@Shak Ngai fafa... ati nimpatie tu free pass just like that to go sleeping around? How? I would be out of my mind! If he is going to dog,fine,let him dog but let him also know i dont approve of it! Wewe,are you talking of someone you love or someone else? infact,if i gave him a free pass to be with whoever he wants (and i do recognise that even if i dont give him he might go out anyway) I will have been done with him,both physically and in my heart that i wont care one bit what he does with his life... so,if i still want to feel some love for him,that respect for him,that care for him,still take him as the man in the house,there is no way i am going to give him a free pass to cheat on me.... How? I have to jealously protect what i consider mine.... he will do it,but i wont make it that easy as to buy him protection for his escapades or helping him choose who has smooth 'steaky' legs?? I know it will pain inside but at least let him show some respect and hide it from me...... Its true i might know he is sleeping around,I will try and hold myself back not to dig into his escapades and 'private' life,the closest he can come to being handed a free pass is me ignoring the escapades... may be he comes late,i open for him,give him some hot food,some hot water to bath,like nothing happened - if am strong enough to swallow the kiwaru i would be feeling..... but Free pass??? No way! Some deals are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

@Wendz,notice that there is a rider to this. You MUST use protection with your wife!! How many men would agree to that? It's demeaning! It's an admission of guilt! I think Í would probably be too embarrassed to take it and be denied what is rightfully mine. This though is not applicable where one partner is abusive as they can move around and still use violence to get what they want.

Wendz*... are you suggesting that you have never benefited ... from such wisdom....??? kumbe.. we are carrying with us all the wealth we need..... and we dont know it..... 'male' men... it is time to wake up.... wachana maneno ya maendeleo ya wanaume wanawake ..... I'm the real Massey F.....shut your mouth

Men are probably biologically pre-disposed to being with many females,but,just the way animals are violent,etc it doesn't mean man should be violent.Man have managed to suppress many animal urges including uncontrolled sexual desire. So for me,cheating while it happens is not a necessity that should be entertained in a marriage relationship. A marriage commitment involves both families/clans friends and children. If a man in a moment of weakness chooses to cheat on the wife,then the least he can do is be discreate about it,what the wife doesn't know will not hurt her. The issue of using protection with the wife is an even bigger joke,I think one should use protection with the other outside women and kula the wife roho safi,bila guilt. You never know how many children you may leave around when you don't use rubber,let alone the STD's you are likely to pick and pass to the wife. So @ Shak,your proposal stinks. I've noticed the youth in particular coming in to a workplace with a completely outsized notion of their own value and importance... just a thinly-veiled arrogance. May be the credit crunch induced recession is whats needed to remind us all about the value of hard work.... By Anonymous

@ Obi,the question is,how can you be sure he DID use a rubber with the other woman? That's the idea here. Since she cannot monitor his activities she should not take chances and protect herself! And since we are all weak and sometimes alcohol does affect our judgment,anything can happen including forgetting to use protection. So if you can't protect yourself then at least protect your wife