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FRM2011		#31 Posted : Thursday, May 02, 2013 6:26:32 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 11/5/2010 Posts: 2,459		Kusadikika wrote: Kitanda usichokilalia hujui kunguni wake. I decided sometime ago never to have an opinion on relationship matters after hearing only one side of a story and even if I heard from both people I would still be reluctant to form an opinion because in relationships people remember things differently in different states of passion............ I guess what I am saying is I can never tell whether the beating was justified or not unless I was a witness to it and all that happened before the beating from the moment they first met. Achana na nyumba za watu. This is the best approach. One day we decided to talk to a friend about the wifey's MWK, thinking we were helping a brother. They actually separated for a while then they came back together. The guy stopped talking to us, then the wife came visiting my office in town. Sema kusomewa kama mtoto. She vented for about 15 minutes telling me to mind my marriage and leave hers alone. You should have seen me tail between the legs nodding like a zombie to avoid creating a scene in the office. From that day, even if i found my best friend's wife in a compromising situation, i mind my own business.
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richdad		#32 Posted : Thursday, May 02, 2013 7:12:23 PM
Rank: Member Joined: 2/12/2010 Posts: 474 Location: Nairobi		Denial, first sign of abused women. If you like her that much, please convince her to see a good psychologist, otherwise look for new friend coz she'll soon be dead. ***Next direction in the relationship***** 1. You should leave your job -- Gal resigns as she loves the boy. 2. Jamaa comes with a mapango home - gal is fine as she fears a beating - n coz she loves him. - This leads to HIV which will obviously kill her if the beating will not have done so. (I know I shouldn't have mentioned that). Whatever people call love is heavily overrated. Its a refined mixture of stupidity, naivety, low self esteem and lack of deep self awareness. Keep it simple
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Bigchick		#33 Posted : Thursday, May 02, 2013 7:37:47 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 2/8/2013 Posts: 4,068 Location: At Large.		gesowan wrote: how i wish it was made up ...she has no issue with money ...she works as a branch manager in one of the leading banks.... Hmmmmmm..... Now let me try and diagonise the problem 1.She is aged btn 32 and 38.An age where gals are desperate and think all good men are taken so she clings onto the one she has desperately. 2.Being a bank manager she has kedo 200k disposable income end month but her wants are 400k(To live as per societies expectation;-good neighbourhood, dresscode, hengjoints etal).So boyfie is monied and does top up thus she cannot walkout. The above coupled with the alleged great somesing she endurs the beating. 3rd option is she is having a struggling businessman who is trying to make ends meet and is more often than not stressed and suffers low self esteem thus releases his stress on her while asking for money from her. Whatever the case She should not allow herself to get that low.She will soon lose her job and the situation will be worse then he will walk out or kill her. Love is beautiful and so are those who share it.With Love, Marriage is an amazing event in ones life time, the foundation of joy, happiness and success.
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gesowan		#34 Posted : Thursday, May 02, 2013 7:42:27 PM
Rank: Member Joined: 11/6/2010 Posts: 289		thanks all ,
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tycho		#35 Posted : Thursday, May 02, 2013 8:09:05 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 7/1/2011 Posts: 8,804 Location: Nairobi		gesowan wrote: can someone out there explain to me why a man should beat a girlfriend so bad that she is hospitalised for a week.what advise do i give to my girlfriend who is being beaten by the boyfie...she loves him so much to let go...and the landing is great after the beating...as a woman i would not allow it to happen... This is about how people script their lives, and how they respond to 'structural hunger' I.e. How to spend time. The answer is psychotherapy provided slowly and indirectly.
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Kaigangio		#36 Posted : Thursday, May 02, 2013 8:18:51 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 2/27/2007 Posts: 2,768		gesowan wrote: can someone out there explain to me why a man should beat a girlfriend so bad that she is hospitalised for a week.what advise do i give to my girlfriend who is being beaten by the boyfie...she loves him so much to let go...and the landing is great after the beating...as a woman i would not allow it to happen... @ Gesowan This happens all the time... Scene 1 Gesowan knocks the friends door, as the wailing subsides...heavy footsteps with well defined long strides approach the door from the inside, unbolts and a dark tall heavily built silhoute stands at the door with his mouth froathing.. Gesowan: Good evening Solo Solo: Good evening Gesowan! What do you want?? Gesowan: I heard some commotion and screaming as i was passing by and i thought that you were under attack by thugs. That is why i was concerned as a friend. Solo: Thank you for your concern, but we are fine. You may lea.... A sulking voice in the background interrupts... Beth: Thank heavens Gesowan that you came. Your friend was almost killing me! He has been..... Solo: Will you shut up woman!!!!! Gesowan: May be Solo we need to talk. Could i come in please? Solo (after a long thought): Oookey. You may, but be as brief as you possibly could. Gesowan (as she takes a seat near the window): You know Solo in relationship set ups we all experience virtually similar problems including myself too.... Solo: You see this woman here, Beth, every time she comes to my house or I go to her’s, before i am leaving the house for work, makelele...every time i come from work, before i take any rest..makelele. We go for shopping, makelele. I give her lots of money, makelele. I give her no money, makelele!! It is makelele makelele!!! Mdomo mrefu all the time...... Beth: That is not true..... Gesowan: Oh i get the contention from both of you....... Beth: ........... Beth: ........... Gesowan: ........ Beth: ........ Beth: ......... Solo: .......... Beth: ........ Beth: ......... Solo: ........ Beth: ........ Gesowan: ......... .. .. .. Solo: So it has been you, Gesowan, all this time!!!! I can’t believe that you have been behind all our conflicts!!! Beth: Sure she is!!! It has always been her and I have always warned you Solo about her. I have always been innocent!!! Solo stands up in range and as the thick biceps inside the T-shirt starts to bulge he approaches the Gesowan direction. On sensing trouble Gesowan stands up and dashes for the door, not knowing that she is headed to the window. Feeling cornered, Gesowan looks at the approaching burning silhoute with pleading eyes...as Solo: Could you call the watchman honey!!! Beth: I will do that right away darling!!! Lesson....wait till either of them or both come to you seeking for your help!!!! *...besides, the presence of a safe alone does not signify that there is money inside...*
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chemos		#37 Posted : Thursday, May 02, 2013 8:29:25 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 11/28/2006 Posts: 1,799		Kaigangio wrote: gesowan wrote: can someone out there explain to me why a man should beat a girlfriend so bad that she is hospitalised for a week.what advise do i give to my girlfriend who is being beaten by the boyfie...she loves him so much to let go...and the landing is great after the beating...as a woman i would not allow it to happen... @ Gesowan This happens all the time... Scene 1 Gesowan knocks the friends door, as the wailing subsides...heavy footsteps with well defined long strides approach the door from the inside, unbolts and a dark tall heavily built silhoute stands at the door with his mouth froathing.. Gesowan: Good evening Solo Solo: Good evening Gesowan! What do you want?? Gesowan: I heard some commotion and screaming as i was passing by and i thought that you were under attack by thugs. That is why i was concerned as a friend. Solo: Thank you for your concern, but we are fine. You may lea.... A sulking voice in the background interrupts... Beth: Thank heavens Gesowan that you came. Your friend was almost killing me! He has been..... Solo: Will you shut up woman!!!!! Gesowan: May be Solo we need to talk. Could i come in please? Solo (after a long thought): Oookey. You may, but be as brief as you possibly could. Gesowan (as she takes a seat near the window): You know Solo in relationship set ups we all experience virtually similar problems including myself too.... Solo: You see this woman here, Beth, every time she comes to my house or I go to her’s, before i am leaving the house for work, makelele...every time i come from work, before i take any rest..makelele. We go for shopping, makelele. I give her lots of money, makelele. I give her no money, makelele!! It is makelele makelele!!! Mdomo mrefu all the time...... Beth: That is not true..... Gesowan: Oh i get the contention from both of you....... Beth: ........... Beth: ........... Gesowan: ........ Beth: ........ Beth: ......... Solo: .......... Beth: ........ Beth: ......... Solo: ........ Beth: ........ Gesowan: ......... .. .. .. Solo: So it has been you, Gesowan, all this time!!!! I can’t believe that you have been behind all our conflicts!!! Beth: Sure she is!!! It has always been her and I have always warned you Solo about her. I have always been innocent!!! Solo stands up in range and as the thick biceps inside the T-shirt starts to bulge he approaches the Gesowan direction. On sensing trouble Gesowan stands up and dashes for the door, not knowing that she is headed to the window. Feeling cornered, Gesowan looks at the approaching burning silhoute with pleading eyes...as Solo: Could you call the watchman honey!!! Beth: I will do that right away darling!!! Lesson....wait till either of them or both come to you seeking for your help!!!! Pole sana Kagizzard kwa yale yalikutendekaniwo....
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youcan'tstopusnow		#38 Posted : Thursday, May 02, 2013 8:49:31 PM
Rank: Chief Joined: 3/24/2010 Posts: 6,779 Location: Black Africa		Impunity wrote: gesowan wrote: can someone out there explain to me why a man should beat a girlfriend so bad that she is hospitalised for a week.what advise do i give to my girlfriend who is being beaten by the boyfie...she loves him so much to let go...and the landing is great after the beating...as a woman i would not allow it to happen... What other explanation do yu need? Case closed, petitioners and respondents to meet their own costs. You mean to say, gesowan should accept and move on? GOD BLESS YOUR LIFE
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maka		#39 Posted : Thursday, May 02, 2013 11:14:42 PM
Rank: Elder Joined: 4/22/2010 Posts: 11,522 Location: Nairobi		She deserves to be beaten... possunt quia posse videntur
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brayokasa4		#40 Posted : Thursday, May 02, 2013 11:40:57 PM
Rank: New-farer Joined: 10/13/2010 Posts: 95 Location: Nairobi		Kusadikika wrote: Kitanda usichokilalia hujui kunguni wake. I decided sometime ago never to have an opinion on relationship matters after hearing only one side of a story and even if I heard from both people I would still be reluctant to form an opinion because in relationships people remember things differently in different states of passion............ I guess what I am saying is I can never tell whether the beating was justified or not unless I was a witness to it and all that happened before the beating from the moment they first met. Achana na nyumba za watu. If you think you can, and if you think you can't , either way, you are right!
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