Ngogoyo wrote:
I have copy pasted all your contributions since some of them stand out like @MC dreads, i will read them in the evening.
Thank you all
I am not a weakling neither a wife beater but there comes a time that a man has to be a man he never envisioned.
I will post my next course of action by kesho and definately will seek to talk with a professional (alone)
she told me jana morning she is going to their home to see ailing dad yet didnt bother to ask me if okay (siwezirifuse) but its in order to show care.
harudi kwangu anytime till jubilee itoke gover......
Ngogoyo listen up, I am known to my friends as the relationship counselor so I hope this helps even remotely:
Plan 1: Tell wifey you want to take her out without the Ngogoyolet and have a serious discussion about how you feel. Do not mince the words, matter of fact write all you want to tell her on a paper and let her know. Pour out your feelings and because you obviously love her, let her know this too. Tell her that if she's not willing to change, you will have no other choice but to leave.
Plan 2: Watch what happens after that. Arrange for more dates just the two of you (Could be she's suffering from Post Partum depression which is a know for some women after they give birth (unless she was like this prior then you're screwed).
Plan 3: Go to your local church or join one and ask for help from your pastor, attend frequent help sessions for couples in your area, use the internet to find info on this. Watch for any type of change.
Plan 4: Relieve your wife of home duties once in a while so she can go have some alone time even if it's to that church that she goes to (whatever her preference is).
Plan 4: Don't forget to involve your and her parents to help out. 2 heads are better than one. Avoid friends who will tell you to not even try and run (unless of course this woman continues with her violent ways).
After you do all these and she does not change, leave without looking back. Get your financial shit together if you haven's and walk out and do not look back. Remember you have a child together so tell her it's a trial separation to see how it goes. If she tries to black-mail you with the child by trying to pop pills, etc, record her on the phone and use that as basis for you to get your child. No way should a child stay with a mentally unstable parent. This will force her to seek personal help. Meanwhile, take @Callaspade out on a date and see what comes out of that. Good luck my dude.
Believe me if you do everything and even to an extent you are almost humiliating yourself to save this marriage, if she still messes up you will be able to move on without so much of hurt. This is what I do.