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'Downloading' once in a day
Rank: Elder Joined: 2/8/2013 Posts: 4,068 Location: At Large.
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Impunity wrote:Bigchick wrote:@jguru.........Pse issue a caveat on castor oil...that it is not recommended for those with "buns in the oven"especially from the seventh month as it could trigger early labour.
@Mawinder.....Wazuans are bothered about you because they do not want to loose a family member or visit you in hospital.Its sad to see a loved one in pain.We also need the Gachie security when necessary so we need you around.
About the greens being mentioned, I want to emphsise in spinach and mchicha in your diet.
They will cause the downloading to happen early morning when you wake up so no need to look for Kanjo loos in town and the experience will be pleasant. Na hizi spinach na mchicha anakuriwo mbichi ama boiled?  Changanya kwa the meal of the day.E.g Githeri ya green maize, mwitemania beans, carrots and spinach/mchicha specially made for you by madam akiongeza tuspices na mapenzi.Also ensure to eat early always ie by 8.00 latest.Matokeo kwa small room ni wow experience. Love is beautiful and so are those who share it.With Love, Marriage is an amazing event in ones life time, the foundation of joy, happiness and success.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,328 Location: Masada
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Bigchick wrote:Impunity wrote:Bigchick wrote:@jguru.........Pse issue a caveat on castor oil...that it is not recommended for those with "buns in the oven"especially from the seventh month as it could trigger early labour.
@Mawinder.....Wazuans are bothered about you because they do not want to loose a family member or visit you in hospital.Its sad to see a loved one in pain.We also need the Gachie security when necessary so we need you around.
About the greens being mentioned, I want to emphsise in spinach and mchicha in your diet.
They will cause the downloading to happen early morning when you wake up so no need to look for Kanjo loos in town and the experience will be pleasant. Na hizi spinach na mchicha anakuriwo mbichi ama boiled? Changanya kwa the meal of the day.E.g Githeri ya green maize, mwitemania beans, carrots and spinach/mchicha specially made for you by madam akiongeza tuspices na mapenzi.Also ensure to eat early always ie by 8.00 latest.Matokeo kwa small room ni wow experience. Na kama sina madam? Can I buy these from a local canteen? I was thinking of munching them raw as the Nyeri man did last week, is there any -ve effect? Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 4/30/2008 Posts: 6,029
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Impunity wrote:Bigchick wrote:Impunity wrote:Bigchick wrote:@jguru.........Pse issue a caveat on castor oil...that it is not recommended for those with "buns in the oven"especially from the seventh month as it could trigger early labour.
@Mawinder.....Wazuans are bothered about you because they do not want to loose a family member or visit you in hospital.Its sad to see a loved one in pain.We also need the Gachie security when necessary so we need you around.
About the greens being mentioned, I want to emphsise in spinach and mchicha in your diet.
They will cause the downloading to happen early morning when you wake up so no need to look for Kanjo loos in town and the experience will be pleasant. Na hizi spinach na mchicha anakuriwo mbichi ama boiled? Changanya kwa the meal of the day.E.g Githeri ya green maize, mwitemania beans, carrots and spinach/mchicha specially made for you by madam akiongeza tuspices na mapenzi.Also ensure to eat early always ie by 8.00 latest.Matokeo kwa small room ni wow experience. Na kama sina madam? Can I buy these from a local canteen? I was thinking of munching them raw as the Nyeri man did last week, is there any -ve effect? Why would a wazuan with all his money eat vegetables or is it being mean?I thought wazuans are beyond eating vegetables!!!!!
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,328 Location: Masada
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washiku wrote:Prime wrote:Apart from Greens, fruits and constant water intake throughout the day, try this. Download at exactly the same time every day. Say say early morning. Take a bath. Try wait till the same time the next morning. same time. Do it for a month. Funny thing is that you will Always feel like downloading at exactly that same time. The body tends to get used to routine. The urge will always come at that same time and the body will always tend to push out good quantities. It works  From experience?  Practice makes perfect. Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,328 Location: Masada
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mawinder wrote:Impunity wrote:Bigchick wrote:Impunity wrote:Bigchick wrote:@jguru.........Pse issue a caveat on castor oil...that it is not recommended for those with "buns in the oven"especially from the seventh month as it could trigger early labour.
@Mawinder.....Wazuans are bothered about you because they do not want to loose a family member or visit you in hospital.Its sad to see a loved one in pain.We also need the Gachie security when necessary so we need you around.
About the greens being mentioned, I want to emphsise in spinach and mchicha in your diet.
They will cause the downloading to happen early morning when you wake up so no need to look for Kanjo loos in town and the experience will be pleasant. Na hizi spinach na mchicha anakuriwo mbichi ama boiled? Changanya kwa the meal of the day.E.g Githeri ya green maize, mwitemania beans, carrots and spinach/mchicha specially made for you by madam akiongeza tuspices na mapenzi.Also ensure to eat early always ie by 8.00 latest.Matokeo kwa small room ni wow experience. Na kama sina madam? Can I buy these from a local canteen? I was thinking of munching them raw as the Nyeri man did last week, is there any -ve effect? Why would a wazuan with all his money eat vegetables or is it being mean?I thought wazuans are beyond eating vegetables!!!!! Wazuans are a constipated lot! Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 2/8/2013 Posts: 4,068 Location: At Large.
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Impunity wrote:Bigchick wrote:Impunity wrote:Bigchick wrote:@jguru.........Pse issue a caveat on castor oil...that it is not recommended for those with "buns in the oven"especially from the seventh month as it could trigger early labour.
@Mawinder.....Wazuans are bothered about you because they do not want to loose a family member or visit you in hospital.Its sad to see a loved one in pain.We also need the Gachie security when necessary so we need you around.
About the greens being mentioned, I want to emphsise in spinach and mchicha in your diet.
They will cause the downloading to happen early morning when you wake up so no need to look for Kanjo loos in town and the experience will be pleasant. Na hizi spinach na mchicha anakuriwo mbichi ama boiled? Changanya kwa the meal of the day.E.g Githeri ya green maize, mwitemania beans, carrots and spinach/mchicha specially made for you by madam akiongeza tuspices na mapenzi.Also ensure to eat early always ie by 8.00 latest.Matokeo kwa small room ni wow experience. Na kama sina madam? Can I buy these from a local canteen? I was thinking of munching them raw as the Nyeri man did last week, is there any -ve effect? Madam ni mapenzi tuu angeongeza kwa mapishi so kama uko bila usijali.Ambia mtu ya canteen how you want your food done. Raw:-No idea about side effects but maybe hakuna coz I have seen guys do raw spinach juice. Love is beautiful and so are those who share it.With Love, Marriage is an amazing event in ones life time, the foundation of joy, happiness and success.
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 11/1/2008 Posts: 834
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nostoppingthis wrote:Coolbull wrote:Several years ago I heard that Indians in India have a way of making their babies empty their bowels once a day.
Does anyone know how that is possible given that one might take three meals in a day? [color=red]For babies, I have previously seen a piece of kipande soap inserted hapo nyuma...the stuff comes out!!! YOTE... takes me wayyyyy back If you are going to be thinking only one thing, you might as well be thinking big. -Donald J . Trump
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Rank: Member Joined: 3/25/2013 Posts: 552 Location: Asgard
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livie wrote:nostoppingthis wrote:Coolbull wrote:Several years ago I heard that Indians in India have a way of making their babies empty their bowels once a day.
Does anyone know how that is possible given that one might take three meals in a day? [color=red]For babies, I have previously seen a piece of kipande soap inserted hapo nyuma...the stuff comes out!!! YOTE... takes me wayyyyy back aaaah, the old kipande soap switcheroo, works like a charm
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Rank: Elder Joined: 5/25/2012 Posts: 4,105 Location: 08c
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mawinder wrote:Mukiri wrote:Prime wrote:Impunity wrote:jguru wrote:mawinder wrote:It is not bothering me and I don't see why it should bother wazuans not unless your friends are doctors who want to con me. It should bother you. It leads to other health complications if it is not sorted out soon enough. Like haemorrhoids, loss of blood and rectal prolapses. It is also a sign of colorectal cancer (a tumour growing that blocks the intestines). You should poop, minimum, 3 times a week. Eat more fiber, weetabix, fruits; drink lots of water; go to the gym and get some exercise; don't ignore the urge to have a bowel movement; take a spoonful of castor oil each morning, before you take your breakfast. Explain this and where can I get a bottle of this? Medicinal Castor oil is found in chemists. Supermarkets also stock them but usually for cosmetic purposes. First time I'm hearing about castor oil. Half a lemon in a glass of water, second thing after you wake up should sort you. I don't like greens at all as I ate them in plenty when I was still young and after working hard in life,there is no reason I should take them as I can afford better food.4 cold tuskers does the trick. prime wrote:Apart from Greens, fruits and constant water intake throughout the day, try this. Download at exactly the same time every day. Say say early morning. Take a bath. Try wait till the same time the next morning. same time. Do it for a month. Funny thing is that you will Always feel like downloading at exactly that same time. The body tends to get used to routine. The urge will always come at that same time and the body will always tend to push out good quantities. It works Castor oil, Fiber, Fruits, Gym, Lemon, Greens, salads, Tusker blah blah blah. My class missed the 'downloading' being a basic need!! It's just a side show to distract oneself MAX ONCE A WEEK Pesa Nane plans to be shilingi when he grows up.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 12/13/2006 Posts: 2,589
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mawinder wrote:
Why would a wazuan with all his money eat vegetables or is it being mean?I thought wazuans are beyond eating vegetables!!!!!
My boss who's around 42 years but big bodied confided in me that he never used to take vegetables and fruits in his thirties, he used to think those are foods for children and women. He's now had 2 surgeries in 3 years - something to do with colostomy or something,can't remember the term. He's had haemorrhoids (sp) and all manner of unpleasant stomach, intestinal diseases. Nowadays he only eats boiled foods and takes fruits and vegis like nobody's business - doctors orders. Habari ndio hio, vile utafanya nayo hio ni yako... BEER IS LIVING PROOF THAT GOD LOVES US AND WANTS US TO BE HAPPY!
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Rank: Veteran Joined: 10/25/2007 Posts: 1,574
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Bigchick wrote:@jguru.........Pse issue a caveat on castor oil...that it is not recommended for those with "buns in the oven"especially from the seventh month as it could trigger early labour.
Thanks @Bigchick. CONTRAINDICATION: Not safe for a mother-to-be. Castor oil binds to receptors in the uterus and causes contractions the same way it binds to these receptors in the intestines causing bowel motility. Set out to correct the world's wrongs and you will most certainly wind up adding to them.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/29/2011 Posts: 2,242
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Mjasirii wrote:@Mawinder once a week kwani unakula nini? @ Mawinder, unless you are taking Githeri and Nyama Choma combination, once a week download interval is abnormal. "Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least." Goethe
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Rank: Member Joined: 2/27/2011 Posts: 518
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washiku wrote:Prime wrote:Apart from Greens, fruits and constant water intake throughout the day, try this. Download at exactly the same time every day. Say say early morning. Take a bath. Try wait till the same time the next morning. same time. Do it for a month. Funny thing is that you will Always feel like downloading at exactly that same time. The body tends to get used to routine. The urge will always come at that same time and the body will always tend to push out good quantities. It works From experience? Yeah!! has worked perfectly so far.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 6/17/2008 Posts: 23,365 Location: Nairobi
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People have discussed two very sick people for days without giving adequate advise, madaktari mko wapi? ..."Wewe ni mtu mdogo sana....na mwenye amekuandika pia ni mtu mdogo sana!".
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Rank: Member Joined: 11/9/2007 Posts: 420 Location: Nairobi
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McReggae wrote:People have discussed two very sick people for days without giving adequate advise, madaktari mko wapi? Hapa Hapa wazua republic 
Opinion is free, truth is sacred.
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Rank: Elder Joined: 4/30/2008 Posts: 6,029
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Blackberry wrote:McReggae wrote:People have discussed two very sick people for days without giving adequate advise, madaktari mko wapi? Hapa Hapa wazua republic From the past posts,I know that there are no doctors and teachers in wazua
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Rank: Member Joined: 10/23/2007 Posts: 604
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So far so good is the advice. At least now I know what works or at least seems to be working for others. Big thanks to Bigchick & prime. Prime ....it seems the timing thing can work well. Bigchick - I know the joy of the pleasant experience and the need not to go looking for kanjoo loos. Once early morning and no more urges to download and smelly/rotten farts coz of 'stale' shit. BigchickAbout the greens being mentioned, I want to emphsise in spinach and mchicha in your diet. They will cause the downloading to happen early morning when you wake up so no need to look for Kanjo loos in town and the experience will be pleasant. Changanya kwa the meal of the day.E.g Githeri ya green maize, mwitemania beans, carrots and spinach/mchicha specially made for you by madam akiongeza tuspices na mapenzi.Also ensure to eat early always ie by 8.00 latest.Matokeo kwa small room ni wow experience. PrimeApart from Greens, fruits and constant water intake throughout the day, try this. Download at exactly the same time every day. Say say early morning. Take a bath. Try wait till the same time the next morning. same time. Do it for a month. Funny thing is that you will Always feel like downloading at exactly that same time. The body tends to get used to routine. The urge will always come at that same time and the body will always tend to push out good quantities. It works
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Rank: Elder Joined: 11/28/2006 Posts: 1,799
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Huyu Castor ni ule Semenya?
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Rank: Member Joined: 2/7/2013 Posts: 447 Location: Nairobi
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smano wrote:Now that we're on this topic, I guess it is also important to know the type of downloads we experience...(I think I've ever sent this before,labda hata kwa hio post ya @dunkang)
Ghost Shit
You know you’ve sh**. There’s s*** on the toilet paper,but alas! No s*** in the bowl!
Teflon Coated Shit
Comes out so slick,clean and easy that you don’t feel it. No traces of s*** on the toilet paper,you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it!
Gooey Shit
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn’t come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don’t stain it. This s*** leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.
Second Thought Shit
You’re all done wiping your ass and you’re about to stand up when you realize it.....you’ve got some more. Normally coincides with the toilet paper running out!
Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit
This kind is the kind of s*** that killed Elvis. It doesn’t come until you’re all sweaty,trembling and purple from straining so hard.
Bali Belly Shit
You s*** so much you lose 5 kilos.
Right Now Shit
You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down. Normally coincides with finding another person in the toilet that you run to. Normally experienced when you go to shit at a latrine during a function in shagz after eating Mutura
King Kong or Commode Choker Shit
This s*** is so big that you know it won’t go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of s*** usually happens at someone else’s house.
Wet Cheeks Shit
This s*** hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your ass wet.
Wish Shit
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times,but no shit!
Cement Block or Oh God Shit
You wish you’d gotten a spinal block before you shit.
Snake Shit
This s*** is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.
Cork Shit (Also Known as Floater Shit)
Even after the third flush, it’s still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This s*** usually happens at someone else’s house.
Indian Food Shit (also called Maharaj Kijeiho Shit)
You’ll know it’s alright to eat again when your ass**** stops burning.
Beer Drunk Shit
This happens the day after the night before. Normally your s*** doesn’t smell too bad,but this s*** is BAD. Usually there’s somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of s*** also usually happens at someone else’s house.
The Frightened Turtle
The kind of s*** that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in
The Bungee Shit
The kind of s*** that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water.
The Ring of Fire Shit
The kind of s*** where you eat really spicy food and your ass**** feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.
The Crippler
The kind of s*** where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down
The Big Bobber
The kind of s*** that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.
The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
The kind of s*** that hits you when you’re trapped in your car in a traffic jam.
The Incredible Hulk Shit
The king of s*** that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice its normal size.
The Jack the Ripper Shit
The kind of s*** that yanks out the hair around your ass as it pushes its way out.
The Party Pooper
The giant s*** you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet,you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.
The Toxic Gas Shit
The kind of s*** that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish,and then you wake up in some strange South American town without your kidneys.
Dirty Bowl Shit
The kind of s*** that comes out in a million pieces a second,reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion,and splatters all over the toilet bowl. Normally happens before you sit on the bowl properly (Kiminjithia)
The Windy City Shit
When you sit down,and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a s***
Oh Shit! Shit
You s*** so much and wipe your ass so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH SHIT!
The Never Ending Shit
It’s the s*** that keeps running out of your ass like pea,and just when you start wiping your ass your stomach gargles and splash,more s*** runs out. This always happens after eating bloody mutura
Ouch That Hurt Shit
The type of s*** that leaves you feeling like you just hoped onto a bicycle without a seat. Sensation usually lasts hours
 You cant win, unless you first begin....
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Rank: Elder Joined: 3/2/2009 Posts: 26,328 Location: Masada
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Fresh Paipai works wonders for me daily. Its all wow in the small room. Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.
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