@ Ngogoyo,

One of the key requirements for a woman is security and this is why they are predisposed towards the institution of marriage.

The rules and regulations around an ideal marriage allow women to settle down and bring forth offspring in a secure environment that ensures their needs are taken care of.

That your wife insists that you be at home by 6 pm is a pointer towards past negative experience either on your part or her past e.g. her father was a drunk or was absent during her formative years or something you may have done before you met her and she thinks you might repeat it to the detriment of the family and the marriage setup.

Way forward? Well I don't have the answers but what I know is that you need to get to the genesis of the problem and deal with it otherwise you will end up creating new problems that build resentment and may end badly.

In case you were wondering about your needs within the marriage. At this stage they don't matter. If you don't agree ask the women on Wazua.

My final advise to you is wacha stress, drink Hibiscus tea, accept and sit down.

Sad. Very sad. My take on this. Play it safe. You need to be there 20 years down the line for this child you really are after protecting. There is nothing sad as a man who has given up. It is a sorry sight. You need to take charge of your life and your family (those who want to be part of it anyway). Plan your exit strategy carefully. Sort out your properties and finances. If you are holding plots etc, dispose a few over months. Be humble. No threats. Then one day calmly say what you will take and what you will not take. Violence is a NO NO. If she cant accept just plain move out and rent elsewhere.
During this time do not rush to re-marry or keep a Mpango wa Kando. Give yourself at least a year before you date. A year is enough time to sober up, see the situation from a relaxed mind and to give a chance for to your wife to introspect. Support the Kid. Sometimes you need to be away to give the mama time to think by herself and weigh things out. And she needs to also decide if she needs you in that house. And as the head of that house. Otherwise unless she appreciates your presence in her life, you will be in for one hard ride. Buckle up. Please do not die because of your son. Both physical, mental and emotional death. It is not worth it. A marriage MUST NOT work. It will never make sense to persevere year after year. You will never actualize your potential and chances are high that you will slip into bad habits to cope with the situation. If nothing is resolved satisfactorily, just know that you will eventually get someone else who loves, admires you and pushes you to be the best you can. But no matter what… your son is your blood. And as someone said, you will eventually have a relationship with him. Quit dying and start living. be a man and give direction to your family. It is TOTALLY not acceptable to be hit in public or private or to be somewad in view of others.

update us of any progress so far.

@ZZE123 is talking a lot of sense here. His points may look harsh or too hard but, it is the way things are.

I always tell men here
that if you become strong and never allow to be manipulated, you come out a winner.

For example
when @ZZE123 kept strong to resist the temptation of talking to her first, and apologizing, that was strength right there.
She was waiting for him to break first, then from there on the pace would be set going forward.

Also, one of the ways of punishing
Psychologically: that you should have the strength of deserting from bed i.e. I mean you leave the bed for her and sleep on the floor or couch.
Resist the temptation of trying to make up things until she does.
If she's good woman, she will get out of bed at 2am, looking for you...

@richdad, @theman192000 have put it well
You have already given this woman a lot of power.
She sees you as weak. I think there is resentment. Maybe you have not been fulfilling her needs.
Some of the rights of woman I mentioned and some @wazuans said "oh this", "oh that"...

@Ngong has pointed out a very important issue.
Your obsession with your son!
Didn't you know that the son comes first after the mother?
I mean the mother first, then the children.
Once the wife is happy, the children will see this and be happy.

But when you put your son ahead of the wife, she will wonder who is important in that house!

Key points from here:
- plan your exit strategy
- treat mother and son well
- once you're ready, inform her
- move out
- support your child, fully (food, clothing, school, medical, maybe housing if you can afford etc)
- take time before you choose another woman...

You never know, she might reform within the year and run to you very fast!!!