In actual fact people don't really change.
When both of u r courting i.e trying to get each one of you to commit to the other, can take yrs), then you put your best foot forward. You really work hard to get that - you pay more attention to the other party, constantly going the extra mile, anticipate what they will say even before they say it, opening doors, valentine teddies (tunyaus)+flowers+chocolate become standard, calling often, waiting for them 2hrs or so bila waswas - the whole caboodle of lovey dovey.

In effect, you are selling yourself, positioning yourself as favourably as possible in the eyes of your other half-to-be, so that he/she views you as DIFFERENT from the rest. Yaani, wewe uko sokoni, selling brand WEWE!
Sigh...which is anaa way of saying you are not really being yourself. In fact you are suppressing your real self!
Then when you get it, you see no use for going the extra mile - your actual personality. Ati nani akufungukie muriango, kwani hujiwezi?! Valentines ni upus! Si flowers ni colored weeds?! Sikuwa na credo to call you, etc
Since the other party don't genuinley know this real side of you (you had unwittingly presented a facade), she will summon her best girlfriends at at Java or any local karumaindo with you as the main and only agenda item: He's changed

Ask yourself what role you'd like to play - Prisoner - or - Prison Guard.

Love is for the courtship period only..... great love is just a need to stay together long enough to mate and bring up a child...true love is the instinct to stay together long enough and see how the fruits of the mating turn out all three are controlled by hormones....on the other hand marriage is announcing to the whole world that you are mating. Insert god into the equation and marriage becomes asking god's permission to mate...Marriage is only a respectable institution based on how respectable telling everyone you are having sex is, from this is this guy saying he will be mating without the permission of the world and this is where i say...That is great fun go boy.

Why do some good people and loved ones turn to be what we never dreamt of? I can’t understand why some people just like trouble; I hate nagging characters and somebody who makes it their business to drive you nuts all the time even without considering that you have responsibilities that needs you to have a sober mind for the benefit of both of you. U can’t have a sober mind when your better half who you knew to be understanding and mature can no longer seem to reason or understand your reasoning about the most mundane things and all what you can read in their acts is an effort to put you down. I initially thought it could have been a case of undermining me coz of my quiet nature and, the only thing she never knew was that I am usually kind and the cool coz I can't afford to unleash my true temper on someone but couldn’t hold it more. I just don’t like even mentioning that I ended up smashing my laptop and a phone due to anger and can’t cope with an imagination that I could one day get to such a point again. It’s not funny when all your kind pleas for a change falls on deaf ears and the only obvious conclusion is that a decision has been made to make your life miserable. I don’t want to sacrifice my business and career due to lack of peace of mind, I don’t want to get to a point where am struggling to breath for anger or even a point where I can assault someone. May be, had Wanjiru walked out he could be alive, maybe, had Pistorious bowed out; if it was a case of a troubled relationship, he could be free today. I labor to enjoy my life and not to end up in prison as someone enjoys my labor out there. I admitted to having a problem; difficulty in understanding why some people just changes to be a thorn in your life and second, my temper is not healthy for such kind of a relationship. What do you do in such a case? I found it better to close my eyes, swallow my ego and let go. It’s not worthy pretending that we are happy while I live in hell. If that amounts to being less of a man in the society, and let it be. On the other hand, It’s never easy when it involves the person you loved most. That’s how it ended.