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Rank: Member Joined: 8/14/2009 Posts: 244
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rryyzz wrote:stock.enigma wrote:[quote=essyk]Your story sounds like a fairy tale. marry shida,stay single shida,separate,shida,divorce shida,date shida!! the only place without shida is death. move on.  In other words, DIE ????? why mum ? So as to get peace, the one item that seems so elusive when alive. There are two options, Option 1: Remove yourself from the problem. Option 2: Remove the problem from you.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/26/2012 Posts: 15,980
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Ngogoyo wrote:Mukiri wrote:Ngogoyo wrote:
I have copy pasted all your contributions since some of them stand out like @MC dreads, i will read them in the evening.
Thank you all
I am not a weakling neither a wife beater but there comes a time that a man has to be a man he never envisioned.
I will post my next course of action by kesho and definately will seek to talk with a professional (alone)
she told me jana morning she is going to their home to see ailing dad yet didnt bother to ask me if okay (siwezirifuse) but its in order to show care.
harudi kwangu anytime till jubilee itoke gover......
Is she also crying on the shoulders of another? she is faithful that i know with surerity up there@magigi i meant amekataa tuone marriage counsellor na hata niki advise yeye on how to react to life issues she doesnt respond of late its all about religion (disguised as godliness) and local gospel music listening for her i tried to do as someone up there has proposed (teach a lesson i.e. go out like 2-4 times a week and come late)but this makes her suicidal (yaani once alimeza dawa afe!) i am very respnsible and authoritative but huyu amenishida. Ngogoyo wrote: for all i know @prime it started waaaay back from dating.
i blame myself for agreeing to marry her when she got paged.
I bet there's no need of visiting a counselor since you now know the root cause of the problem, it was very unwise for you to get hitched to a drama queen just because she was pregnant, this is her reality and you cant change it. Only she can do it. Now that she is MIA, I suggest you call the parents and let them know that you don't want her back for a while. Take a break and use this period to reflect on what the rest of your life is going to be like. All the best "There are only two emotions in the market, hope & fear. The problem is you hope when you should fear & fear when you should hope: - Jesse Livermore
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 10/25/2007 Posts: 1,574
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Ngogoyo wrote:Mukiri wrote:Ngogoyo wrote:
I have copy pasted all your contributions since some of them stand out like @MC dreads, i will read them in the evening.
Thank you all
I am not a weakling neither a wife beater but there comes a time that a man has to be a man he never envisioned.
I will post my next course of action by kesho and definately will seek to talk with a professional (alone)
she told me jana morning she is going to their home to see ailing dad yet didnt bother to ask me if okay (siwezirifuse) but its in order to show care.
harudi kwangu anytime till jubilee itoke gover......
Is she also crying on the shoulders of another? she is faithful that i know with surerity up there@magigi i meant amekataa tuone marriage counsellor na hata niki advise yeye on how to react to life issues she doesnt respond of late its all about religion (disguised as godliness) and local gospel music listening for her i tried to do as someone up there has proposed (teach a lesson i.e. go out like 2-4 times a week and come late)but this makes her suicidal ( yaani once alimeza dawa afe!) i am very respnsible and authoritative but huyu amenishida. Suicidal tendecies?! Wow! Unless she was attention seeking (most kumeza dawa ladies don't really want to die), this is always a danger sign. She will kill you and your son. Could she be depressed? Set out to correct the world's wrongs and you will most certainly wind up adding to them.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/20/2009 Posts: 1,402
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N we have refused our parents to get wives for us???
?... Good Old Times...ngogoyo Hangekuwa Na Hizi Shinda
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/26/2008 Posts: 2,097
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@Ngogoyo, Check on which church she goes, some of these churches I don't trust them. Then again, suicide is ungodly hence she ain't a true Christian. Let her take the dawa. If she is lucky you get her, take her to hospital. She will think twice again. If she is not lucky, then All-Is-Good! You will be free. Take good care of your son, go for your heart this time round and enter into a working relationship. Not one for convenience! For now show that you are man enough, the CEO. FOR THE MAN IS NOT OF THE WOMAN; BUT THE WOMAN OF THE MAN "Never regret, if its good, its wonderful. If its bad, its experience."
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2008 Posts: 6,275 Location: Kenya
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Magigi wrote:oops wrote:Wendz wrote:Um Sayala wrote:Ni kubaya daddy. My experience:
Mine was always moody whenever I came late, and that was about 11pm, mostly from watching football.
Then I got fed up and told her staright....
"darling I love you but I will not stop watching football..Henry, Pires, Bergkamp... Sitawacha so the earlier u get used to it the better".
She accepted and moved on. ALMOST 14yrs now.
Marriage is a compromise, a few things you'll sacrifice, even some friends must be shed off BUT there are strong holds that she MUST admit broda, otherwise ajipange. This, and ZZE(something) are the best advise you can get for your situation. This is from a woman's point of view... What i would tell my son, the next time you are locked out of that bedroom, just remove the bedroom door, literally and let it stay like that for two days. Don't bother repairing it. change from the bathroom and act like you are perfectly ok with it. It will never be locked again. Make sure you have let her know this is what you intend to do when it happens next time and because she'll lock you out to test your resolve, do exactly that. On the Killing herself bit, this is the advise i gave my brother when the girlfriend kept giving him grief with the same stupid line, Just hand her a rope and tell her to call her people and let them know where she'll be jumping from exactly because you will not bother calling them when she does.... When she threatens to swallow medicine, tell her to call a pathologist to prescribe the most effective ones and give an invoice, you'll give her money to buy them. And tell her, when she dies, you will not take 3 months before you get married again.... She'll die of natural causes at 126 years... as a woman I second that. thanks auntie for nailing it. ...You tell a woman stuff like and hope to stay alive? She will dispatch you to your maker faster than you can believe! Look at what @Magigi is saying again... you fear taking action on your wife? Ati "si wife ataniua?" @Wendz you've spoken like 10 ladies..  I thought I know a lot but today I've learnt something from your post... Yaani pita na mlango, and let it remain like that  Tell these men that when you treat your woman like everything she says goes, is when you spoil her. SHe needs a strong man, not a pushover. Men need to be men - with strong will, - good leaders at home, - make their wives have sense of belonging by providing them maintenance
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2008 Posts: 6,275 Location: Kenya
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powerhse wrote:Brother, if you need help, read and read like 20 times comments by Urstill, Alphadoti and ZZE123. It seems you are watching so much soap operas, novels and such things on how to deal with a wife. Forget the counsellors and pastors.
My two cents here;
You need to be Man enough. Right now, you are more of a Broiler chicken. You need to harden yourself for you to have a stable family. After being married for like 10 yrs, i have learnt alot and still learning. If you allow your heart to be taken over by love, my friend you are finished. Running away will never give a solution because you will just get another lady worse than what you have.
You need to buy me a beer bro plus the three guys i mentioned up there for more details. This time, we leave the pub just slightly before dawn. @powerhse no thank you  Otherwise, your words are good for the man... Tell him we've been in this thing for years and we've seen these dramas and we are still with the same woman/en, and we're still learning
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/20/2008 Posts: 6,275 Location: Kenya
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Njung'e wrote:Print the feed-back herein and leave it on her desk. This is @guka and his ways I had not smiled for long... I'm just imagining her going through these comments. And then what should the guy do after that? Sit and watch her? I bet she'll stand with her hands at a kimbo and say "yaani..."
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Rank: Elder Joined: 7/11/2012 Posts: 5,222
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rryyzz wrote:stock.enigma wrote:[quote=essyk]Your story sounds like a fairy tale. marry shida,stay single shida,separate,shida,divorce shida,date shida!! the only place without shida is death. move on. In other words, DIE ????? why mum ? So as to get peace, the one item that seems so elusive when alive. There is a source of peace that surpasses all understanding
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/31/2008 Posts: 7,081 Location: Kenya
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Read this bro...Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl. I find it so deep and inspiring. It is one of those books you will read over and over again!
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