Jambo wazuas.

Nimejikaribisha mwenyewe na kuanza kupost. I have been a peeper for sometime and know abit about this forum.

I have one serious family issue, and being a jaduong, i cant keep quiet. I was recently told by my better half while in tears, that my real mum inlaw is mistreating my real father inlaw. They have been married for kidu 28 years. My father inlaw is a very cool man, in his early seventies now. He is seriously diabetic. He was a truck driver and took care of his family the best he could. He is a man who cannot harm an insect. Seemingly, when he was working, he was of value to the wife, but is useless now that he is old, sickly and diabetic. He sweats so much at night-the smelly sweat-till the pillow is drenched. He has to go to the gents severally at night. His health is failing fast.
For my mum -inlaw, this is the 3rd marriage. She is a very domineering lady and has caused some troubles in my house coz of her influence on her dota-my wife-but a jaduaong wouldn't be defeated. I managed to wade her off respectfully. Her daughter is not her type, she says its her mum, but she doesn't agree with her on many fronts. We would send money to her via mpesa, but our father-inlaw wouldnt be given anything. She is in her mid fifties, into county politics. Mzee is left at home, weak, not cooked for, neglected. Aunties, uncles somehow cant face her. Currently we are mpesaing the mzee directly.

what i would like to ask wazuans is
1. What do we do to get our mum inlaw understand that what she is doing is wrong and get her to treat mzee right.
2. Does this happen? Do old but stronger women neglect their much older/'useless' husbands at such a time of need?
3. Is this a character that can be 'seen' from a far as in, is it psb that my loving swty can possibly do the same to me?

Thanks wazuans again, indeed

You should first get him medicated...that may solve everything. Diabetics need to be treated.

Then secondly you should also pray hard, your wife doesn't treat you like that in 40 years time.

You know what they say, like mother like daughter, everytime!

He is on medication, but picking up slowly. I know about the saying, i believe it wont happen in my marriage. Ok how we got married was another story. My half is well aware of her mothers past. We have had a candid discussion about it, and she says she will never be like her mum, and will disapprove the saying. Like in one of her aborted marriage, the hubby went to the US, nvr to return to her. She had no choice but to ... move on

I see the welcoming committee has given you the usual rousing welcome

Question: Why don't you and your wife take in the mzee? Under the pretext of getting him specialized care in the city? Also as a form of practice for your wife, incase you fall under the same predicament. Or if you are 'afraid' of doing the dirty work, hire and directly pay a nurse/care-giver

move this to club sk health/life/culture. you will get serious advice