or two) you move back, the ensuing ndrama won't be as much.

Proverbs 19:21
newfarer
#28 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 6:52:17 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/19/2010
Posts: 3,504
Location: Uganda
Mimi pia iko ndani ya hii sida. naomba sirkal aingie kati. conjugals have to wait till he is deep asleep lakini si hoja. kungoja nayo! !
punda amecheka
danas10
#29 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 7:00:23 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 10/8/2010
Posts: 763
Location: Intersection
Kratos wrote:
Kumbe we are many "suffering" in silence. Kratolet #2 has the same problem. He is slightly over 3 years old. Initially he used to sleep in his own cot after 6 months, then we moved him to another room. Then i got a job requiring travel and that was the start of it. I didn't mind it so much since he would keep the mum company.
He even wakes up at 2 or 3 am and comes knocking having walked all the way saying things like please nifungulie tuu......then if no response he starts crying....nothing breaks my heart like hearing him cry.
I think the advise for taking him to his bed after he sleeps again works but also is tiresome, imagine waiting for him to sleep again then taking him back!
We should form a chama!Sad


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
masukuma
#30 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 7:25:09 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/4/2006
Posts: 13,821
Location: Nairobi
murchr wrote:
Decorate that room in a way that makes her want to live there.

interesting idea! when I was younger I used to diss those "sissy" parents in Nanny 911, i used to think - what is wrong with these people? Kumbe the proof of the pudding is in the eating... its heart breaking, hard and plus it takes place during ungodly hours of the night when there is almost no will to fight with a screaming 2 year old.
All Mushrooms are edible! Some Mushroom are only edible ONCE!
maka
#31 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 7:25:11 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 4/22/2010
Posts: 11,522
Location: Nairobi
danas10 wrote:
Kratos wrote:
Kumbe we are many "suffering" in silence. Kratolet #2 has the same problem. He is slightly over 3 years old. Initially he used to sleep in his own cot after 6 months, then we moved him to another room. Then i got a job requiring travel and that was the start of it. I didn't mind it so much since he would keep the mum company.
He even wakes up at 2 or 3 am and comes knocking having walked all the way saying things like please nifungulie tuu......then if no response he starts crying....nothing breaks my heart like hearing him cry.
I think the advise for taking him to his bed after he sleeps again works but also is tiresome, imagine waiting for him to sleep again then taking him back!
We should form a chama!Sad


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly


Man see i have burst out laughing..."please nifungulie" thats funny...
possunt quia posse videntur
Muheani
#32 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 7:47:10 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/20/2009
Posts: 1,402
After The Period Of Him Dozzing Off In My Bed, Shipped To His, Wakes up Yelling in His Bed, Is Picked, Dozzes Off, Back To His Bed... That Was Very Trying (I Think Sometime I Used To Walk Around Eyes Closed Asleep)

The Next phase Was Him Waking Up Around 3.30am N shouting At The Top Of His Voice...dadiiiiii.... Off I Go N The Guy Says..nifunike..

I Then Noticed our Jogoo wud wika Just Before He Called Out...We Ate Him.

Thayu (Peace) Nayo After The Jogoo Was No More!

Moral Of The Story...no Noise When Baby Starts To Get The Hung Of It
kysse
#33 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 10:04:06 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 1/17/2013
Posts: 4,693
Location: Earth
danas10 wrote:
Kratos wrote:
Kumbe we are many "suffering" in silence. Kratolet #2 has the same problem. He is slightly over 3 years old. Initially he used to sleep in his own cot after 6 months, then we moved him to another room. Then i got a job requiring travel and that was the start of it. I didn't mind it so much since he would keep the mum company.
He even wakes up at 2 or 3 am and comes knocking having walked all the way saying things like please nifungulie tuu......then if no response he starts crying....nothing breaks my heart like hearing him cry.
I think the advise for taking him to his bed after he sleeps again works but also is tiresome, imagine waiting for him to sleep again then taking him back!
We should form a chama!Sad


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly



This would break my heart too and make me lose sleep.
Kids can play psychological games and drive you nuts but each stage of a kids life has the word 'let go'.
'2 and a half,needs the bro to play with her now.
Mukiri
#34 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 10:15:41 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/11/2012
Posts: 5,222
Muheani wrote:
After The Period Of Him Dozzing Off In My Bed, Shipped To His, Wakes up Yelling in His Bed, Is Picked, Dozzes Off, Back To His Bed... That Was Very Trying (I Think Sometime I Used To Walk Around Eyes Closed Asleep)

The Next phase Was Him Waking Up Around 3.30am N shouting At The Top Of His Voice...dadiiiiii.... Off I Go N The Guy Says..nifunike..

I Then Noticed our Jogoo wud wika Just Before He Called Out...We Ate Him.

Thayu (Peace) Nayo After The Jogoo Was No More!

Moral Of The Story...no Noise When Baby Starts To Get The Hung Of It

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly ...ili iwe funzo kwa jogoo wengine..

Proverbs 19:21
Impunity
#35 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 10:51:27 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,328
Location: Masada
Mukiri wrote:
Muheani wrote:
After The Period Of Him Dozzing Off In My Bed, Shipped To His, Wakes up Yelling in His Bed, Is Picked, Dozzes Off, Back To His Bed... That Was Very Trying (I Think Sometime I Used To Walk Around Eyes Closed Asleep)

The Next phase Was Him Waking Up Around 3.30am N shouting At The Top Of His Voice...dadiiiiii.... Off I Go N The Guy Says..nifunike..

I Then Noticed our Jogoo wud wika Just Before He Called Out...We Ate Him.

Thayu (Peace) Nayo After The Jogoo Was No More!

Moral Of The Story...no Noise When Baby Starts To Get The Hung Of It

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly ...ili iwe funzo kwa jogoo wengine..

Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

mukiha
#36 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 11:01:51 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/27/2008
Posts: 4,114
Our kids never sleep in our bed at all. Right from birth, they sleep in their own cot. When they wake up in the middle of the night, I get up [wife is usually too fatigued, especially in first few months after birth], pick the kid and hand over to wife for breastfeeding...or simply rock back to sleep.

Time to move out of our room comes when the kid settles into an all-night sleep routine. We've never had a problem with that. We are now on number 3 and he will be heading out of out bedroom in a few months time. I don't expect any problems.
Nothing is real unless it can be named; nothing has value unless it can be sold; money is worthless unless you spend it.
mukiha
#37 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 11:11:54 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/27/2008
Posts: 4,114
murchr wrote:
Decorate that room in a way that makes her want to live there.


Yeah right!

Adults have no clue what makes babies happy. Have you ever noticed that a baby will be more interested in a carton box than the toy that was in it?

When I discovered this, I stopped buying toys for my babies. Just give them odd things that you don't have use for... like empty plastic juice bottles, biscuit boxes, kasuku containers, plastic cups etc. When they get bored with one [and this happens very quickly!!] change to a different one. Saves you a lot of money.

After my son lost three balls over the fence, I decided to make him one with old newspapers. it lasted for almost two years - he used to care very good care of it. I guess its because he saw the amount of labour I put into it. Now he is making paper balls for his kid bro.
Nothing is real unless it can be named; nothing has value unless it can be sold; money is worthless unless you spend it.
Rankaz13
#38 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 11:11:58 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,841
Location: Here
Mukiri wrote:
Muheani wrote:
After The Period Of Him Dozzing Off In My Bed, Shipped To His, Wakes up Yelling in His Bed, Is Picked, Dozzes Off, Back To His Bed... That Was Very Trying (I Think Sometime I Used To Walk Around Eyes Closed Asleep)

The Next phase Was Him Waking Up Around 3.30am N shouting At The Top Of His Voice...dadiiiiii.... Off I Go N The Guy Says..nifunike..

I Then Noticed our Jogoo wud wika Just Before He Called Out...We Ate Him.

Thayu (Peace) Nayo After The Jogoo Was No More!

Moral Of The Story...no Noise When Baby Starts To Get The Hung Of It

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly ...ili iwe funzo kwa jogoo wengine..


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
murchr
#39 Posted : Tuesday, July 23, 2013 11:46:36 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 2/26/2012
Posts: 15,980
mukiha wrote:
murchr wrote:
Decorate that room in a way that makes her want to live there.


Yeah right!

Adults have no clue what makes babies happy. Have you ever noticed that a baby will be more interested in a carton box than the toy that was in it?

When I discovered this, I stopped buying toys for my babies. Just give them odd things that you don't have use for... like empty plastic juice bottles, biscuit boxes, kasuku containers, plastic cups etc. When they get bored with one [and this happens very quickly!!] change to a different one. Saves you a lot of money.

After my son lost three balls over the fence, I decided to make him one with old newspapers. it lasted for almost two years - he used to care very good care of it. I guess its because he saw the amount of labour I put into it. Now he is making paper balls for his kid bro.


The child here is a 2 and half year old gal.
Decoration of a room does not in any way mean that you should buy toys.

By decorate i mean make the room interesting. Play with colors that excite her (Pink, yellow, light blue etc..)be creative either by painting or having stickers/wall papers etc. Incorporate cushions and exciting beddings.

"There are only two emotions in the market, hope & fear. The problem is you hope when you should fear & fear when you should hope: - Jesse Livermore
.
Ric dees
#40 Posted : Wednesday, July 24, 2013 8:56:29 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 3/6/2008
Posts: 632

@Rahatupu,

Children best respond to routine and the earlier you have this in place the better for you.My deelets have always slept with the same routine of
bath - milk - stories - bed routine and i may be lucky as this has worked, they both moved to their rooms at 9 months sleeping in their own cots.

However your case is fairly common and what works varies from child to child. However back to the routine what a child needs is consistency, whenever he cries at your door wake up no speaking, no eye contact and return him to his bed, you might do this for a few hours in the first night and its very physically exhausting (heck no-one says this journey will be easy)but a helluva lot more worthwhile,soon he will get the message and by day 3 this will be a thing of the past. Remember the key is consistency children dont cope well with disruptions. All the best.

The greatest danger in times of turbulence is not the turbulence; it is to act with yesterday's logic.
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