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Why so many marriages are in crisis
Rank: Elder Joined: 2/22/2009 Posts: 2,449 Location: Africa
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It just dawned on me why so many marriages today are falling apart. It has to do with the way girls are raised today. Girls are today raised to aspire to excel in their careers. They are told they can do anything a man can. Little emphasis is placed on roles in marriage. For boys the message has not changed. They are taught that they are the heads of their homes. So girls having been pampered, well educated and treated well at home expect the same treatment from their husbands only to be net with expectations that are not in tune with their upbringing. They wonder why they should serve the man yet they were taught that men and women are equals. Power plays are the end result along with broken marriages
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,328 Location: Masada
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Shak wrote:It just dawned on me why so many marriages today are falling apart. It has to do with the way girls are raised today. Girls are today raised to aspire to excel in their careers. They are told they can do anything a man can. Little emphasis is placed on roles in marriage. For boys the message has not changed. They are taught that they are the heads of their homes. So girls having been pampered, well educated and treated well at home expect the same treatment from their husbands only to be net with expectations that are not in tune with their upbringing. They wonder why they should serve the man yet they were taught that men and women are equals. Power plays are the end result along with broken marriages That's all.  Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/20/2009 Posts: 1,402
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Shak wrote:It just dawned on me why so many marriages today are falling apart. It has to do with the way girls are raised today. Girls are today raised to aspire to excel in their careers. They are told they can do anything a man can. Little emphasis is placed on roles in marriage. For boys the message has not changed. They are taught that they are the heads of their homes. So girls having been pampered, well educated and treated well at home expect the same treatment from their husbands only to be net with expectations that are not in tune with their upbringing. They wonder why they should serve the man yet they were taught that men and women are equals. Power plays are the end result along with broken marriages Might you Be Refering To the Thouroughbreds Of Runda, Muthaiga Etc...where I Come From We Dont Have the Type Of Girls U Ve Described. Ours Carry 2 Full 20ltre Jerricans Of Water kwa mgongo...na 5lt ones In The Hands...baby Kwa kifua.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/22/2009 Posts: 2,449 Location: Africa
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@muheani, i'm thinking more of the urban set up as opposed to the village
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/20/2009 Posts: 1,402
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Shak wrote:@muheani, i'm thinking more of the urban set up as opposed to the village Good I Schooled In The Village...migrated To The City..went Back To The Village For former Mrs. The Village For The Villager.. The Urbane For The Urbanites.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/15/2011 Posts: 4,518
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Shak wrote:It just dawned on me why so many marriages today are falling apart. haiya.lol!it started in the old testament,just that we weren't there. It falls apart cz 2 people deliberately decide/choose to break it apart.No excuse holds. eg.Mrs ngoyoyo demanding that Mr Ngoyoyo report home daily by 6pm.. 6 months down the line,he won't be reporting back for years. radio wrote:When you get back tell us whether you are a villager or urbanite? Define villager and urbanite plus the basis of your defination. "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/22/2009 Posts: 2,449 Location: Africa
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Muheani wrote:Shak wrote:@muheani, i'm thinking more of the urban set up as opposed to the village Good I Schooled In The Village...migrated To The City..went Back To The Village For former Mrs. The Village For The Villager.. The Urbane For The Urbanites. I know very many cases of men who become successful then leave their village wives to marry those who are more educated. There is one who left his wife coz once the phone rang while the man was in the toilet and the wife answered. Turns out it was his senior at work. Rather than tell the guy that the husband was not available and would call later, she told him that he was in the toilet and caused him a lot of embarrassment
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/9/2009 Posts: 2,003
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When you get back tell us whether you are a villager or urbanite? I matters marriage, it would be incorrect to generationalize. Marriage are troubled both in the village and in the urban. But I agree on the fact that some girls are not 'marriageble'.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/21/2013 Posts: 2,841 Location: Here
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Shak wrote:... They wonder why they should serve the man yet they were taught that men and women are equals.... Tragedy is, most don't realize that equalityis not the same as similar. Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/20/2009 Posts: 1,402
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Rankaz13 wrote:Shak wrote:... They wonder why they should serve the man yet they were taught that men and women are equals.... Tragedy is, most don't realize that equalityis not the same as similar. N Neither Is It = 2 SAME
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/1/2011 Posts: 8,804 Location: Nairobi
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Shak wrote:It just dawned on me why so many marriages today are falling apart. It has to do with the way girls are raised today. Girls are today raised to aspire to excel in their careers. They are told they can do anything a man can. Little emphasis is placed on roles in marriage. For boys the message has not changed. They are taught that they are the heads of their homes. So girls having been pampered, well educated and treated well at home expect the same treatment from their husbands only to be net with expectations that are not in tune with their upbringing. They wonder why they should serve the man yet they were taught that men and women are equals. Power plays are the end result along with broken marriages It's not about how girls are brought up. It's about how we are generally miseducated and how ignorance reigns in our cultures and institutions. The headship of the male isn't about barking orders and dominating economically, and the submissiveness of the woman doesn't preclude her excellence and freedom. An arrow cannot be head only, or shaft and tail only. We are too engrossed with symbols that we have become ignorant of the laws and nature hidden deep within.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/8/2013 Posts: 4,068 Location: At Large.
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Shak wrote:Muheani wrote:Shak wrote:@muheani, i'm thinking more of the urban set up as opposed to the village Good I Schooled In The Village...migrated To The City..went Back To The Village For former Mrs. The Village For The Villager.. The Urbane For The Urbanites. I know very many cases of men who become successful then leave their village wives to marry those who are more educated. There is one who left his wife coz once the phone rang while the man was in the toilet and the wife answered. Turns out it was his senior at work. Rather than tell the guy that the husband was not available and would call later, she told him that he was in the toilet and caused him a lot of embarrassment Aii! That one had his own issues and was waiying for an excuse to make thr move. What is embarrassing about being in the toilet.Kwani that Snr doesnt go to the toilet? Kwani he could take his wife for basic etiquette training? Chenzi yeye. On the topic:-Our poor mamas perservered abuse, neglect, humilation etc because hawakuwa na chao.They were housewifes to be seen never to be heard.With due respect to men some of you are baaaad.So gals of today are able to either straighten you up or walk out and lead a quite life without you. Solution to this crisis, communication, respect for each other and give and take and above all Love each other. Love is beautiful and so are those who share it.With Love, Marriage is an amazing event in ones life time, the foundation of joy, happiness and success.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/15/2011 Posts: 4,518
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@ big chick. picture the wife telling his senior' ako kwa shoo,hata nirikuwa naperekea yeye tisue kwa maana anamarisaga msima peke yake. utamwogeresha saa hii??? *in the background senior hears the wife saying* ' baba joni,iko paul kwa simu, utamsugumsia au nigojee ujipaguse? A husband is the reflection of his wife and VV. come Monday,tissue is measured na ruler. "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/22/2009 Posts: 2,449 Location: Africa
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essyk wrote:@ big chick.
picture the wife telling his senior' ako kwa shoo,hata nirikuwa naperekea yeye tisue kwa maana anamarisaga msima peke yake.
utamwogeresha saa hii???
*in the background senior hears the wife saying* ' baba joni,iko paul kwa simu, utamsugumsia au nigojee ujipaguse?
A husband is the reflection of his wife and VV.
come Monday,tissue is measured na ruler.
LOL!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 10/28/2008 Posts: 2,276 Location: Kibish
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essyk wrote:@ big chick.
picture the wife telling his senior' ako kwa shoo,hata nirikuwa naperekea yeye tisue kwa maana anamarisaga msima peke yake.
utamwogeresha saa hii???
*in the background senior hears the wife saying* ' baba joni,iko paul kwa simu, utamsugumsia au nigojee ujipaguse?
A husband is the reflection of his wife and VV.
come Monday,tissue is measured na ruler.
Nadondosha meli kubwa seuze ngalawa!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/22/2008 Posts: 2,703
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Shak wrote:Muheani wrote:Shak wrote:@muheani, i'm thinking more of the urban set up as opposed to the village Good I Schooled In The Village...migrated To The City..went Back To The Village For former Mrs. The Village For The Villager.. The Urbane For The Urbanites. I know very many cases of men who become successful then leave their village wives to marry those who are more educated. There is one who left his wife coz once the phone rang while the man was in the toilet and the wife answered. Turns out it was his senior at work. Rather than tell the guy that the husband was not available and would call later, she told him that he was in the toilet and caused him a lot of embarrassment I have heard another version of this story. This one is a guy who had a mpango wa kando who was not very educated. He would go to the mpango's house land his airplane then take a shower in the bafu ya nje at the mpango's place. So he goes to the bafu and his phone rings............ The guy comes from the bafu he is feeling nice and fresh and happy. He is chit chatting happily with his mpango. Then she tells him as a matter of fact very casually as she hands him his phone "kuna mama amekupigia simu, lakini nimemwambia uko kwa bafu unaoga." The guy gets his phone and checks to see that last received call was from his wife..... 
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/8/2013 Posts: 4,068 Location: At Large.
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essyk wrote:@ big chick.
picture the wife telling his senior' ako kwa shoo,hata nirikuwa naperekea yeye tisue kwa maana anamarisaga msima peke yake.
utamwogeresha saa hii???
*in the background senior hears the wife saying* ' baba joni,iko paul kwa simu, utamsugumsia au nigojee ujipaguse?
A husband is the reflection of his wife and VV.
come Monday,tissue is measured na ruler.
Essyk.Kama ni hiyo even me I will run her out of town. But She didnt get dim overnight.He must have seen that before marrying her. So he should work towards bringing her up sio kudump. Imagine the story being said thst she was dumped coz of telling husbands boss that he is in the loo.Mbaya sana hiyo story. Love is beautiful and so are those who share it.With Love, Marriage is an amazing event in ones life time, the foundation of joy, happiness and success.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/15/2011 Posts: 4,518
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@ big chick,at the old wazees meeting.  @ shak,ur stats below. Quote:Divorce cases filed at Milimani are drawn from Christian marriages. In 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2005, the number of divorce cases filed at Milimani were 101, 115, 206, 296 and 295 respectively. In 2007 and 2008, the numbers rose to 357 and 369.
Hundreds of couples are seeking legal advice, with some law firms handling as high as 26 cases, and others up to 50 cases, in a year
On average, the registrar of marriages at the Attorney General’s office records about 174 civil marriages in a month, basing on the statistics of January to May 2008, when they had 697 ceremonies and 925 from January to May, 2009.
Mukiriiiii!! say something. Is pre nup a sin?? cz I fully support it. "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
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Rank: Member Joined: 5/2/2010 Posts: 305
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Bigchick wrote:Shak wrote:Muheani wrote:Shak wrote:@muheani, i'm thinking more of the urban set up as opposed to the village Good I Schooled In The Village...migrated To The City..went Back To The Village For former Mrs. The Village For The Villager.. The Urbane For The Urbanites. I know very many cases of men who become successful then leave their village wives to marry those who are more educated. There is one who left his wife coz once the phone rang while the man was in the toilet and the wife answered. Turns out it was his senior at work. Rather than tell the guy that the husband was not available and would call later, she told him that he was in the toilet and caused him a lot of embarrassment Aii! That one had his own issues and was waiying for an excuse to make thr move. What is embarrassing about being in the toilet.Kwani that Snr doesnt go to the toilet? Kwani he could take his wife for basic etiquette training? Chenzi yeye. On the topic:-Our poor mamas perservered abuse, neglect, humilation etc because hawakuwa na chao.They were housewifes to be seen never to be heard.With due respect to men some of you are baaaad.So gals of today are able to either straighten you up or walk out and lead a quite life without you. Solution to this crisis, communication, respect for each other and give and take and above all Love each other. Most of the issues arise due to the equality thrive. See...its ok for a woman to (want to) become like a man. Problem is...man married a woman. Soon as the woman "becomes" a man, you have two men in the house. Naturally, man looks for a woman....the "man" is left bitching and trashing men.
“Once the last tree is cut and the last river poisoned,you will find you cannot eat your money" Traditional saying.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/22/2009 Posts: 2,449 Location: Africa
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hindi ni riu wrote:[quote=Bigchick][quote=Shak][quote=Muheani]
On the topic:-Our poor mamas perservered abuse, neglect, humilation etc because hawakuwa na chao.They were housewifes to be seen never to be heard.
My brother is on marriage number 3 now. I picked his mind to find out what the issue is as in why can't he stay married to one lady for long. He opined that growing up with my father as his role model he remembers how the parents would constantly fight, my father would drink as much as he wanted, walk in and out of the home as he pleased among other things that would stress mama out and yet she still persevered and stayed in the marriage. So he tells me that he also is not perfect, just like father he expects to have MWKs and do the same kinds of things he did while still expecting the marriage to work but the mamas of today have changed. They are fighting back. I wished him well with no. 3 wondering how long this one will last
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