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Never again will i visit this institution.
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AlphDoti
#61 Posted : Monday, February 18, 2013 3:40:45 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,275
Location: Kenya
Mchanganuzi wrote:
...On the other hand, It’s never easy when it involves the person you loved most. That’s how it ended.

That's better. So, when you say "it ended", how ended is it? You're not devorsed yet, are you?

If you are still leaving together, try changing your game. I think you're taking these things too seriously. I think there's something she is trying to communicate to you and she feels you do not understand her. Infact, I think she's dissatisfied about something...
Are you focusing too much in your career and business and forgetting her needs?
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jguru
#62 Posted : Monday, February 18, 2013 3:44:08 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 10/25/2007
Posts: 1,574
Wa_ithaka wrote:
Mchanga@ I doubt your experience is unique. If you were to put a thread about how many fellas have nagging wives or wives who’ve turned out to be not as intelligent/wise as they seemed during the chase, it would probably reach 500 posts. Imho, this is one of the key drivers of mpango wa kando...perhaps try this route first


Ati @Mchanganuzi tries a mpango wa kando first to calm those tempers and to feel more appreciated. Makes sense.
Set out to correct the world's wrongs and you will most certainly wind up adding to them.
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2012
#63 Posted : Monday, February 18, 2013 4:05:52 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 12/9/2009
Posts: 6,592
Location: Nairobi
Wa_ithaka wrote:
If you were to put a thread about how many fellas have nagging wives or wives who’ve turned out to be not as intelligent/wise as they seemed during the chase, ...perhaps try this route first


That's really bad advice. Show me a wife who doesn't nag and I'll show you a wife who doesn't think you can amount to much.

Maybe @Mchanga should get out of his high horse first and do a self analysis of himself as well to check whether he's a contributor or eve the starter of this deterioration of his marriage. Changing the woman might not make him happy if the problem is him.

BBI will solve it :)
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rryyzz
#64 Posted : Monday, February 18, 2013 4:42:42 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 5/19/2012
Posts: 552
Mchanganuzi wrote:
Why do some good people and loved ones turn to be what we never dreamt of? I can’t understand why some people just like trouble; I hate nagging characters and somebody who makes it their business to drive you nuts all the time even without considering that you have responsibilities that needs you to have a sober mind for the benefit of both of you. U can’t have a sober mind when your better half who you knew to be understanding and mature can no longer seem to reason or understand your reasoning about the most mundane things and all what you can read in their acts is an effort to put you down. I initially thought it could have been a case of undermining me coz of my quiet nature and, the only thing she never knew was that I am usually kind and the cool coz I can't afford to unleash my true temper on someone but couldn’t hold it more. I just don’t like even mentioning that I ended up smashing my laptop and a phone due to anger and can’t cope with an imagination that I could one day get to such a point again. It’s not funny when all your kind pleas for a change falls on deaf ears and the only obvious conclusion is that a decision has been made to make your life miserable. I don’t want to sacrifice my business and career due to lack of peace of mind, I don’t want to get to a point where am struggling to breath for anger or even a point where I can assault someone. May be, had Wanjiru walked out he could be alive, maybe, had Pistorious bowed out; if it was a case of a troubled relationship, he could be free today. I labor to enjoy my life and not to end up in prison as someone enjoys my labor out there. I admitted to having a problem; difficulty in understanding why some people just changes to be a thorn in your life and second, my temper is not healthy for such kind of a relationship. What do you do in such a case? I found it better to close my eyes, swallow my ego and let go. It’s not worthy pretending that we are happy while I live in hell. If that amounts to being less of a man in the society, and let it be. On the other hand, It’s never easy when it involves the person you loved most. That’s how it ended.
Pole @Mchanganuzi. My advice, just walk away, others may call it cowardly but for your sanity it is better to be called a coward but live a peaceful life. Several years ago I walked away and looking back I thank God I did.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.... Leo Buscaglia
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mlefu
#65 Posted : Monday, February 18, 2013 4:55:06 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 2/11/2007
Posts: 1,680
Location: nairobi
boss.....why write such a long paragraph and not mention your problem..shida iko wapi ?

The ratio is still 1:8 but trust me* the other 7 are no different.
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wasee
#66 Posted : Monday, February 18, 2013 4:55:35 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 2/5/2010
Posts: 273
Location: NBI
@Mchanganuzi

Marriage is so much harder than anyone prepares you for. it's also much more fun, rich and rewarding than anyone can fully explain.

Fights/disagreements will occur at times because you are two imperfect people staying together and tending to invade into each other's comfort zone.i strongly believe since you had made a choice to stay together, its important to politely express/share your feeling with her and take time to learn for each other. I also think couples should be ready to shift their comfort zones abit to accomdate the other person. that way, you all grow together.

That not withstanding, Respect should always prevail even in the moment of anger and no one should treat the other in a humiliating way or use demeaning words since they cause deeper wounds.
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Angelica _ann
#67 Posted : Monday, February 18, 2013 5:04:45 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 12/7/2012
Posts: 11,939
marriage sucks but you have to be strong for the kids and put a positives image for the society. many a times you wish they were dead or just disappeared.
In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins - cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later - H Geneen
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Wa_ithaka
#68 Posted : Monday, February 18, 2013 5:08:47 PM
Rank: Veteran

Joined: 1/7/2010
Posts: 1,279
Location: nbi
A lot nyef nyef but little of realism apart from Anjelica.
Haul your ashes me son. You'll feel much better for it instead of crying about it...
The Governor of Nyeri - 2017
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Amores
#69 Posted : Monday, February 18, 2013 5:12:52 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 11/25/2011
Posts: 2,103
Location: Nrb
Angelica _ann wrote:
marriage sucks but you have to be strong for the kids and put a positives image for the society. many a times you wish they were dead or just disappeared.

Sad Sad Sad Sad

And the way i am looking forward ?Sad Sad Sad Sad
I am happy
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  | | Edit by user: Monday, February 18, 2013 5:14 PM | Reason: Not specified
murchr
#70 Posted : Monday, February 18, 2013 5:31:34 PM
Rank: Elder

Joined: 2/26/2012
Posts: 15,980
mchanganuzi wrote:
Why do some good people and loved ones turn to be what we never dreamt of? I can’t understand why some people just like trouble; I hate nagging characters and somebody who makes it their business to drive you nuts all the time even without considering that you have responsibilities that needs you to have a sober mind for the benefit of both of you. U can’t have a sober mind when your better half who you knew to be understanding and mature can no longer seem to reason or understand your reasoning about the most mundane things and all what you can read in their acts is an effort to put you down


Because it was just a dream...nothing more, unfortunately these women that we fall in love with are great actors, they can win oscars its just that they dont pursue these talents. Most women (95%) marry you for what you have and what they can get out of you. In most cases, they just want to show off to their friends that they are living the good life yet its you who is being milked to the core.

muchanganuzi wrote:
It’s not funny when all your kind pleas for a change falls on deaf ears and the only obvious conclusion is that a decision has been made to make your life miserable


Sometimes being away brings one to their senses. @Wai_thaka has suggested a quick fix....it works but only for a short while she will eventually want more and start nagging. So, take your time, heal and concentrate on what you love doing (make money) if you ever think of visiting this institution again, just never open a joint account.
"There are only two emotions in the market, hope & fear. The problem is you hope when you should fear & fear when you should hope: - Jesse Livermore
.
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  | | Edit by user: Monday, February 18, 2013 5:32 PM | Reason: Not specified
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