dafaQ?

A friend once was telling his ordeal, he had gone to his local bar after some beers he sees a lady and decided landing lazima, so they agreed and they went to the room, to cut story short.. well he woke up without a single penny and naked put on his trousers and since the room was in the same building he went downstairs and found them washing the bar at around 12ish so he decides to take one on credit he sipped and fell asleep on the table after around 3ish or so the bar now is full one of his friends notices him using his shoes and wakes him up, he wakes up and first goes to the urinal he does his thing and after a while he realizes he did not hear the sound of his pee splashing the urinal he wonders if he had susu-ed on himself then he heard the condom he was wearing all this time bust.

I have been apparently been lucky, I once remember we were with some buddies in uthiru then there was a lady who was stealing some glances at me, we invited her to join us and when it was time to leave she insisted on me dropping her to town but when I got to the car she insisted on me suckling her boobs I resisted then I told her people will see us the parking was rather dark a perfect place then I told her to jump at the backseat but no sooner she was out of the car ndio aingie nyuma I locked the car and sped off latter on I heard they the rice-putter smear it on their nyonyos. ukinyoya kwisha...

you guys are killin me

say what? loool!! this thread #DEAD!!

Since we are on an Oprah here, some stories known to me from pals:

1. My neighbors once went for a drink at 11PM on a Friday at some place called Choma Boma along Ngong Rd. Dudes see these yellow yellow "intelligent, working class" women who joined them. With ulafi in mind, those thighs got the better of them. Lets just say, 2 tuskers down the line, for these seasoned drinkers ilikuwa ni kungorota kwa meza!! They were woken up (from their seats) 11AM on Sat by the cleaners!! Lost all their money, phones and watches. Car keys intact. The married one had to source from friends the 23K rent he lost ndio bibi asijue! lol

2. A dude - who I've never really understood why he likes to drink in town - told me he decided to go to some joint opposite Tropez with a workmate, can't recall the bar name, for baada ya kazi drinks on a Friday. Two "working class" ladies join their table, ladies buying themselves drinks. On the second, third beer they got talking. My pal decides to go make a call outside leaving his jamaa chatting the ladies inside. Dude got a shock of his life when on returning he found his best pal hapo karibu na mlango being carried off by the two ladies and some new jamaa ati "amelewa". My guy sensed danger and refused to allow these strangers leave with his pal. He caused a scene. The one jamaa who was with these ladies now started threatening him. Bouncers saw the commotion and got involved. The strangers were insisting the "drunk" guy is their pal whilst my pal was also claiming the same. Bouncers decided to grab the phone of the victim and asked both sets of parties to call. My guys call went thru whilst the thugs got busted and left feining "ana number mpya"!!. That victim woke up proper on Monday afternoon!! My pal was a jinga, didn't take the guy to hosi but at least covered for kazi calling on Monday!! Haha

NAIROBI!!!!!!!

And dough for cookies..am sure there's a cow is being milked right now in some house to provide 'milk'stock and weed.
Someone will lose his household stuff tomorrow.
Another will probably die of overdose/accident
It's just crazy! yet ni msiba wa kujitakia.

But why don't we hear these tales among asians and whites yet they drink in pubs?
It's only the black,showy and greedy masufferers who fall into such predicaments with thieves in the name of funga.