You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,or get married
and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party,one woman said to another,
'Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes,I am. I married the wrong man.'
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: 'Husband Wanted'.
Next day,she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine!'
When a woman steals your husband,there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married.
Then she is finished.
A little boy asked his father,'Daddy,how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied,'I don’t know son,I’m still paying.'
-A young son asked,'Is it true Dad,some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?
'Dad replied,'That happens in every country,son.'
- Then there was a woman who said,
'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,and by then,it was too late.'
- Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say — talk in your sleep.
- Just think,if it weren’t for marriage,men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
- First guy says,'My wife’s an angel!'
Second guy remarks,'You’re lucky,mine’s still alive.'
- A Woman’s Prayer:
Dear Lord,I pray for: Wisdom,to understand a man,to Love and to forgive him,and for patience,for his moods.
Because Lord,if I pray for Strength I’ll just beat him to death'
muthuri mwanake