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Stressed
Ngogoyo
#1 Posted : Tuesday, May 21, 2013 9:00:14 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 6/22/2011
Posts: 561
Location: House
Members of esteemed wazua i am in need of your help

direct to the point...

I have (probably had) a family, young one at that since ngogoyolet is 2yrs and ngogoyo hitting 30. Wife is the problem (they are always but this is different).

She has dared to beat me and once slapped me while asleep in dining room. (na hata hhelp akaona). Kisa na maana i came late (1am) from a workmate farewell and infact i had informed her i will be late as i always do.

I love her but i am not allowed to go anywhere at night past 6pm (not unless in campus, work or their home).

what do i do????. She has abused my long close friends over the phone (both male & female).said bad things about mum, failed to open for me couple of times at night, locked bedroom ndio nisiingie during day, no wifey duties Sad etc

i love her & cant hit her yet i can beat her burukenge but i know for a man it will be straight to jail.

i love my son soooo much that i feel so stresed at the thought of seperating with her since she will definately take the mboy due to his age.

she doest accept any social thing i do neither allow us to see a marriage counsellor neither gets open when i seek dialogue....

at this rate i will lose my job due to non-concentration, ulcers zimecheck in and this is not "my friend"
Meduza
#2 Posted : Tuesday, May 21, 2013 9:20:19 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 2/7/2013
Posts: 447
Location: Nairobi
OMG am so sorry for you....sad what some women become after marriage, they dont realise what they hv till its gone. I think you should seek a counsellor to save your soul, you can always do it alone, maybe from there you wl see your light.
You cant win, unless you first begin....
Kusadikika
#3 Posted : Tuesday, May 21, 2013 9:27:33 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/22/2008
Posts: 2,723
Pole sana bro. I say feel deeply and think clearly about yourself. Put yourself first. Put everything about this relationship on a scale (Ratili). Think about all that is good about it and all that is not good about it. If the good outweighs the bad stay in and work on your marriage. If the bad outweighs the good achana nayo and as the Jubilants like to say "move on."
faa
#4 Posted : Tuesday, May 21, 2013 9:30:25 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 5/8/2007
Posts: 709
You need to man up and take charge of your home as the man

Feeling sorry for yourself doesn't help
murchr
#5 Posted : Tuesday, May 21, 2013 9:33:03 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 2/26/2012
Posts: 15,980
Ngogoyo wrote:
Members of esteemed wazua i am in need of your help

direct to the point...

I have (probably had) a family, young one at that since ngogoyolet is 2yrs and ngogoyo hitting 30. Wife is the problem (they are always but this is different).

She has dared to beat me and once slapped me while asleep in dining room. (na hata hhelp akaona). Kisa na maana i came late (1am) from a workmate farewell and infact i had informed her i will be late as i always do.

I love her but i am not allowed to go anywhere at night past 6pm (not unless in campus, work or their home).

what do i do????. She has abused my long close friends over the phone (both male & female).said bad things about mum, failed to open for me couple of times at night, locked bedroom ndio nisiingie during day, no wifey duties Sad etc

i love her & cant hit her yet i can beat her burukenge but i know for a man it will be straight to jail.

i love my son soooo much that i feel so stresed at the thought of seperating with her since she will definately take the mboy due to his age.

she doest accept any social thing i do neither allow us to see a marriage counsellor neither gets open when i seek dialogue....

at this rate i will lose my job due to non-concentration, ulcers zimecheck in and this is not "my friend"


Listen boss....hio kitu inaitwa love does not exist, wewe ndio unaumia. Just pack your bags and move out. Talk to the parents and let them know that you're considering calling it quits. Another Wazuan also shared his predicament here and he said marriage was not for him. You can file at the courts to have your son
"There are only two emotions in the market, hope & fear. The problem is you hope when you should fear & fear when you should hope: - Jesse Livermore
.
tycho
#6 Posted : Tuesday, May 21, 2013 9:42:44 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
You need to visit a counselor alone. This will help you find a perspective on how to go about your situation.

It's like you've reported a case to the police. An investigation needs to be done, a trial conducted then a judgment made.

marko
#7 Posted : Tuesday, May 21, 2013 9:54:52 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 1/7/2007
Posts: 838
Ngogoyo wrote:
Members of esteemed wazua i am in need of your help

direct to the point...

I have (probably had) a family, young one at that since ngogoyolet is 2yrs and ngogoyo hitting 30. Wife is the problem (they are always but this is different).

She has dared to beat me and once slapped me while asleep in dining room. (na hata hhelp akaona). Kisa na maana i came late (1am) from a workmate farewell and infact i had informed her i will be late as i always do.

I love her but i am not allowed to go anywhere at night past 6pm (not unless in campus, work or their home).

what do i do????. She has abused my long close friends over the phone (both male & female).said bad things about mum, failed to open for me couple of times at night, locked bedroom ndio nisiingie during day, no wifey duties Sad etc

i love her & cant hit her yet i can beat her burukenge but i know for a man it will be straight to jail.

i love my son soooo much that i feel so stresed at the thought of seperating with her since she will definately take the mboy due to his age.

she doest accept any social thing i do neither allow us to see a marriage counsellor neither gets open when i seek dialogue....

at this rate i will lose my job due to non-concentration, ulcers zimecheck in and this is not "my friend"


This is what you do. During the holiday, tell them you are taking them for holiday at her home. Then come back home.Kwanza change the main door lock and the your bedroom. Enjoy the weeks alone and when you get them make sure that you stamp your authority in the house.
WHO DARES WINS
Nabwire
#8 Posted : Tuesday, May 21, 2013 9:55:57 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 7/22/2011
Posts: 1,325
That is so sad, kwani ni jela? Ati you cant go anywhere past 6 pm? Pole sana, doesn't sound like a healthy relationship but then again every story has 3 sides. Try individual counseling and go from there.
Mukiri
#9 Posted : Tuesday, May 21, 2013 10:00:17 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 7/11/2012
Posts: 5,222
Please don't leave your wife nor your son. Don't even let that be an option. Much as this may look unlikely, this is when they need you most. This is when you need them most. Tests are not in the good times, its in times like this when you know the stuff you are made of.

My take. Come to our church, CITAM Valley road. Give your life to the Lord. See a counselor (Free-of-charge). Get a mentor and heal your marriage. On 26th, running for 6 Sundays from 2PM, we have 'Awaken the sleeping Giant' specifically for us men.

PS: In the meantime, as first aid, to quote Chris Rock, don't hit her... but you can shake the hell out of her!

Proverbs 19:21
wairegi
#10 Posted : Tuesday, May 21, 2013 10:00:31 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 6/4/2007
Posts: 215
Young man, this things don't happen overnight. But you still not far. Save you self and move or just give a few slaps.

You are already in some form of slavery and 'love' is overlated. Move on young man
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